We hate them--trials--and yet they are necessary. We can't appreciate the good without the bad. I wanted to say "without the evil" but evil is such a...well, evil word.
I remember the night I was going to pray for every single family in our neighborhood. It was daunting. I got to exactly six houses when I realized that if I prayed for everyone I would be on my knees--or leaning on the bed, because of my bad knees--all night--perhaps even for days. Everyone had problems that seemed heartbreaking to me.
But there was one family that I couldn't find the trial for. I have often said to Phil, "They don't have a trial," and he would tell me "you just didn't know about it." Sadly, he was right. This week I found out and I was devastated. I love that family. Well, actually I love all of my neighbors and am devastated about their trials but this one kind of involved me too. It kind of involved everyone in our neighborhood. We are all hurting. Hurting and praying for this family but hurting for ourselves too.
And then, just tonight, I realized that every one of my neighbor's/friend's trials involve me because I know them. Because I love them. Because I recognize who they really are.
Now I ask a question...can my sharing the hurt, the humiliation, the fear--insert any number of hurtful words here--make a difference? Can my worrying, prayers, and well wishes, make a difference or not?
I remember in the beginning of one of my trials I wanted to run home to Momma, although she had died the year before. I wanted to mentally run home and thought of physically running home too, to Daddy. He wouldn't have known what to do with me but I was seriously thinking about it. And then I confessed this to one of my friends. Perhaps I was feeling her out, thinking she would give me words of confirmation. Instead she drew herself up to her full height, and in a "mind me!" sort of voice said, "Oh no you won't. You will stay right here where your support system is."
How can you deny that force? I stayed. And, indeed, my friends rallied around and made my life easier. And since we have been through that time together nothing will ever, EVER break that bond of friendship.
I don't know if my friends with the new, raw trial, will run home to "Momma"-wherever that might be--or if they will stay here where their support group is. I hope they will stay so we can heal together. I pray for it. I hope they are brave and have the common sense like I did--well, I didn't have the common sense but my friend did. Do you think if I said, "Oh no you won't!" that will sway their decision?
In the mean time, I will pray for them and for my hurting and everyone else's. Together we can heal, and in the healing we will be stronger. We will be one.
Showing posts with label trials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trials. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
ARE YOU DEALING WITH "STUFF" YOU WISH YOU WEREN'T?
Do you get The Universe's daily emails? If not, go forth and sign up. When you get to the website you will see this: "Welcome Supercoolhappylovething!" (At least that's what it says today.) I feel better already. I want to be a supercookhappylovething, don't you? I like it that somebody said I was, even if they don't know me. I'm takin' it.
This is the man behind the message. Thanks Mike.
Here is today's message:
"Did you know, Lynne (your name will be inserted here), that in your gorgeous little planet's entire history, there's never been a drought that didn't end? A storm that didn't clear? Lightning that didn't retreat? An earthquake that didn't still? A flood that didn't recede? Or a plague that wasn't, eventually, overwhelmed by the healthy?
"Now, as a rule, I'm not into odds, statistics, or gambling, Lynne (your name), but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that somethings going on down there; that the deck is clearly stacked; and that you've got friends in some very, very, very high places.
"HIT ME, BABY!
"The Universe"
I am comforted knowing my trials and troubles will end. They may be replaced with new ones but the old ones will end. Hallelujah!
I think I know wrote this advice to me in the "comments" section of one of my posts but I'm not sure so I don't dare say. If it was you, please tell me so I can love you even more. It was something like this: "My daddy used to say, 'if it's not going to matter tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in five years, then don't let it ruin your today.'" I say that to myself over and over, again and again, sometimes daily. It's good advice. And that Laura, she just let's things/troubles/worries go. How healthy is that? Very. I want to be like that.
"Got forever and ever?
So go forth and sign up for Tut and don't let your todays be ruined. I'll try to take that advice too.
This is the man behind the message. Thanks Mike.
Here is today's message:
"Did you know, Lynne (your name will be inserted here), that in your gorgeous little planet's entire history, there's never been a drought that didn't end? A storm that didn't clear? Lightning that didn't retreat? An earthquake that didn't still? A flood that didn't recede? Or a plague that wasn't, eventually, overwhelmed by the healthy?
"Now, as a rule, I'm not into odds, statistics, or gambling, Lynne (your name), but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that somethings going on down there; that the deck is clearly stacked; and that you've got friends in some very, very, very high places.
"HIT ME, BABY!
"The Universe"
I am comforted knowing my trials and troubles will end. They may be replaced with new ones but the old ones will end. Hallelujah!
I think I know wrote this advice to me in the "comments" section of one of my posts but I'm not sure so I don't dare say. If it was you, please tell me so I can love you even more. It was something like this: "My daddy used to say, 'if it's not going to matter tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in five years, then don't let it ruin your today.'" I say that to myself over and over, again and again, sometimes daily. It's good advice. And that Laura, she just let's things/troubles/worries go. How healthy is that? Very. I want to be like that.
This was yesterday's message:
"Young souls get angry at others.Old souls get angry at themselves.But really wise souls, Lynne, have already turned the page.
"Got forever and ever?
"The Universe"
So go forth and sign up for Tut and don't let your todays be ruined. I'll try to take that advice too.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
LIFE IS LIKE A GRINDSTONE...
This quote: "Life is like a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, that's up to you," came from Gary Ceran's dad.
We know Gary. He taught Her Excellency of Mousehole in a private school a few years ago.
On Christmas Eve, 2006, a drunken driver hit their car and his wife and two of his children were killed.
He forgave. He's a survivor. He's being polished.
He doesn't have a great career. He doesn't vacation in Paradise but he's happy. In fact he was one of the happiest people I've ever met. He loved the kids he taught--loved my child and her cohorts. Really loved them.
He is one of my hero's.
