LIFE ISN'T FAIR

Life isn't fair, is it? But, as I was once told, I wasn't the one who will be judging what is fair, that is up to God.

But in the meantime, I have a few things I'm currently grumbling about.

One of my son's lost his job. This was after he was offered a job last year by another company and his employer matched the offer because, "We don't want to lose you." Now, I ask you, in what universe is this fair?

I ate a bunch of Halloween candy--don't ask. Those in my strictest confidence know and they will not tell, not even if threatened with death--okay, maybe they will tell if threatened with death, so I will fess up so they won't have to. It was a lot. And now, the pants that were getting too loose to be comfortable TWO WEEKS AGO! are now too tight to be comfortable. Now this is not fair. What nation has a holiday where people are supposed to spend a horribly large amount of money on something that is bad for children, and then the kids ring the bloomin' doorbell until the people inside would like to tear their hair out, and so in anticipation of the future frustration one of the future frustrated people eats the candy before the kids have a chance to beg for it? Not fair, I tell you. The kids should beg for toothbrushes and pencils and apples. (I hated people who gave toothbrushes and pencils and apples when I was a child and so did my kids. One of them, and maybe more, are still holding "pencil" grudges.)

In what universe is insomnia a good idea? Not this one. When I have it I feel guilty and when my child has it I feel guilty for passing on the gene--along with the underarm perspiration gene. How is that fair?

Beauty is a wonderful thing but at a certain age--obviously the exact age I reached three days ago--it is gone. Not only is it gone but in it's place are things that obviously belong to dogs like droopy eyes and Shar-Pei wrinkles and chin hairs and whiskers and gas and... I'm telling you, it's not fair. Old age is bad enough, how is becoming ugly going to make it easier? (Are you listening from Heaven, Mom? I'm sorry I said your wrinkles were beautiful and that your alligator skin on your arms was interesting and I'm sorry for the fun I had with the skin on your hands that I pinched and pulled up to watch it not return to where it belonged for thirty seconds...well, Mom I'm really sorry. I hope you look like you did when you were twenty and the most beautiful woman alive. I've seen your photos, I know it's true.) Anyway, how is all that stuff that happens to women fair? Especially when men's wrinkles (if they even have them) just make them interesting and grey hair is sexy and no hair at all is sexy too? What bald man is given a second look because he is bald? But if a woman is bald we will walk backwards for half a block gawking at her. Not fair, I tell you.

There are a plethora of other things that are not fair today but since it is already tomorrow and that means the insomnia gene has kicked in I'm going upstairs to wash my ugly face and brush out my thinning hair and take off my too tight jeans and worry about my son and then I will say my prayers and be thankful for all my blessings and realize that there are many.

Until next time. May old age never, EVER catch you. I'll try to hog-tie it and keep it here but because I suspect I'm getting a bit of arthritis in my hands and don't have the strength I used to, I'm not promising anything. You better run. I'll tell old age you went the other way.