WAY TO GO, EINSTEIN

I can point the finger of doubt and make up a perfectly illogical explanation for simple events. On Saturday night Phil watched the BYU-Oklahoma football game. I watched a DVD, Last Chance Harvey. At 8:45 I ran to Redbox to return it and then stopped by Pam's house on the way home. When I drove into her cul-de-sac I noticed all the lights were off at her neighbor, Faye's house. I don't know that I've ever seen all the lights off at Faye's house.

When I left Pam's house all the lights were on at Faye's house and their car was gone, their daughter's car was gone--the daughter lives in the basement apartment--and a van was parked skeewompus in the driveway.

I all of a sudden knew they had taken Faye's husband to the hospital. The daughter had gone with them because it was so serious. They had called someone to come and stay with the children in the basement apartment--that was the driver of the van, who had screeched on the brakes and ran to take care of the kids, not bothering to park properly.

Of course I called Faye. No answer. That further confirmed my theory. I called the hospital. No one was there by that name. I actually questioned the operator and had her check again, that is how sure I was. Had he gone to another hospital, I wondered?

I called Pam and told her my fears. I was convincing. I'm nothing if not convincing. Soon she said, "Oh, wait. Faye just drove in. I'll go see what's going on."

Pam called me back. Faye and all the family had gone to one of their kid's houses to watch the game--which BYU won, by the way. Faye had come home early. Everyone else was still watching the game. And everyone was fine, by the way. I never did find out why the van was parked sheewampus in the driveway or who it belonged to. I'm sure there is a story there.

I'm also sure Pam wanted to say, "Way to go, Einstein."

I said it myself.