Read his story here.
We know Gary. He taught Her Excellency of Mousehole in a private school a few years ago.
On Christmas Eve, 2006, a drunken driver hit their car and his wife and two of his children were killed. He forgave. He's a survivor. He's being polished.
He doesn't have a great career. He doesn't vacation in Paradise but he's happy. In fact he was one of the happiest people I've ever met. He loved the kids he taught--loved my child and her cohorts. Really loved them.
He is one of my hero's.
Read his story here.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
BLOOMING, EVEN WHEN YOU ARE PLANTED UNDER A ROCK
Actually, this is a pretty good analogy. Lots of people are in situations they hate don't like. Bad marriages. Poverty. Having disabled children or needing to care for elderly parents. Needing to loose weight and not being able to--I understand that one. Depression. Allergies. Poor health with all it's accompanying horrors. Migraines. The list is endless. (I'd say baldness but I think Phil looks wonderful so I think baldness is a good thing.)
Do we complain? Wish for other situations? Envy other people who we perceive have it better? Or do we get down to work and do what has to be done? I wish I could say I do the latter. But sometimes I do the first. (I've learned not to envy others because I've learned they are dealing with "stuff" that I have no idea about.)
Here's my visual aid for dealing with "whatever":
This is the front of our house. Our flowers did well this year. Our best year yet.
On the far right I had pots of flowers but as the oak trees leaves got bigger and bigger the flowers had to be moved into the sunlight.
This little handmade planter was not even planted as I knew the chances of anything blooming were slim. But, the planter had it's own idea. It sprouted a little petunia and the petunia is growing bigger every week.
But the real miracle is the two naked lady bulbs you see growing, one right next to the planter and the other, behind. I dug every single bulb earlier this year. These two bulbs are under this planter. They found their way out and are going to bloom. If that's not a positive attitude I'll eat my hat.
May we all bloom, wherever we are, whatever we are dealing with. The bloom doesn't have to be spactular. Just a little sign that life is okay. Even though it's not.
An eight year old girl I'll call Mary--because that's her name--summed it up nicely today as she bore her testimony. She said her daddy told her, "Jesus will make everything all right in the end."
And he will. He's promised.
Do we complain? Wish for other situations? Envy other people who we perceive have it better? Or do we get down to work and do what has to be done? I wish I could say I do the latter. But sometimes I do the first. (I've learned not to envy others because I've learned they are dealing with "stuff" that I have no idea about.)
Here's my visual aid for dealing with "whatever":
This is the front of our house. Our flowers did well this year. Our best year yet.
On the far right I had pots of flowers but as the oak trees leaves got bigger and bigger the flowers had to be moved into the sunlight.
This little handmade planter was not even planted as I knew the chances of anything blooming were slim. But, the planter had it's own idea. It sprouted a little petunia and the petunia is growing bigger every week.But the real miracle is the two naked lady bulbs you see growing, one right next to the planter and the other, behind. I dug every single bulb earlier this year. These two bulbs are under this planter. They found their way out and are going to bloom. If that's not a positive attitude I'll eat my hat.
May we all bloom, wherever we are, whatever we are dealing with. The bloom doesn't have to be spactular. Just a little sign that life is okay. Even though it's not. An eight year old girl I'll call Mary--because that's her name--summed it up nicely today as she bore her testimony. She said her daddy told her, "Jesus will make everything all right in the end."
And he will. He's promised.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"UP," THE MOVIE, AND ALSO A PLACE TO LOOK FOR COMFORT
These little people took me
to the movie "UP" last week. 
They were delightful.
They were delightful. The movie was delightful, too.
It was funny and a bit sad too.
It had high adventure.
And the cone of shame.
It had high adventure. And the cone of shame.The movie was about friendship and
loyalty but it was about loss, too.
Today was a day of loss for us. A sad day. A day for contemplation and faith in Heavenly Father and believing him when he makes promises.
If you are having a sad day/month/year/life, remember that God loves you and is watching over you. He is sad at your sadness but He knows that everything will be all right, even when it's not. I find it hard to believe some days, like today, but deep in my heart I know it is true.
God loves you. He loves me and my family. He wants us all to be happy. Even when we are sad. Like today.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
RUNNING FROM TROUBLE
Today my visiting teachers gave me a message out of the Ensign--the May, Conference Report issue. It was Be of Good Cheer by President Monson. My visiting teacher said she wanted us to have a positive message, but there were three terrible-suffering-sad stories in there. I was not positive or cheerful or nuthin' when she read them. In fact she cried and I was glum.
President Monson advised us to, "face our challenges, to meet them head on, and to emerge victorious."
Now I ask you, what's wrong with not meeting our challenges head on, but running like blazes and hoping to outrun them? Do they always catch up? Are they stronger and bigger if they have to puff and pant to keep up? Can we still be victorious later?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.
President Monson advised us to, "face our challenges, to meet them head on, and to emerge victorious."
Now I ask you, what's wrong with not meeting our challenges head on, but running like blazes and hoping to outrun them? Do they always catch up? Are they stronger and bigger if they have to puff and pant to keep up? Can we still be victorious later?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
PHONE CALLS
A friend was over tonight and the phone kept ringing. Both daughters and a woman who talked a mile a minute and then signed off without a goodbye. I said, "Are you still there?" She wasn't.
She's a lovely woman who has a plethera of problems and I adore her but not as much as I love my dear daughters. How I wish I could make everything better for my family. I would foul things up royally. They wouldn't have any growth because I'd solve everything. They wouldn't get any stronger because Mommy would sweep in and make everything easy and pretty and even smelling nice.
And the woman on the phone and the dear friend? I'd solve their problems too and then where would they be?
I'd foul things up royally. I really would.
