SONIC THE DOG SLEEPS ON THE BED

This is not a photo of Sonic. Sonic makes this dog look like a pygmy. Sonic is huge. He does everything in a huge way. You ought to see him devour a rawhide bone as big as your arm. Twenty minutes, tops.

We have some friends who have a HUGE golden Labrador. He is a beautiful dog, and does everything with gusto. His name is Sonic and he loves to sleep on the bed with his master and mistress. He waits until they are asleep and then he sneaks, stealthily onto the bed, so stealthily that Mr. Successful doesn't even wake up. He sleeps in between them. He probably weighs as much as the mistress, who I am going to call Blondie. He might even weigh as much as his master, Mr. Successful. Blondie likes Sonic to sleep on the bed because he is like a furry heater and she puts her back up against him and is warm all winter. (Sonic sleeps on top of the covers.)

Mr. Successful is not so fond of Sonic sleeping on the bed. In the first place he'd like to be the one his wife snuggles up against. The second reason is that Sonic has the breath of a dragon. When he lays on his back his breath actually turns the ceiling fan. I'm not making this up, Mr. Successful told Phil. Can you imagine? A dog having breath so strong it will turn the ceiling fan?

The other night Mr. Successful was having a dream of the perfect storm--a storm that smelled like dog breath. He woke up and there was Sonic, with his hot-dog-breath, four inches from Mr. Successful's face. Mr. Suiccessful's eyebrows were wafting to and fro with Sonic's every breath.

So, if you ever have an annoying pet remember it can't be this bad--going to bed with a beautiful woman and waking up to an furry snout, breathing hot breath in your face. Kind of kills any romance you might have, doesn't it? Poor Mr. Successful. Happy, warm Blondie.