Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts

Monday, February 11, 2008

10 REASONS I AM NOT JEALOUS THAT MY FRIENDS ARE IN FLORIDA AND HAWAII

1. Sand in underwear is bothersome.

2. Melting Popsicles are sticky. I hate sticky. I am always sticky, even when there is no sticky available, I manage to get sticky. My youngest darling daughter, Her Excellency--full name Her Excellency of Mousehole--calls me "Jam Hands." I do not think it is a term of endearment.


3. I hate hot. I hate cold, too. I am Goldilocks' sister. I want it "just right." If Hawaii is just right don't tell me because I am here, being a daughter of NanNook of the North and am happy, sitting in front of the fireplace.

4. After eating cake--see yesterday's post--I would not be caught dead in a swimming suit. Omar no longer makes swimming suits or I might reconsider.

5. My friend in Florida went to a giant flea market today. I can never pass up a bargain so I might have come home with a few giant fleas and I don't like being itchy.

6. My nephew, his very pregnant wife and his three kids live in Hawaii in student housing in a 500 freaking square foot apartment. If I were in Hawaii I would want to go there and see them and I would take up more square feet than they can spare.

7. I'm allergic to loud shirts.


8. I live in a desert, humidity makes me nervous. And sweaty. Very dripping sweaty.

9. I was on the jellyfish committee in Heaven and every time I go to an aquarium and see them I am amazed at their beauty and am so glad I was on the jellyfish committee. And then I remember they have no brain. And then it explains many things about myself.

10. If a volcano erupts where do you run? Onto the water? I live on a fault line and am not as frightened of an earthquake as I am of lava with no place to run.



And so, today, anticipating fifty degrees tomorrow, which will wreak havoc with all the "fridge things"--like sauerkraut, relish, oranges and grapefruit--stored in the garage, but will make my soul sing, and looking forward to another big snow storm on Wednesday, I am happy to be living in Utah and not Florida or Hawaii.