She's a lovely woman who has a plethera of problems and I adore her but not as much as I love my dear daughters. How I wish I could make everything better for my family. I would foul things up royally. They wouldn't have any growth because I'd solve everything. They wouldn't get any stronger because Mommy would sweep in and make everything easy and pretty and even smelling nice.
And the woman on the phone and the dear friend? I'd solve their problems too and then where would they be?
I'd foul things up royally. I really would.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
TRIALS AND TROUBLES
This afternoon a family member was hospitalized. She's home now, very shaky and frightened. We all are frightened. We love her and her family and hope all will be well.
Today, all over the world people found out their lives aren't going to be like they thought. All the hopes have been put on hold. The ripple effect reaches people who don't even know them. Soon, in one way or another, we are all affected. Today it was my family in distress. Tomorrow it may be yours or your neighbor's or someone you will never meet but we are all connected. What affects one affects all.
Phil and I fed the kids and then played games with them. When they were getting ready for bed the five year old "lost it." She bawled while brushing her teeth and could hardly talk for foam and spit. "I miss my Mom," she said, over and over. One life, so important, so precious, so needed and so loved.
The very important "Mom" is home tonight, shaken and tired. Tomorrow, and in the days to come, the doctors will try to track down the problem. I hope it is a quick fix.
And whatever is troubling you out there, or around the corner, or next door, you who I probably don't even know, but whose life circumstances ripples and eventually touches mine, I hope you find answers and help and peace. And if the answers are not what you thought they might be I hope you will know that people, who have never met you, care.
I hope that doesn't sound insincere or flippant. I am picturing people all over the world who are saddened tonight. People in circumstances I cannot imagine. Some are in poverty and some in wealth. Some have people to help them and some are alone. And I am thinking of one woman that I love and of her husband and her children and all the people who are touched by the ripples of her life and hoping that everything will be okay. As I hope for you. That your life, though difficult and unplanned for, will be okay. That is my sincere wish.
Today, all over the world people found out their lives aren't going to be like they thought. All the hopes have been put on hold. The ripple effect reaches people who don't even know them. Soon, in one way or another, we are all affected. Today it was my family in distress. Tomorrow it may be yours or your neighbor's or someone you will never meet but we are all connected. What affects one affects all.
~If I weren't so tired I'd look up effect and affect and see how to use them properly.~
Phil and I fed the kids and then played games with them. When they were getting ready for bed the five year old "lost it." She bawled while brushing her teeth and could hardly talk for foam and spit. "I miss my Mom," she said, over and over. One life, so important, so precious, so needed and so loved.
The very important "Mom" is home tonight, shaken and tired. Tomorrow, and in the days to come, the doctors will try to track down the problem. I hope it is a quick fix.
And whatever is troubling you out there, or around the corner, or next door, you who I probably don't even know, but whose life circumstances ripples and eventually touches mine, I hope you find answers and help and peace. And if the answers are not what you thought they might be I hope you will know that people, who have never met you, care.
I hope that doesn't sound insincere or flippant. I am picturing people all over the world who are saddened tonight. People in circumstances I cannot imagine. Some are in poverty and some in wealth. Some have people to help them and some are alone. And I am thinking of one woman that I love and of her husband and her children and all the people who are touched by the ripples of her life and hoping that everything will be okay. As I hope for you. That your life, though difficult and unplanned for, will be okay. That is my sincere wish.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
MY FAVORITE PHOTO
I started another blog the other day and this is the photo on it. I wanted to share this photo with you. It was taken on my wedding day.
I was so in love. So happy. So innocent and believing life would be easy and rich with wonderful experiences. It has been rich with experiences but I have a hard time saying they have all been wonderful. That is because I don't understand like God does.
I am embarking on a study of faith. It's going to be slow going because every day I have responsibilities and it won't let up until after the New Year. Maybe not even then. But I hope to be able to see my life as God does, to feel the happiness he offers me, even when things don't play out like I think they should.
But, tonight, I wanted to share this photo. An uncomplicated little photo, showing me on a happy day. May you all have those days of happiness or remember those days of happiness or have faith that all will be well. That is one of my goals, to know that all will be well.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
HAVE PEACE IN YOUR HEARTS
I was not going to blog tonight, just go to bed and not worry about it but a friend is in distress and I must stay up and email her. There is nothing I can do to help. I will tell her I love her and am praying for her--which I did, right this very minute--and I hope she receives the peace I prayed for.
And that is my prayer for all tonight. Some are in situations that can't be helped or fixed. Some are in situations that will eventually be all right. But all are loved by their Father in Heaven and by the Savior. I hope all will be comforted and have peace in their hearts.
You are so very important to your Heavenly Father and the Savior. You are so very loved. Open yourself up to that love and be reassured.
And that is my prayer for all tonight. Some are in situations that can't be helped or fixed. Some are in situations that will eventually be all right. But all are loved by their Father in Heaven and by the Savior. I hope all will be comforted and have peace in their hearts.
You are so very important to your Heavenly Father and the Savior. You are so very loved. Open yourself up to that love and be reassured.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
SHE CAN'T WHAT? LOOSE FIVE POUNDS? GOOD GRIEF.
I wandered onto a blog today and you know what? The poor prefect woman who had the perfect life and a couple of perfect children and was married to the perfect man with sparkling teeth was whining because she couldn't loose five pounds.
But then I noticed her blog had all the paragraphs running together. Huge blocks of text depress me and she had already depressed me with her perfect life, except for that pesky five pounds, that is.
Another woman's blog I wandered into was feeling sorry for herself because she had a child that wasn't in school so she could have free time. There are a million women who would love to have a child. Period. I was always sorry when my kids went back to school.
Then I ran across this quote:
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." ~Garrison Keillor
And I decided to be happy that I am me and she is she and never the twain shall meet. Or some such nonsense. And I'm going to bed now, actually before midnight.
