INSOMNIA

Nine years ago I had insomnia. My neighbor had insomnia too. I walked the neighborhood. She did laundry. I filled the night with quiet footsteps and thoughts. She filled the night with the scent of laundry detergent and fabric softener. I loved the scent of her detergent so much that I changed mine. She did not hear my thoughts so she didn't change her opinions, habits or normal behavior to quirks.

I never saw another person at 2:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m., etc, but I did see an occasional car. That always frightened me. Who was driving in our neighborhood at that hour? What were they up to? I didn't carry a cell phone nor a weapon. My karate skills were kind of the "wax on, wax off," variety and I can't stand on one leg for longer than a few seconds.

I always went right home when a car came into the neighborhood and hoped I didn't fumble the key in the lock before bad men came to kill me. They never did, of course. The next night, when I couldn't sleep I went back out, into the night--perhaps an egg salad sandwich is missing from my picnic basket.

Last night, for the first time in about eight years I had insomnia . At 1:30 I gave up and got up to watch recorded "House" episodes because it's eight years later, the world has changed--more crazies driving the neighborhood at night--and probably the biggest reason: I'm lazy, so I watched three House episodes instead.

Since I haven't watched House from the beginning and since some of these were recorded in 2004 and some in 2009 and some, somewhere in between, I'm wondering things like, "How did Cuddy get a baby?" "Who killed himself and why?" (I only saw about three minutes of that episode--where Cameron said, "He's cold.") "Did Foreman, Chase and Cameron get fired and if so why? And if they did how did they get re-hired? And while they were fired what was with all the numbered people wanting to fill the vacancy? Is this a 'teaching' hospital?" See how much I don't know. "Why is Wilson so nice and why is House so...so...House-ish?" And my final question, "Why doesn't House get fired!?" I mean, really, let's face it, he's pretty much a law unto himself.

Oh, one more question. "Why can't normal hospitals have a House?" I wonder if my neighbor has answers. I see her light on at all hours of the night so I know she is back in an insomnia mode and maybe she watches TV while folding socks.

At 4:00 a.m. I still couldn't sleep but went to bed anyway. As I lay there, staring at the dark ceiling, I wondered one last thing. Why do I like House so much when the mere mention of his name sends my dear husband from the room, muttering and questioning my sanity.

These are questions that feed insomnia.