DREADLOCKS, Part two

Her Excellency of Mousehole has/is everything I wish I had/were. She is five foot two, petite, beautiful and writes like someone who was born with a pencil and a notebook in her little infant hand. She is funny, smarter than anyone deserves to be and has the most gorgeous dark brown hair—wavy dark brown hair that tumbles down her back like warm chocolate.

What does my sweet girl do? She dreadlocks her hair. She makes her lovely hair—hair that I would walk through cacti for—into nappy, ratty dreadlocks.

What is it with my son, Lord Bumhampton and my daughter, Her Excellency?

Her Excellency's boyfriend, Boarder, had dreadlocks too. On Saturday they cut them off. His hair is short and looks great, he looks like a movie star. She looks like a movie star too.

A movie star with a Mohawk.

Go away, Mother. I do not want my picture taken.


Oh, all right, here you go.

Hee hee, your readers, all five of them, will be shocked to see that, huh?

Can we go now? Oh, and by the way, I love you. (I'm sure she meant to say that. I'm really sure.)

I love you, too.

THE FIVE MEOWING LOANERS

These kittens belong to Dyna, who belongs to my youngest Darling Daughter, Her Excellency of Mousehole, who has "loaned" them to us until she can find an apartment that lets her have pets. Good luck with that one, I'm thinking.

I also loaned my digital camera to Her Excellency and so this picture was taken in the car on the way home and the kittens have already grown in the two days we've had them but obviously, I can't show you that. The Hershey's Syrup box is prophetic, I think--sweet baby kittens.

I also can't show you Dyna; the She Devil Momma Cat who both growls and rubs against my leg when I go in the room where she has the kittens nestled in a closet.

Dyna, the She Devil Momma Cat is a beautiful little cat that hisses, growls and chuffs if Pika or Minkey come anywhere near. She also bring out her claws and chases toward them. Pika usually stands her ground; she is such a gentle cat that she simply cannot understand anyone not wanting to be friends.

Minkey, on the other hand turns tail and runs like a streak of burning cinders. As well he should. Dyna is not to be messed with.

When I come to visit Dyna growls and rubs against my leg all at the same time. She climbs on my lap the minute I sit down and then pushes her head into my hand. She purrs but keeps her eyes on the door at all times and if she hears one tiny sound she growls, hisses and is off my lap and in the closet in a nanosecond.

I'll keep you posted with new pictures as soon as Her Excellency bring the camera home. I know she will because I have five furry hostages.

10 REASONS I AM NOT JEALOUS THAT MY FRIENDS ARE IN FLORIDA AND HAWAII

1. Sand in underwear is bothersome.

2. Melting Popsicles are sticky. I hate sticky. I am always sticky, even when there is no sticky available, I manage to get sticky. My youngest darling daughter, Her Excellency--full name Her Excellency of Mousehole--calls me "Jam Hands." I do not think it is a term of endearment.

3. I hate hot. I hate cold, too. I am Goldilocks' sister. I want it "just right." If Hawaii is just right don't tell me because I am here, being a daughter of NanNook of the North and am happy, sitting in front of the fireplace.

4. After eating cake--see yesterday's post--I would not be caught dead in a swimming suit. Omar no longer makes swimming suits or I might reconsider.

5. My friend in Florida went to a giant flea market today. I can never pass up a bargain so I might have come home with a few giant fleas and I don't like being itchy.

6. My nephew, his very pregnant wife and his three kids live in Hawaii in student housing in a 500 freaking square foot apartment. If I were in Hawaii I would want to go there and see them and I would take up more square feet than they can spare.

7. I'm allergic to loud shirts.

8. I live in a desert, humidity makes me nervous. And sweaty. Very dripping sweaty.

9. I was on the jellyfish committee in Heaven and every time I go to an aquarium and see them I am amazed at their beauty and am so glad I was on the jellyfish committee. And then I remember they have no brain. And then it explains many things about myself.

10. If a volcano erupts where do you run? Onto the water? I live on a fault line and am not as frightened of an earthquake as I am of lava with no place to run.



And so, today, anticipating fifty degrees tomorrow, which will wreak havoc with all the "fridge things"--like sauerkraut, relish, oranges and grapefruit--stored in the garage, but will make my soul sing, and looking forward to another big snow storm on Wednesday, I am happy to be living in Utah and not Florida or Hawaii.