One last thought:
"Bad is never good until worse happens." ~Danish Proverb
Which reminds me of the punchline to that old "it could be worse" joke: "It could be me." And we are glad it's not, aren't we?
But then I noticed her blog had all the paragraphs running together. Huge blocks of text depress me and she had already depressed me with her perfect life, except for that pesky five pounds, that is.
Another woman's blog I wandered into was feeling sorry for herself because she had a child that wasn't in school so she could have free time. There are a million women who would love to have a child. Period. I was always sorry when my kids went back to school.
Then I ran across this quote:
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." ~Garrison Keillor
And I decided to be happy that I am me and she is she and never the twain shall meet. Or some such nonsense. And I'm going to bed now, actually before midnight.
One last thought:
"Bad is never good until worse happens." ~Danish Proverb
Which reminds me of the punchline to that old "it could be worse" joke: "It could be me." And we are glad it's not, aren't we?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
THE JOURNEY by LISA SOUTH
This is a poem, published in the July Ensign. In the Ensign it is hand written over a lovely photo of covered wagons descending into a valley. I wanted to print that painting with the poem, actually I wanted the poem to show up as it was printed, hand written. So, please imagine this in cursive, over a golden painting with a cluster of wagons descending into a valley.
Our Mormon pioneers entered the Salt Lake valley on July 24th, 1847. July 24th has been celebrated as pioneer Day ever since. They had been driven out of their homes, again and again. This was to be their sanctuary, a place they could live without persecution. And so it has been--this valley, this Utah. Now our modern day pioneers live all over the world, each facing challenges, daily, weekly, yearly, like all people everywhere, and when they take a second or third breath, regroup and remember the promise of the Savior, they rejoice.
Lisa South, “The Journey,” Ensign, Jul 2008, pg. 27
They began
And rejoiced—
Buried tiny bodies in shallow graves,
Wept, and began again.
They entered the valley
With joy—
Beat crickets off their vanishing crops,
Starved, wept, and began again.
They built their homes
With gladness—
Prepared them for burning against an approaching army,
Wept, and began again.
They endured to the end.
They set the example.
Fighting our own crickets and armies,
We weep, remember, begin again—
And rejoice.
Our Mormon pioneers entered the Salt Lake valley on July 24th, 1847. July 24th has been celebrated as pioneer Day ever since. They had been driven out of their homes, again and again. This was to be their sanctuary, a place they could live without persecution. And so it has been--this valley, this Utah. Now our modern day pioneers live all over the world, each facing challenges, daily, weekly, yearly, like all people everywhere, and when they take a second or third breath, regroup and remember the promise of the Savior, they rejoice.
Lisa South, “The Journey,” Ensign, Jul 2008, pg. 27
They began
And rejoiced—
Buried tiny bodies in shallow graves,
Wept, and began again.
They entered the valley
With joy—
Beat crickets off their vanishing crops,
Starved, wept, and began again.
They built their homes
With gladness—
Prepared them for burning against an approaching army,
Wept, and began again.
They endured to the end.
They set the example.
Fighting our own crickets and armies,
We weep, remember, begin again—
And rejoice.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST FRIENDS
I just got a call from a friend I've known for 31 years. She was in our ward and neighborhood for a few years and then moved. We've stayed close. We hardly ever do anything together anymore but it doesn't matter. She calls and it's like time has stood still.
I remember one time one of us called the other and said, "We need to talk." We met in some little dive and had dessert. We both said, "I've got some bad news." We talked and listened, cried, hugged and took deep breaths and got on with our lives. It was comforting to know someone else was dealing with hard times while I was too. I wanted her life to be easy, wanted mine to be easy too, but it wasn't. We grew stronger together.
We used to sneak away when we could and go to late movies together. It seems like that was the only time we could schedule, when the kids were taken care of and in bed. We've laughed more than is believable. Phil says he always knows when I'm talking to Cheryl on the phone because of all the laughter.
I don't know what my life would have been like without Cheryl in it. When we bought this house it was second choice. The house we really wanted, the one we had an offer on, was sold to someone else for a cash offer. We didn't blame the seller but we really were kind of "bummed." How glad I am that didn't get that house. So many things would have been different.
Things work out. Life goes on. Friends come and go but some stay friends forever.
I have a lot of those forever friends. When I see them it's like I open my heart up and let my vulnerability show. I can do that. I trust them, they would never betray me even though our lives only touch occasionally. They are old friends. Best friends.
Some old, best friends are even relatively new but they already have the "old" and "best" friend label. I know where they'll be in twenty years. Right where Cheryl is now.
I am blessed.
I remember one time one of us called the other and said, "We need to talk." We met in some little dive and had dessert. We both said, "I've got some bad news." We talked and listened, cried, hugged and took deep breaths and got on with our lives. It was comforting to know someone else was dealing with hard times while I was too. I wanted her life to be easy, wanted mine to be easy too, but it wasn't. We grew stronger together.
We used to sneak away when we could and go to late movies together. It seems like that was the only time we could schedule, when the kids were taken care of and in bed. We've laughed more than is believable. Phil says he always knows when I'm talking to Cheryl on the phone because of all the laughter.
I don't know what my life would have been like without Cheryl in it. When we bought this house it was second choice. The house we really wanted, the one we had an offer on, was sold to someone else for a cash offer. We didn't blame the seller but we really were kind of "bummed." How glad I am that didn't get that house. So many things would have been different.
Things work out. Life goes on. Friends come and go but some stay friends forever.
I have a lot of those forever friends. When I see them it's like I open my heart up and let my vulnerability show. I can do that. I trust them, they would never betray me even though our lives only touch occasionally. They are old friends. Best friends.
Some old, best friends are even relatively new but they already have the "old" and "best" friend label. I know where they'll be in twenty years. Right where Cheryl is now.
