Yesterday, when President Uchtdorf spoke, he mentioned that he loves the song "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam." This is probably the first Primary song the three-year-old children learn. (I tried to download a video of the song but my skills as a computer competent person are nonexistent.)
The thought immediately came to me that Jesus wants me to be happy--to shine, so to speak--in my life, in my trials, in my encounters with others. I do not shine in my trials. I am not happy in my trials. I am "heavy laden," and "My hands hang down." I sigh. I weep. I want to run away--once I even wrote a story about running away to Texas and described what I would do there. Occasionally, not often, but occasionally, I am even angry. But mostly I worry. Is that a trait of women? Worry? I don't want to worry, I want to have faith. I am really going to work on my attitude as I feel this was inspiration, sent for me. Jesus wants me to be his sunbeam. Jesus doesn't want me to be his gloomy, doubting, depressed, angry, upset, weeping, horrible person with my feet dragging in the sand and my head hanging down.
Will you help me? Will you be my confidantes? My fellow blooggers who show me by your faith that I can have faith too? I read you blogs and am strengthened as I see you fighting your battles with faith--as I watch you having integrity and courage. We are all in this together, we are all connected.
"I love you and you love me." the next line is, "We are a happy family." As a church, we believe we are all one family. God's children. We are all brothers and sisters.
So, with God as my Father and Jesus as my Savior and with your help, maybe I can become more of a sunbeam. I will hold your hands and be strengthened and sustained.
12 comments:
You are already a sunbeam for me in my life. I agree that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to be gloomy, sad worry warts. How about this: I'll help you with your efforts to shine by doing my best to be a sunbeam for you and those around me too.
P.S. iloveyourguts. the end.
I love what you wrote. I agree that He wants me to shine through my trials, but I don't think I am shining very well. The only thing I can say is that my modus operendi has been: If I think of something to do for someone else, I just drop everything and do it. This has been my only means of survival. I have been so busy trying to meet deadlines for various things I have dreamed up to do that it has helped me not think about the losses I have suffered. I have done a lot of projects as surprises for other people and I am grateful that I have been busy.
My only hope is that what I have done has brought some sunshine into some of the people's lives that I have tried to remember and surprise. I hope someday, I can feel true joy again.
I am sorry that I haven't blogged for a while. I have been working nonstop every available spare minute that I have had for the last month or more on a present for Camille and I am still not done. I hope
that I can meet my deadline because I have a plane ticket to fly out of town this coming Thurs. October 8 is her birthday. Say a prayer for me.
I'd have to say I'm more of a sun-soaker, than an actual beam.
I loved conference, it's a good time for me to just lay out.
Love you!
One regret I have is,that as I look back on my life, I wonder, what was I worried about then? Why wasn't I happier, and appreciating the good things that were in my life then? I know memory is selective, and it is possible to forget the bad and remember the good, but still, I need to try and be grateful AND happy now, even as I deal with the present trials.
And still you ask, as you pick up the phone at 10:02pm "whats wrong?"
Nothing is wrong, nothing is ever wrong. Well one thing was - once but I called right smack in the middle of the day, and started crying even before I got any words out. That Darn Leisel.
I am already a ray of sunshine in your life. As are you-for me.
Tootles.
Visiting your blog is a big ray of sunshine, Lynne!
Do you know the second verse? Most people don't even know there is one.
"Jesus wants me to be loving,
And kind to all I see.
Showing how pleasant and happy
His little ones can be."
(Chorus)
See? You are a Sunbeam, whether you think you are or not. You are so very loving and kind, pleasant and happy. No one else emails me because I make a gloomy comment on their blogs. (Who needs to work on the Sunbeam business?) And the fact that you want to be even better just shows how Sunbeamy you are.
But also, your post was beautifully written.
You are a sunbeam, you are Lynne, you are wise enough to know there is too much pain and sorrow in the world, you are wise enough to be tormented by it..and you do what you can to be happy so that you add more joy to this world...I say you're doing wonderfully!
Well, Lynne, I came by to thank you for your words of kindness and encouragement -- for making such an effort to strengthen my feeble knees -- and I find you worrying that you aren't a sunbeam!
You poured some light into my life this week, so there you go! Sunbeam status: ACHIEVED!
You, you, you are my ray of sunshine!! But, yes, I will join you in your quest!! You motivated me to blog more, and now I will try to be more positive with you!!
You are awesome, my dear...
You know what really strikes me about this post? The honesty. Jesus loves that. He also loves the humble. Ask him for help and He will gladly give it to you.
How about that 'this little light of mine" song? You know we can do nothing without abiding in Him. Check out John 15. It will make you feel better, and give you something to think about.
That was my favorite talk! You ARE a sunbeam! Thanks girlie-Q!
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