SIX WORDS FOR EMBARRASSING MOMENT--BABY JESUS

Let me ignore your religious beliefs.

EMBARRASSING MOMENT NUMBER ONE--THE SLITHERING SLIP

I've decided, in an effort to help you all realize how superior you are, I will start putting my embarrassing moments here in black and white. I'm nice, like that. You should all tell me how nice I am in the "comments section" so I will be able to bask in your appreciation and FORGET SOMETHING TOTALLY EMBARRASSING HAPPENED TO ME.

At church Sunday, after all the meetings were over, I was locking the Relief Society closet when my slip slithered to my ankles. There were still women in the Relief Society room, in fact they were sitting not three feet away from me and my slithering-ness. I didn't know what to do, but finally just stepped out of the slip, reached down and picked it up. There were eyebrow's raising, I can tell you. I laughed, in a nervous sort of way, and another woman said, "I used to pin my pantyhose to my bra so they wouldn't fall down under my pregnant tummy."

Then I didn't know if I should be relieved that she was so accepting of my slithering or if I should be offended that she maybe thought I looked like someone who was pregnant and should have pinned her slip to her bra. But, let's face it, the bra is closer to Mother Earth than I want it to be and a slithering slip would just make things worse; there will be no pinning.

I decided I would place no judgment on her comment as the slithering slip was judgment enough. I stuffed my slip in my church bag, told them all goodbye, walked to the door, turned the lights off and left. Then the joke was on them.