I am blessed.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
MOVIE: THE PRIZE WINNER OF DEFIANCE, OHIO
Yesterday our Net Flix movie came. The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. This was another of my choices. The one before it was also mine, Whale Rider. A gripping Maori film. Well, I liked it. It was a gentle movie. If Phil wants real gripping, action packed movies he needs to get busy and order some. I just ordered three more, just like this one, movies that I've never heard of, gentle, heartwarming movies. 
This movie was based on a true story of a woman who, with her wit, determination and writing ability, entered contests and won.
Early on, we see the milkman--we saw him a lot--telling her he couldn't deliver her milk because she couldn't pay. Just then the mailman brought the mail and she opened up an envelope that contained two dollars winnings from a contest she had entered. She paid the milkman and got her milk.
All through the movie she won things. A freezer, a Triumph car, which she had to sell but she sat in it a lot, enjoying it while she had it even though she didn't drive.
She even won a frenzied shopping trip where she loaded her cart with things like button mushrooms, caviar and capers, sides of bacon and steak. She rejoiced in each item and helped the kids rejoice in them too. They had a feast with all the things she had put in her cart but her disgruntled husband refused to join in the fun. He opened a can of spam and ate it cold out of the can.
What I liked most about the movie was that she was happy. She had ten kids and an alcoholic husband. She could barely keep ahead of the bills and she was happy. She was happy about little things and big things and she taught her kids that they were important and valued and she was happy they were hers.
My favorite line in the movie--her pessimistic husband, who drank his way into the family's near ruin was criticising her for being happy--I should have made Phil back the DVD up so I could quote it exactly but she said something like: "I just want you to not ruin things when I am happy."
I've been thinking about the movie ever since. She was happy no matter what. We all have things we are sad about. Children we worry about, husbands who left us--mine hasn't but if I keep ordering grade B movies, maybe--diseases, deaths of loved ones, lost jobs, lost loves, lost lives--or so we think, bad hair, bad shoes, bad attitudes, etc. Why can't we be happy, like this woman was, anyway? Yes, we are sad about sad things but can't we be happy about little things, like she was?
The scripture, "Man is that he might have joy," keeps coming back to me, again and again. Our Heavenly Father wants us to have joy, to be joyful. Here. Now. Even with the tough times. We knew we were going to face tough times when we came here and yet we "shouted for joy" at the opportunity to come.
My wish for all of us today: for you, who are sad today, for you who are happy today, and for me, who might or might not be sad or happy today, is that we might find joy in our lives. Not when things get better, not when the trials are over, but right now. I wish we might have joy in our lives like the woman in this film.
Find something to be joyful about. You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you. That's a biggie, isn't it? That's worth a whole bucket, overflowing with joy, every day. What a miracle that we have that knowledge. He loves us, he watches over us. No, he does not stop the bad things from happening but he helps us to have the strength to live through them.
And he wants us to be happy.
And we will, won't we? Sure. We can do that. We can do anything because after all, we are children of Heavenly Father.
This movie was based on a true story of a woman who, with her wit, determination and writing ability, entered contests and won.
Early on, we see the milkman--we saw him a lot--telling her he couldn't deliver her milk because she couldn't pay. Just then the mailman brought the mail and she opened up an envelope that contained two dollars winnings from a contest she had entered. She paid the milkman and got her milk.
All through the movie she won things. A freezer, a Triumph car, which she had to sell but she sat in it a lot, enjoying it while she had it even though she didn't drive.
She even won a frenzied shopping trip where she loaded her cart with things like button mushrooms, caviar and capers, sides of bacon and steak. She rejoiced in each item and helped the kids rejoice in them too. They had a feast with all the things she had put in her cart but her disgruntled husband refused to join in the fun. He opened a can of spam and ate it cold out of the can.
What I liked most about the movie was that she was happy. She had ten kids and an alcoholic husband. She could barely keep ahead of the bills and she was happy. She was happy about little things and big things and she taught her kids that they were important and valued and she was happy they were hers. My favorite line in the movie--her pessimistic husband, who drank his way into the family's near ruin was criticising her for being happy--I should have made Phil back the DVD up so I could quote it exactly but she said something like: "I just want you to not ruin things when I am happy."
I've been thinking about the movie ever since. She was happy no matter what. We all have things we are sad about. Children we worry about, husbands who left us--mine hasn't but if I keep ordering grade B movies, maybe--diseases, deaths of loved ones, lost jobs, lost loves, lost lives--or so we think, bad hair, bad shoes, bad attitudes, etc. Why can't we be happy, like this woman was, anyway? Yes, we are sad about sad things but can't we be happy about little things, like she was?
The scripture, "Man is that he might have joy," keeps coming back to me, again and again. Our Heavenly Father wants us to have joy, to be joyful. Here. Now. Even with the tough times. We knew we were going to face tough times when we came here and yet we "shouted for joy" at the opportunity to come.
My wish for all of us today: for you, who are sad today, for you who are happy today, and for me, who might or might not be sad or happy today, is that we might find joy in our lives. Not when things get better, not when the trials are over, but right now. I wish we might have joy in our lives like the woman in this film.
Find something to be joyful about. You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you. That's a biggie, isn't it? That's worth a whole bucket, overflowing with joy, every day. What a miracle that we have that knowledge. He loves us, he watches over us. No, he does not stop the bad things from happening but he helps us to have the strength to live through them.
And he wants us to be happy.
And we will, won't we? Sure. We can do that. We can do anything because after all, we are children of Heavenly Father.
