THE PERFECT PUT DOWN

There is a man in our ward--I'm going to call him Glen--who is really accomplished in his career. He was known all over the nation as the outstanding Athletic Director for BYU. After he retired, another college--that was having major problems--had him come and serve as their athletic director for a couple of years. He did, and when he got things running smoothly he retired again.

Anyway, what I am getting to is Glen has credentials and achievements a mile long. Not just as Athletic Directors. He had done "stuff." Every summer, when his kids were young, he would take the whole family in the car and they would drive for most of the summer, as he had speaking commitments all over the nation.

Recently he was asked to give a speech and he asked the person in charge what he wanted him to talk about.

"You should take a couple of minutes at the beginning and tell about all your accomplishments."

"Well now, how will I ever be able to do that?" Glen joked.

"Just talk real slow."

I HAVE A BRILLIANT NIECE

My brilliant niece with her granddaughter--who has Oreo-teeth--at a party thrown for Lezlie's parents (my sister and brother-in-law) celebrating fifty years of marriage.

My niece, Lezlie, took her boy to BYU Idaho to start school this last week. They were standing in line for him to get his ID photo taken. When it was finally his turn the woman in charge said something like, "His hair is too long. It touches his ears. You will have to take him to a barber and come back."

(BYU rules are very strict. The kids have to sign a moral code and there are dress and grooming standards. If the kids want to go to school there they live by the rules.)

~~Now, if you ever get a chance to meet Lezlie you are in for a great experience. She is quick. Quick witted. Quick to do everything--she graduated from college and had her first baby when she was twenty--or maybe she was nineteen and turning twenty that year, I can't remember for sure. She graduated in Journalism but raised a family of six instead of going to the TV studio every day. She has written ten books (and more under contract) for children. She is a love--I am enchanted by her. She sparkles, she grins, she teases, she is a deep thinker and works hard at everything she does. She has taught each one of her children to hold to the standards of their religion and they are all smart and savvy. They will all make major contributions to the world.~~

So, when that woman said the words "barber" and "come back," and Lezlie and Daniel had already stood in that line FOR EVER Lezlie wasn't buying it.

"Do you have a pair of scissors?" she asked the woman. I'm sure she used her innocent-I-need-help face. When you see that face you would do anything for her.

"I think so," the woman said, digging through her stuff. You know about women's "stuff." There could be anything inside the depths of a woman's purse. She produced a pair of scissors, which Lezlie borrowed and in a minute or two Daniel was up to the grooming standards, got his photo ID taken and hopefully will have realized that he has a pretty smart mom.

Now, if that had been me I would have drug my child to the barber, got back in the l-o-n-g line and missed my plane. And that is why I am a mother of old children who know how to handle their lives and sometimes mine too. Bless all of our little cotton socks.

Long live young mothers who know what to do and how to do it.

PS If Lezlie couldn't have found scissors she would probably have gnawed his hair off because, after all, she's clever and WAS NOT GOING TO THE END OF THE LINE. You should buy her books for your wee ones. I tell you, she's brilliant.

BEING AN EXAMPLE AT WOMEN'S CONFERENCE

On Thursday and Friday I went to Women's Conference on the BYU campus. One day I was standing in line for the diet and exercise class at the Conference Center.

The women in front of me were eating their lunches. One was eating carrot sticks and the other was eating cucumber slices. I was eating Chili Cheese Frito's.

I try to be an example for others at all times and in all places. A bad example but the key word is "example" and I'm it.

MARK WON SECOND PLACE IN THE STATE SCIENCE FAIR

This is our grandson, Mark. His science fair project made it to state--held at the conference center at BYU.

He measured solar panel's collecting power by how they were positioned. It was more technical than that. I'm a non technical woman. Mechanical things rust out and quit working in my presence. Cars stall--but first they make funny noises that no man has heard before. Then they stall and have to be towed. Cars never stall or make funny noises for Phil. Mark will probably lead a charmed life, like Phil, because he might know what to do when cars make funny noises and stall and cars simply can't stand anyone knowing what to do. That's why they pick on me. Mark will be a genius of car noises and stalling problems, I just know it. Cars will stall for his wife. That's how it goes.

He found that it does make a difference how the solar panels are positioned! And when asked if he would install solar panels he said if they didn't cost so much he would.

Some of his important wires and measuring stuff. Way too technical for his grandma. I'll bet some of this stuff came right from under the hood of a woman's stalled car, right after it made funny noises.

Here he is conducting his experiments.

And indeed he was not only considered but he took second place in his division, which was: Physical Science--Physics. Congratulations Mark!

Mark is telling his grandpa something very important. I'm not sure his grandpa could hear over the noise of all those kids. They had neat things for the kids to do when they weren't manning their exhibits. Rock climbing, a magician, and here Mark is waiting in line for the Flight Simulator. When asked if he wanted to be a pilot after "flying" a plane he just shrugged his shoulders.

Congratulations to Mark who is redefining reality.

And besides all the technical stuff he's a nice kid and his grandpa and I adore him. Who wouldn't?

Maybe he will put himself through college by installing solar panels, who knows? Or maybe he will be able to diagnose car problems just by listening to the funny noises. That could make him rich.

