THE REASON MRS. BIRD'S WAS LATE

I am Mrs. Bird's new visiting teacher. Today was my first day to go visit her--my partner is nowhere to be found. I've called. No answer and their voicemail box is full. I've sent two emails. No answer. So I went alone.

I pulled into Mrs. Bird's driveway and my phone rang. It was Phil. "Mrs. Bird called. She said she couldn't remember what time you were coming and she's at her daughter's house getting her nails done. She'll be home in fifteen minutes."

In a half hour I called Mrs. Bird. They had just driven in so I went to see her. I allowed a whole hour for her visit because, well, if you've read any of the posts about her, you know she's a talker. There was only a half hour left and when time was up she was just warming up but I had to go. I had another appointment.

"You know," she said, "I'd have been home on time, but my husband went with me. He wanted his toenails done."

I didn't even ask.