Friday, January 11, 2008
THE FROZEN PUDDLE
When I was a kid I could board the bus in one of three places. One block away, to the south (uphill, toward the mountain) at my cousin, Holly's house. One block away, to the east, by the church, or right in front of my house. If I boarded at Holly's, I got my choice of any seat I wanted. If I boarded by the church I got most any seat I wanted and if I boarded at my house I had to sit where I could find a seat. If I boarded early I could save a seat for Pam, my best friend and we could visit or read or giggle together all the way to school. At my house I had to sit with a surly boy or a haughty high school girl or wherever. I hated sitting with surly boys or haughty girls or whatevers. I would look back to see Pam sitting with someone she didn't want to sit by either. My bus stop choices affected her too.
But, I was a slow getter-upper. And I loved to stand over the heat vent in the kitchen and let my flannel nightgown fill with warm air. I would do this for a l-o-n-g time. Mother would say things like, "Are you watching the clock?" I never was. She did it for me.
Or, I was still in bed, which happened more often. She would call up the stairs a lie such as, "It's ten minutes to eight." I had a clock ten inches away and knew it was only 7:35. She wanted me to be on time and thought a little lie was necessary. And sometimes it was, as occasionally that call woke me up from a sound sleep after I had banged my alarm off and snuggled back down under warm covers.
One day--this was in grade school--I loitered in bed one minute too long--as usual--and missed the bus at Holly's. I took off for the church at a dead run, cleared the front porch steps in one leap and vaulted across the ditch. The fear of the surly and haughty gave my little legs extra oomph. In front of Lloyd Gleave's house there was always a puddle. This morning it was frozen, but I didn't notice. My heel struck the ice and down I went. I scrambled up, bare hands scraping dirty, rutted ice. I took off again, my unbuttoned coat flying behind me. I made the corner just as the bus screeched to a stop. I got on, found a seat and settled in, nursing my bleeding hands. When Pam got on I forgot all about them and we settled in to tell secrets, laugh and enjoy the warmth of friendship--there was no warmth on the bus and we could often see our breath--but the friendship was enough.
When I got home that night Mom told me the story of the tenderness of a mother. She watched from the door as I cleared the steps, jumped the ditch and then, her hands clutched to her chest, watched as I went down on the puddle. She had her hand on the door, pushing it open when I got up and took off again. She was going to go outside, gather me up, comfort me and tell me I didn't have to go to school. How glad I am that I was off and running before she got to me. I might have gloried in the sympathy, stayed home and been pampered. Instead I went to school and faced all the things that all school students face. Some good, some bad, all contributing to who I am.
I know some people have bad memories of their school years and I have my share. Friends who did underhanded things. Boys I had a crush on who didn't ask me out or boys I didn't like, who did. Teachers who ridiculed in front of the whole class--I had one high school teacher who did this--he actually hated me, I think--and the reason was because I deserved it.
I was a brat in his class. I was even a brat right to his face. I argued with him in front of everyone more than once and I think I went to the Principal's office over it, but more often than not he gritted his teeth and put up with my rudness.
I need to put those times behind me. Not forget, maybe, but forgive. Forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for being on the other end, being in power--or supposed power--and hurting someone else . I need to forgive myself for being rude or even for not doing my best, just sliding by and not caring that the teachers were trying to change my life for the better.
I really don't know why this all came out tonight but there it is. Since I can't apologize to all those who I hurt or disobeyed or dishonored I am confessing to you. I'm sorry. I hope I have been forgiven.
I hope your good memories overshadow your bad ones, like mine do. I hope you have forgiven others and yourself and are facing each new day with courage to get up from the frozen puddle and face life running, coattails flying, knowing that good things await.
But, I was a slow getter-upper. And I loved to stand over the heat vent in the kitchen and let my flannel nightgown fill with warm air. I would do this for a l-o-n-g time. Mother would say things like, "Are you watching the clock?" I never was. She did it for me.
Or, I was still in bed, which happened more often. She would call up the stairs a lie such as, "It's ten minutes to eight." I had a clock ten inches away and knew it was only 7:35. She wanted me to be on time and thought a little lie was necessary. And sometimes it was, as occasionally that call woke me up from a sound sleep after I had banged my alarm off and snuggled back down under warm covers.
One day--this was in grade school--I loitered in bed one minute too long--as usual--and missed the bus at Holly's. I took off for the church at a dead run, cleared the front porch steps in one leap and vaulted across the ditch. The fear of the surly and haughty gave my little legs extra oomph. In front of Lloyd Gleave's house there was always a puddle. This morning it was frozen, but I didn't notice. My heel struck the ice and down I went. I scrambled up, bare hands scraping dirty, rutted ice. I took off again, my unbuttoned coat flying behind me. I made the corner just as the bus screeched to a stop. I got on, found a seat and settled in, nursing my bleeding hands. When Pam got on I forgot all about them and we settled in to tell secrets, laugh and enjoy the warmth of friendship--there was no warmth on the bus and we could often see our breath--but the friendship was enough.
When I got home that night Mom told me the story of the tenderness of a mother. She watched from the door as I cleared the steps, jumped the ditch and then, her hands clutched to her chest, watched as I went down on the puddle. She had her hand on the door, pushing it open when I got up and took off again. She was going to go outside, gather me up, comfort me and tell me I didn't have to go to school. How glad I am that I was off and running before she got to me. I might have gloried in the sympathy, stayed home and been pampered. Instead I went to school and faced all the things that all school students face. Some good, some bad, all contributing to who I am.
I know some people have bad memories of their school years and I have my share. Friends who did underhanded things. Boys I had a crush on who didn't ask me out or boys I didn't like, who did. Teachers who ridiculed in front of the whole class--I had one high school teacher who did this--he actually hated me, I think--and the reason was because I deserved it.
I was a brat in his class. I was even a brat right to his face. I argued with him in front of everyone more than once and I think I went to the Principal's office over it, but more often than not he gritted his teeth and put up with my rudness.