BUNKO AT THE BISHOP'S HOUSE

We went to the bishop's house tonight for Family Home Evening. They had "Family Home Evening, group two" of the BYU ward coming but only nine could come instead of the eighteen that are in the group. The bishop started off by saying the church likes to instruct, inspire and teach but that they weren't going to do any of that tonight. And then we played Bunko. Both Phil and I won prizes, which we gave away. A package of Oreos and the DVD "Dark Knight." (We have "Sherlock Holmes Smarter Brother," with Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman at home--from Netflix--, waiting to be watched and how can you compete with that with Dark Knight?)

It is a nice place to be, in the Bishop's home. His wife is fun and has a darling laugh which she is generous with. They have a HUGE golden Lab, Sonic, that is one of the family. They gave him a large rawhide bone at the beginning of the evening and by the time we left there was only a little nubbins left.

They ordered pizzas from Brick Oven, my favorite restaurant on planet Earth, and then had chips and salsa and after the games, banana splits. They send all the leftover food home with the kids.

They are a good example for me--this bishop, who loves the kids so much and his wife who loves them too. Their life is good, they have had their share of trouble, maybe more than their share but they don't complain. They laugh and joke with each other and you can tell their commitment to the Savior and to each other is deep and real. They strenghten me. Bunko and all.

SOME EXCELLENT THINGS

1. A young man from a Podunk town in Oregon who is scared to death, but has come to Provo to go to BYU anyway. I hope he does well.

2. Going to the movies--Kung Fu Panda today--with some of my excellent grandkids. Very cute movie and very cute kids.

3. Remembering that Gilmore Girl used to call our Oriental acupuncturist Kung Pao Chicken.

4. Having a story already written for my personal history group and not having to stay up late writing.

5. Having email friends. One is on the run for stealing two steak knives thirty years ago when he was just a young sprout--I've vowed I don't know him but I don't know...if I'm put under the lights I may fess up. Another email friend decided instead of thinking of all the things she wants to change she will think of some things that are excellent as they are. She is the inspiration for this post. Still another email friend sends encouraging words--even from where the deer and the antelope play. She would know that because she's been on the range and everywhere else that her husband, Columbus can drive. And my erratic emailing daughter, Gilmore Girl who will not write a blog and only sends me pithy one-liner emails and I have to call her a Cheeky Monkey. There's a lot of that Cheeky Monkey-ness going around this week, it seems. And last, but not least, a funny friend from the land up north who walked into a pole one day and has never been the same, which is all right by me because she is funny and optimistic and hard working and did I mention funny?

6. Having a husband who eats forty-'leven times a day and stays at his pre-marriage weight. It gives me someone to grumble about and, as we all know, everyone feels better after a good grumble. Thank you Honey for the reason I feel better forty-'leven times a day, multiplied by 365 plus one for leap year.

7. Sleep.

8. Cold weather today, but only if it gets hot again tomorrow.

9. Rain.

10. Toenail polish, which will soon be covered up with socks but it will be there, all winter, anyway. And fingernail polish too, which I am wearing every day for a month until I get sick of having to re-do my nails every two days.

That's it for today. Ten excellent things that I don't need to worry about trying to change.

THE MIRACLE OF THE SLEEP-OVER SISTER

Let me tell you about a miracle that my sister, Julie, participated in. Actually she was the star, she was the rescuer, she prevented tragedy.

This happened years ago. Her daughter was in college here at BYU. My kids were young; Her Excellency of Mousehole wasn’t even born yet. I was an overwhelmed young mother. I wasn’t one of those women who run a perfectly organized home with gourmet meals. Oh, wait. I did pretty well in the meal department. You could set the clock when I called the family for dinner and they were delicious--the meals were delicious, not the family. But, then again, who can resist a baby or a toddler or even a child, and on occasion, a husband? So maybe the family was delicious, too.

I was overwhelmed one week and I had prayed for help. I remember actually saying the words, “Heavenly Father, please send me some help!” I had no idea where it was going to come from.

My sister showed up on my doorstep the next day. She lived forty miles away and this was a rare occurrence for her to just show up.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

It was the middle of the winter, driving from Salt Lake to Provo is sometimes a challenge in the winter and that particular day was overcast and snow was predicted.

“I don’t know. I just felt like it,” she said.

I think the Holy Ghost whispered to her and she listened.

“I want you and Lezlie to go to a movie,” she said. “I’ll go home late this afternoon.”

“I can’t do that," I said. "You and Lezlie go to a movie.”

“Nope,” she said. “I’m staying here. I’ll watch the kids and tidy up a little.” She was insistent and forceful. She’s an older sister and so “insistent and forceful” come naturally to her.

So, Lezlie was called and she and I went to the movie. I don’t remember what we saw. I do remember we laughed and laughed. I have always had a loving relationship with Lezlie. She’s funny, and whatever she does I think it great. (Go here and see her books.)

When we got back, Julie had cleaned my house and taken care of the kids and then said, “It looks like snow. I think I’ll just stay the night. I’ll just sleep right here on the couch.”

