BEING A REASONABLE ADULT

I kind of pride myself on being a reasonable adult. For instance, when my oldest child was little I wanted him to learn the proper names for things. I wanted him to have perfect grammar. I wanted to be the kind of a mother he deserved so there were no nicknames for anything.

When he was two we left him with a baby sitter while we went to the National Homebuilding show in Texas. We were gone five or six days. When we came home his life had been changed. He had newly acquired names for everything. The first one was "jammies." They had always been pajamas--the proper name. No more. Farewell, proper names for everything. So much for being a responsible adult.

Today I went to Weight Watchers. (Not that I'm following their diet, exactly. What I'm really doing is following Jorge Cruise's diet--the Belly Fat Cure. But, by Sunday I wanted sugar--this diet allows NO sugar. Well, 15 grams a day. That equals no sugar. So, I didn't do as well as I could have because, on Sunday, I had more carbs than I'm allowed and there was sugar in the vegan pepper steak--which was goood. So I was over my carbs and sugar, by a lot. I thought I would have gained but I lost three point something pounds.) Now, I ask you, is that something a reasonable adult would do, go to Weight Watchers but not follow their diet?

After Weight Watchers I went to DI (Deseret Industries--like Goodwill.) And I looked at clothes because my shirts are getting too big. And I found a bunch for anywhere from one to three dollars so I took them to the counter. Guess who left her credit card, drivers licence and all things important in her church bag? They wouldn't let me write a check without ID. So I had to come home and then go back.

When I was home Phil asked me what I was buying at DI. Then he said, "You're buying USED clothes?" as if I were doing something unreasonable, like rob a bank or try to sew something--anything--even a straight seam. Don't ask. I have been known to sew things together--like the item on the sewing machine and the clothes I'm wearing at the time. It's very embarassing to wear extra clothing, hanging off your shirt. The "picker-outer" is my best friend. Or was, when I sewed. I now do the reasonable thing and leave that chore to someone without a handful of thumbs.

"No, Phil, I'm buying new ones from the DI factory." Note to self: husband does not appreciate snide remarks. He might even think you are childish and not a responsible adult at all.

Leaving all my important stuff in my church bag, including my driver's license and then speeding to make the green (yellow--turning to red) light and making illegal lane changes. Is that reasonable?

And, really, who used to wear those clothes I bought? I think the reasonable thing to do is not to think about it, don't you? (They were washed and disinfected, weren't they? Say yes, say yes.)

I knew I was a reasonable adult all along. And, Trent, they are pajamas, and you ought to tell your kids that, just in case they have some other plebeian name for them. It's the reasonable thing to do.