I need to put those times behind me. Not forget, maybe, but forgive. Forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for being on the other end, being in power--or supposed power--and hurting someone else . I need to forgive myself for being rude or even for not doing my best, just sliding by and not caring that the teachers were trying to change my life for the better.
I really don't know why this all came out tonight but there it is. Since I can't apologize to all those who I hurt or disobeyed or dishonored I am confessing to you. I'm sorry. I hope I have been forgiven.
I hope your good memories overshadow your bad ones, like mine do. I hope you have forgiven others and yourself and are facing each new day with courage to get up from the frozen puddle and face life running, coattails flying, knowing that good things await.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
LIZA'S BAPTISM AND SOME RAMBLING
This is a picture of my granddaughter, who was baptized today. She is barefoot because by the time we got to her house, after the baptism, she had already changed out of her church clothes and I made her change back so I could take a picture. She looks like she's trying to be patient with me, doesn't she? She really wants to go play with her cousins.
Her Dad had changed too and I made him change back. I'm bossy that way.
He baptized and confirmed her a member of the church and gave her the gift of the Holy Ghost. I gave a talk on the Holy Ghost before the baptism. I tried to make it simple for her and another darling little boy who was being baptized too. It was a beautiful day for us and for Liza. I am so happy for her.
This is the backyard. I am so happy to learn how to download pictures that I take pictures of everything, except for my old self. This is the arbor that one of my other sons, Bentley and his new wife, Trisha, stood in front of at their wedding reception a year ago last August. It was so hot we thought we'd die and now look at it.
This last one I loved for no reason.
Have a great Sunday one and all. Thanks for stopping by and wading through my pictures and odd thoughts.
Her Dad had changed too and I made him change back. I'm bossy that way. He baptized and confirmed her a member of the church and gave her the gift of the Holy Ghost. I gave a talk on the Holy Ghost before the baptism. I tried to make it simple for her and another darling little boy who was being baptized too. It was a beautiful day for us and for Liza. I am so happy for her.
She will do well in this life. She is a sensitive little soul, very caring, very loving and a hard worker. And loved by her Daddy.
Here is my son, mugging for the camera with Phil. He's such a joker, my boy. As you can see, Phil loves it.
I'd show you the picture of me but, sadly, I look my age and it makes me ill so there will be no illness here today.
This is the backyard. I am so happy to learn how to download pictures that I take pictures of everything, except for my old self. This is the arbor that one of my other sons, Bentley and his new wife, Trisha, stood in front of at their wedding reception a year ago last August. It was so hot we thought we'd die and now look at it.
That's the way things are. You can hardly stand whatever you are going through, sometimes--not the wedding , it was a wonderful thing--but I'm speaking metaphorically here--I got off on this tangent remembering the heat at the reception.
So, you are going through a bad time, a hard trial, maybe, you are despondent and sad or anxious or however you experience tough times. I get a horrible anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and I imagine the worst. Then, six months later, you have gotten through that time and you look back and can think of it differently. I often am able to write about times of stress with humor, later--not that I'm successful at the humor but you know what I mean, at least I can see it differently. Some people can't. They never let go. They remember and are angry or sad or hurt or whatever it is that they feel justified about.
I am sad to have to admit that I am that way too with some things and wish I weren't. My birth dad got on a private plane in a blizzard when I wasn't quite two years old, with my mom pleading for him not to go. The plane crashed and she never saw him alive again. I have been living with that abandonment all my life. Angry at times, hurt at others, feeling like I was not important. I have got to learn to let it go. To realize that he, my birth father, has other responsibilities. One of them may be to watch over me, to whisper in my ear when I need help or comfort. Do I realize that? Now, as I'm writing this, I do, but not as I live my life, realizing I didn't know him, wasn't taught by him, didn't learn the things that he held dear.
Well, I had no idea this post was going this direction. Maybe I needed to think this through a bit. I really do need to let it go and not feel cheated. Mom did remarry and Daddy loved me with all his heart. He was a good father, he even taught me to drive my sister's Army jeep which is more than any father should have to do. That is another story for another time. What a dear, patient, Daddy he was.
Okay, enough of that. This is the arbor up close.
And Chloe, who lives outside and loves it. I wanted to take a picture of of Pinky--the cat--with Kate, the four-year-old, but Pinky was asleep on the arm of the couch and Kate somersaulted onto the couch and flipped Pinky, head over tail, right on the floor. Poor now-awake Pinky was frozen, wondering how he got to the floor. Walter, the pup was banned to Chloe's doghouse until all the company was gone so no pictures of him either.
This last one I loved for no reason.
Have a great Sunday one and all. Thanks for stopping by and wading through my pictures and odd thoughts.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
IT'S WEDNESDAY AND I RECEIVED A WEDNESDAY GIFT
Years ago, I started a tradition of giving my girls Wednesday gifts. Things that weren't big, just something fun or cute or useful, maybe even something as little as a heat resistant spatula for the kitchen or a lip gloss. I called them Wednesday gifts because for some reason the first few happened to be purchased or given on a Wednesday. They didn't get a gift every Wednesday or even one Wednesday a month, just whenever.
My girls have even given me Wednesday gifts. What fun for me. And today, my neighbor, Cindy, gave me a Wednesday gift. The cutest Santa you ever saw. (I MUST learn how to post pictures.) Plus a book. How lucky am I? Not that getting gifts is lucky but having Cindy for a friend, who know exactly what would surprise and please me and then making sure it came on a Wednesday--that's lucky. I have such a good friend, within spitting distance, (that is if I spit or if she did. I don't. Well, not when anyone is looking and I'm pretty sure she doesn't spit, even if nobody ever looked. She's that kind of non-spitting girl.)