Julie still had kids at home. I don't know who took care of them while she was at my house or who was going to get them off to school the next morning. This is one of the details that make this miracle--well, miraculous, that things were being taken care of at home. Maybe Gordon was a willing participant in the miracle.

And no one in her right mind wants to sleep on a couch but she was insistent and forceful and I was the younger sister. I was used to her deciding things. We had a whole lifetime-history of her deciding things, so I agreed. We stayed up and talked for a while. It was so nice to have her to myself, that didn't happen often. We finally made a bed with sheets and blankets on the couch and she said, “I’ll be fine.”

The next morning, when I got up, Taylor was sleeping with her. “Why is Taylor sleeping here? The couch wasn’t uncomfortable enough, you had to add a child?”

“Well, it was a funny thing,” she said. “It was the middle of the night and I heard something. I looked up and Taylor was on his way to the front door. I think he was going to go outside.”

Taylor had been sick and sometimes he sleepwalked when he was sick.

“So, I said to him,” she said, “‘Where are you going, Taylor-bug?’ but he didn’t answer, he just continued toward the door so I grabbed him and snuggled him down and he went right to sleep.”

It had snowed earlier that evening and was bitter cold. The possibility that she saved Taylor’s life was a real possibility. I don’t think either one of us realized it at the time but as all the miracles in my life, the realization that the hand of the Lord was watching over my family, came later.

How grateful I am to my sister, Julie, for preventing a tragedy in our family’s life. She didn’t know why she came. She gave me a break and sent me to the movie with Lezlie. She helped with housework that was overwhelming. She saved Taylor's life.

Three miracles. I had prayed for some help and help came, and for something I didn’t even know I was going to need help with. But someone did and sent Julie.

WRITING AND ILLUSTRATING FOR YOUNG READERS CONFERENCE

I had a meeting yesterday about the BYU Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Workshop/Conference, June 16th--21st, here in Provo. Information here for those who want to come and learn from some fantastic writers and a great illustrator. I will be Sally Warner's conference assistant.

The conference is well run, the author's and illustrator are excellent. An agent and a couple of editors attend, top notch ones. The morning is spent with the author, learning and being critiqued on your novel or picture book or whatever you are working on--I guess I better get some serious work done soon. The afternoons are spent in breakout sessions with the authors, illustrator, editors or agent. Those afternoon sessions are unbelievably good. Some people just come for the afternoon.

I should get serious. Quit fiddling around, trying to decide if I want to write from an adults point of view, looking back, a kids first person POV or a third person POV. What to do, what to do. I should also realize that I'm really not a great writer but what else would I do with my life at this point? Knit? Cook? Phil would like that and I've been doing a fair amount.

Actually I do spend an insane amount of time on the lawn swings, visiting with friends and with Phil, and with my family but I'm going to laughingly call it research and quit feeling guilty about it. Research is good, right? So what if it's never productive research? Never research that would lead to a book? It's good to have a hobby. I just don't know if writing is my hobby or if visiting with my friends and family is. Or am I totally committed to be a time waster and the lawn swings are my vehicle to participate in the wasting of it?

MORE COOL PHOTOS

This morning I had to take Phil to BYU--he is the ward clerk of one of the student wards--because we only have one car at the moment and I did not want to walk to Stake Conference. We can go to Stake Conference at our ward house and watch it on a big screen but I still didn't want to walk. I'm lazy that way.

So, since we had a light dusting of snow last night I decided to try for a few more pictures of the horse barn. Some of them are really blurry, they were taken from the car--I know, you'd think I could at least get out but it was COLD and it was early and I had been dragged out of bed.

Okay, I hadn't really been dragged out of bed but I had gone back to sleep after Phil woke me up and so when he was ready to leave and I wasn't downstairs with my keys jangling he came upstairs to see why. He woke me up out of a sound sleep and it felt like I was dragged out of bed. It was so warm and comfy in my bed and I was so wonderully asleep. You know how it is.

Anyway, after I jumped straight in the air and stayed suspended for a full second and then bounced off the bed, threw on some clothes and took him to BYU I decided to look for some fascinating details at the barn. Look at how the fence is held together. The man who has horses here is an interesting fellow. If it can be held together with no cost he will make it work.

And this corner shot. An engineering marvel.

I love the image of the old pipes, or maybe they are new pipes, waiting for the subdivision to begin. Note the bailing twine, holding the fence together.

A horse came out of the barn to have a look around.

He announced to the world that it was time to be up and around.

But it was even too early for him so he shuffled back into the barn for a snooze.

And that was the extent of my early morning, blurry picture taking trek. I did not go back to bed when I got home either. How naughty of you to think that of me. I made spaghetti sauce and put it in a crockpot and then I got on the Internet to check out a few blogs. When I looked at the clock...well, you know how it is when you are reading blogs! Time just gets away from you. I had to really scramble to get showered and at the church house on time. When I passed the horse barn the horse was still inside, having his nap. Sensible horse.

And the spaghetti sauce was delicious. As was the chocolate cake. Mmm. Sunday dinner is not always this planned out but today's was nice. And I had time for a nap. What more could you ask of a Sunday? Good messages at church, a good dinner with people you love--even if there were just three of us--and a few blurry pictures.