SNOW AND THE MORNING SONGS

Today was a little snow, big snow day

It sifted down for hours, starting way before sunup and I guess we got six to eight inches. It made the world clean and fresh. If only it were as easy to make me the same. And I guess the message is I can do it. Little by little, sifting the bad tendencies out, embracing the good ones. Refusing to be brought down--that is the hard part--rejoicing in life and trusting that all will be well.

Embracing the joy. I think God wants us to have joy. He says so in the scriptures. If I believe Him, and I do, I should have joy. All the time? I'm beginning to think that may be possible. Even in trials and sorrows? I think if we remember who we are and where our destiny lies then I think so. Can I do this? There isn't a font large enough to say "no" with as much emphasis as I feel it needs. But can I, really is it possible? I think so. Today? No, today was not a joyful day. It was a fearful day, but should it have been? Probably not. I must learn to trust more and have more faith.

And I must re-read and then re-read again Carol Tuttle's book Remembering Wholeness. Phil read the first seven chapters to me today and then I felt better. There is so much good information coming out into the world at this time. It is a good time to live.

One of the reasons it is a good time to live is because there are some great people out there. Two friends I talked to tonight. Two friends who reassured me and offered help and an email from a family member too. (Bless you, Sharee and may your children always be obedient.) My husband, who is my rock. He helps me every day in one way or another. He is patient and not always understanding but he's getting better at it. How can you understand an irrational woman, anyway? So, mostly he's understanding even though I'm not mostly rational.

My world is full of people who are so willing to help. Some of you, who comment on my blog are those people too. Thank you, one and all for your goodness, your humor, for your own beautiful/funny/insightful/tender, etc. blogs where I spend far too much time every day.

The Morning Songs.

This morning, actually for a lot of the mornings for as long as two or three weeks, I have had the same song going through my head when I wake up. The third verse of a hymn. At first I thought it was for me but it came so often and was so persistently there that maybe it is for someone who might read this blog, too.

"Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."

I couldn't remember what hymn it was for a couple of weeks. It's How Firm a Foundation. It has brought me a lot of comfort. I hope it will help someone else.

Nothing funny to report today. Some days are like that. Other days are hysterical. Come to think of it, this day will probably be hysterical in a year. I'll re-write it then and you will laugh and so will I.

Won't we?

I'M A TECHNOLOGICAL DUFFUS

There is no way around it, I'm a technological duffus. I can't figure out all the TV, VCR, DVD remotes, barely can figure out the DVR. The TV Guardian? Hah. If I ever want to hear a swear word I'll have to learn to read lips because I don't know how to change settings, I don't even know where it is among all the gadgets Phil has hooked up to the TV.

Today I was cleaning the kitchen--no, I'm still not done but I uncovered things that archaeologists would be excited to discover--and I wanted to listen to a Carol Tuttle CD while I worked--so I can shed my insecurities and become well adjusted. But I couldn't get the CD player to work.

One reason is the CD player has buttons with words so small only ants can read them. In my random button punching frenzy I opened and closed the CD door a few times, turned the radio on and off and punched the button I was sure should start my road to well adjustedness. Nothing.

I finally called the fixer of all my technological stupidity and he ejected the CD, took it out and said, "Here's your problem. What does that say?"

"DVD," I said.

He sighed. I slunk downstairs to choose another CD. I put it in. Punched buttons. Waited. I didn't particularly want to disturb him again because he was contemplating washing the windows and if there is anything I wanted today it is to see clearly outside before the darkness descends, but finally I had to call for help.

He ejected this CD looked at it and said a four letter word, "Crap," which is about as four letter as he gets. Then he sighed. Then he took it out and handed it to me and wordlessly pointed out the word "DVD."

I stuttered and stammered and finally realized I'd be better off just going away. Which I did.

He washed the windows. I learned to read. Not too bad for a know-it-all and a duffus.

STRESS + TIME = HUMOR

I heard a great quote today on the radio. I'd give credit but I'm down with a nasty cold and didn't catch who said it. Perhaps he didn't originate it anyway, but at any rate I apologize.

"Stress plus time equals humor."

If you don't believe it read the my blog "A story from the past, Phil's Turn to get up with Bentley." (September 15. 2007) This was NOT funny at the time. It was a major stress for all of us but, hey, it's funny now.

Carol Tuttle, a woman with great insight--buy her book, Remembering Wholeness--you won't be disappointed--says we don't live in the present. We live in the past or the future. We fret over the past, we do the should'have's, could'have's, would'have's. I've done this several thousand times. I should have taught the kids better, should have had Family Home Evening better, should have read the scriptures with them better--there's a list so long that I couldn't list them all.

Or we live in the future. What if such and such happens or what if such and such doesn't happen?

Pretty soon our stress level is beyond measure.

Then we get sick. Like today for me. Or we get depressed. Or we decide to cut our losses and run. There are lots of things people run from--relationships, religion, jobs, marriages--some people just clam up and don't talk. That's running too. Or we blame someone else.

I don't necessarily have any answers how not to live in the past or the future but I know if we lived in the present we'd be better off. Right now my handout for tomorrow--I have to teach in Relief Society--is frozen. I know that it will probably stay frozen and I'll have to close it down and start all over. See, living in the future. Anyway, it will be funny tomorrow but not right now as I really want to go to bed or have Phil rub my feet and tell me I'm a wonderful person or I want to sit in front of the fire and eat hot popcorn with browned butter. Well, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow, when I'll be completely well. Or...maybe I'll be completely well right now, in the present.

Anyway, it's worth looking at, this stress business, given some time, becoming funny. And it's worth looking into living in the present too.