Anyway, I have lots of Wednesday friends, people who give to me just because. They send me emails. How I love emails. They call me on the phone. They stop by. That has got to be my favorite kind of a friend, the stopping-by ones. People that know they are welcome at any hour of the day or night. They stop by just because. Last Christmas two friends stopped by, one because I had said in an email that I was in a major meltdown and the other one just knew something was wrong. I'm sure it was the whispering of the Holy Ghost that told her I needed her. They both held my hands and told me everything would be all right. They were both here at the same time and I will never forget that day and my two good friends if I live to be one hundred.
Come to think of it, as I read other people's blogs, look at their photographs, glimpse into their lives, laugh or are awed by the tough things they go through, the loneliness, the illness, the worry over children or other family members and all those things are a gift to me, on a Wednesday or any other day. I see strength that I want in my own life, I see compassion and I see humor. There are some incredible funny people out there. Some can make me laugh with one line, others have me laughing paragraph after paragraph.
Many gifts for me today. This Wednesday. Thank you, my dear friend, Cindy and my other friends. Seen and unseen. Those of you within spitting distance and those from the nether parts. I wish I had a Wednesday gift for each of you but since I don't please know that I appreciate you and wish you well, this Wednesday.
My girls have even given me Wednesday gifts. What fun for me. And today, my neighbor, Cindy, gave me a Wednesday gift. The cutest Santa you ever saw. (I MUST learn how to post pictures.) Plus a book. How lucky am I? Not that getting gifts is lucky but having Cindy for a friend, who know exactly what would surprise and please me and then making sure it came on a Wednesday--that's lucky. I have such a good friend, within spitting distance, (that is if I spit or if she did. I don't. Well, not when anyone is looking and I'm pretty sure she doesn't spit, even if nobody ever looked. She's that kind of non-spitting girl.)
Anyway, I have lots of Wednesday friends, people who give to me just because. They send me emails. How I love emails. They call me on the phone. They stop by. That has got to be my favorite kind of a friend, the stopping-by ones. People that know they are welcome at any hour of the day or night. They stop by just because. Last Christmas two friends stopped by, one because I had said in an email that I was in a major meltdown and the other one just knew something was wrong. I'm sure it was the whispering of the Holy Ghost that told her I needed her. They both held my hands and told me everything would be all right. They were both here at the same time and I will never forget that day and my two good friends if I live to be one hundred.
Come to think of it, as I read other people's blogs, look at their photographs, glimpse into their lives, laugh or are awed by the tough things they go through, the loneliness, the illness, the worry over children or other family members and all those things are a gift to me, on a Wednesday or any other day. I see strength that I want in my own life, I see compassion and I see humor. There are some incredible funny people out there. Some can make me laugh with one line, others have me laughing paragraph after paragraph.
Many gifts for me today. This Wednesday. Thank you, my dear friend, Cindy and my other friends. Seen and unseen. Those of you within spitting distance and those from the nether parts. I wish I had a Wednesday gift for each of you but since I don't please know that I appreciate you and wish you well, this Wednesday.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
A FEW IMPORTANT THINGS
Yesterday my sister, Julie--who has pneumonia and shouldn't be going anywhere--her daughter, Lezlie, Lezlie's daughter Megan--the fantastic ice dancer--and Adrienne--whose name I may have misspelled--Julie's daughter-in-law came to see us. What fun that was. Everyone but Julie lives in the East so I don’t get to see them very often. Lezlie brought me a very fat, large ceramic frog for my birthday. She used to tell me a Big Mouthed Frog joke when she was a kid and her little face was hysterical—she was very dramatic. I loved to hear her tell the joke and loved her. And still do. So that's one thing, family--immediate family and extended family--is important.
Today, in Relief Society, our RS president, Joan, who lives across the street, gave a great lesson on gratitude. She had us list all the things we were grateful for and the whole list consisted of good things--easy things--nice things. After she was finished it was time for testimony meeting and the last person who bore her testimony talked about trials and how no matter how difficult life gets it will be all right. I wish I could remember what she said word for word. Trials, that make us stronger, bring us closer to the Lord, humble us and make us appreciative--now that's something to be grateful for and it's mega-important. Her words to remember: “It’s going to be all right.”
Patty, one of the sisters in the audience said that if you have gratitude the devil has no power to bring you down into depression. She didn’t say it exactly like that but that’s what my little ears heard and I’m choosing to believe it. So, I’m going to start a gratitude list and hope to be less tempted and less willing to follow the road of least resistance and hope I won’t buy into the doom and gloom as often.
And lastly, lemon meringue pie is important. My husband brought me one on Friday as a surprise and I told him I should learn to make lemon meringue pie but he said, "Don't worry about it, we only eat lemon meringue pie about once a year," and he's right. So, that's something I don't have to worry about and having one less thing to worry about is nice. And important.
Today, in Relief Society, our RS president, Joan, who lives across the street, gave a great lesson on gratitude. She had us list all the things we were grateful for and the whole list consisted of good things--easy things--nice things. After she was finished it was time for testimony meeting and the last person who bore her testimony talked about trials and how no matter how difficult life gets it will be all right. I wish I could remember what she said word for word. Trials, that make us stronger, bring us closer to the Lord, humble us and make us appreciative--now that's something to be grateful for and it's mega-important. Her words to remember: “It’s going to be all right.”
Patty, one of the sisters in the audience said that if you have gratitude the devil has no power to bring you down into depression. She didn’t say it exactly like that but that’s what my little ears heard and I’m choosing to believe it. So, I’m going to start a gratitude list and hope to be less tempted and less willing to follow the road of least resistance and hope I won’t buy into the doom and gloom as often.
And lastly, lemon meringue pie is important. My husband brought me one on Friday as a surprise and I told him I should learn to make lemon meringue pie but he said, "Don't worry about it, we only eat lemon meringue pie about once a year," and he's right. So, that's something I don't have to worry about and having one less thing to worry about is nice. And important.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
