TODAY I SHOULD BE BURIED ALREADY SO I CHANGED MY ATTITUDE AND NOW I'LL NEVER DIE. ALMOST.

I checked the Death Clock website today and found that I should have died on my birthday this year. I had zero days to live, in fact, I should be mouldering in my grave.

So I changed my outlook from "pessimistic" to "optimistic" and found that I have loads of time left. I'm going to live to be 101, three months and ten days.* Who knew that happy, cheerful people live longer?

So, then I decided to loose a whole bunch of weight--theoretically--and I am supposed to die sooner. Ten years sooner.

If I am a pessimist and thin I should be dead already.

If I am a sadist and thin I should have been dead twenty-four years ago.

The conclusion: Optimistic, fat people live the longest.

I hope this makes your day.


*I have a feeling my first "optimistic" statistics are somehow skewed but I am not redoing them. Since I've decided to be an optimist, I'm believing it. Why not? It could happen. Yup, that's how us optimists think.

"An optimist is the human personification of spring." (Susan J. Bissonette)