Showing posts with label candy bar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label candy bar. Show all posts

Sunday, August 30, 2009

A BLOG ABOUT NOTHING. AGAIN.


I have decided that in yesterday's post I should have written "melty tastiness," not "melty goodness"--as in "good for you." I don't want to deceive anyone about the nutritional value of candy bars. Just wanted to set the record straight.

Lasagna and salad and French bread--that is my all time favorite meal. Today, before leaving for church, I put together a lasagna and left a note for Phil to put it in the oven after he got home from his BYU ward. I walked into the house to the most heavenly smell.

A salad made with fresh cucumbers and fresh tomatoes from the garden can go from good to wonderful if you put a bunch of marinated artichoke hearts on it. If you live anywhere near BYU's Creamery on 9th and can get their ranch dressing it takes that salad from wonderful to fantastic. Just sayin' in case you live close. If you don't live close, forget I said that part.

It doesn't matter how old you get, you still want the best for your children and you still think of them as children, not as men or women. They were, and always will be, your precious little ones.

If we could be a nation of strong families, we would be a strong nation. We must do what we can to keep our families intact, to teach them correct principles, and to teach them to serve.

If you don't have anyone to sit by in church you are lonely no matter how full the chapel is. Luckily I had people to sit by today, except for Sunday School. I sat by a man I didn't even know--how does that happen? He promptly went to sleep. He did not snore.

It is good to sit in Relief Society and not be up front, conducting. It is nice to know someone else is in charge of Enrichment. I will go to Enrichment in September and have no responsibilities for the first time in seven years!

I told you this was a blog about nothing. I have things to say but am going to say them on my Starlight blog and on a different night as I'm going to bed now. I hope everyone is tucked in and hope you all remembered to floss your teeth and say your prayers.

Goodnight.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I SAW THE BAG LADY AND IT WAS ME


Today, I was in American Fork at 3:00 o'clock. I hadn't eaten any lunch--or any breakfast either--so I stopped at Wendy's and get a ninety-nine cent hamburger and fries.

After eating I rummaged in my purse to see if I could find a wet-wipe as I wanted to go to Trent and Michelle's and see the kids. One should always go tidy. By now I was driving. I know, rummaging in the purse while driving is a no-no.

Instead of a wet-wipe I found a melty-chocolate-mint-truffle bar. Now you know I couldn't let a melty-chocolate-mint-truffle bar sit there, melting, alone and lonely in it's goodness. So, with my teeth-as-tools I tore off a tiny corner and squished the melty goodness in my mouth. What I didn't know is that the other end of the bar had it's own tiny hole, squishing the melty goodness onto my shirt.

I turned the radio down with the hand that was holding the truffle bar, depositing melty goodness on the console and my WHITE, NEWLY IRONED pants. I noticed not, because I'm driving, giving 90% of my attention to the road and 10% to the melty goodness.

More tastes of melty goodness. More dripping on the shirt. More dripping everywhere.

I got to the turn for Trent and Michelle's and looked down. HOLY MOLEY. What is that? Melty goodness ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I found the wet-wipe and wiped the chocolate off. Translate: smeared the melty goodness all over the dang place. Still driving, yes, I know. Five wet-wipes later I looked like a woman who sleeps in a dumpster.

I didn't go to Trent and Michelle's. I didn't see the kids. How could I let them see they have a derelict grandmother? I did come home and washed my shirt and pants and then I read the calories on the back of the wrapper. 306. Well, at least I only ate 153 of them. The rest made the biggest mess I have ever seen.

Here is the evidence. See the tiny tear on the left hand side? See how neat it is? And look on the right hand side. See the goopy, melty goodness?That was it's sneaky exit point--all 153 calories. That's the one bright side to this story--calories not eaten. And I got a blog out of it. A boring blog, but hey, when you are boring, looking like a walking dumpster gets reported. I'm just sorry I forgot to take a picture of my clothes.

PS Blogger does not think "Melty" is a word. Eleven times it didn't recognize it. I may have overkilled the "melty goodness." (Twelve.)