GOING GREEN

Some of our grandchildren

take "going green" seriously.

Some take to totally seriously.
And some find it a total snore.

SIX WORDS FOR HAPPY CAT, MINKEY

Snooze, stretch, snoozing again, pure contentment.

PLANNING AHEAD SO YOU CAN DO A BIG PROJECT

I clicked on a website tonight, an email link from some person who is organized. She must also be an optimist to send organizing info. to the likes of me.

Here are some of her ideas for if I have a big project coming up that will take more of my time and add stress to my schedule.

Plan ahead: Okay, my big project is to finish--or even seriously start--my book.Let's see how I'm going to do that. Her ideas in blue, because she's so optimistic and blue seems like an optimistic book. My arguments in red because red seems like a hot color. Not to be confused with hot romance.

1. Get your body ready. Try to sleep a little extra and get caught up beforehand. Eat healthy and don’t skip your vitamins or exercise routine.

The reason this won't work: It will take my body a year to get in shape. My book is supposed to be finished by then, if it's not, then I will have forgotten all about it.

2. Plan meals that don’t take a lot of preparation. Stock up on non perishables and supplies.

Non-perishable foods are the ones that aren't good for you. The foods that are good for you are the ones that spoil. And meals that don't take a lot of preparation are what? A piece of broiled chicken and some buttered noodles. Easy? Yes. Good for you? No. Weren't we trying to get our poor body in shape and eat healthy? So, eating healthy and fixing easy meals are not compatible with nonperishable foods. Unless you are going to eat salad every day and salad takes lots of preparation time. And perishes.

3. Don’t add anything unnecessary to your schedule. Wait until the crunch is over to get your teeth cleaned or get bids for painting your house.

Everything is unnecessary when you are trying to write, including sleeping, which conflicts with suggestion #1.

4. Plan your wardrobe. Make sure everything you plan to wear is clean/mended/pressed.

See argument to #3. Clean, mended and pressed clothes are unnecessary if you are writing. You write. You may write in jammies but for sure you aren't writing in anything with a freshly ironed crease. The only crease you will have is from sleeping on your face when you finally stumbled to bed.

5. Communicate. Schedule time with your family to discuss upcoming family events and how details and transportation will be handled in your absence.

Here's how details will be handled in your absence--translated--I'm on the computer, don't bother me. "Phil, dear, could you please get your own meals? And wash your own clothes? And if its not too much bother could you please vacuum the floor and do the dishes because--after all--I'm writing. Oh, one more thing. You're making some of your fabulous homemade V-8 juice. Would you please make some for me too? And bring it down here to me? Thanks so much."

6. Be wise about volunteer activities. For example, let’s say you’re asked to serve on the church finance committee which meets twice a month on Monday nights. This would mean spending more time away from your family.

Well, sorry, but church responsibilities come even before writing in my jammies. I want to end my life on good standing with my Father and I don't think he cares whether or not I write that YA novel but I do think he cares that I helped his other children, which means serving in the church.

So, thanks for the helpful suggestions and the optimistic email. Sorry to fail your suggestion list.

Now, if there is a list on how to handle a husband who has gone around the bend because his wife is demanding, lives in jammies, has a keyboard glued to her fingers, and has facial creases, well, I'd like to see that list. It might be helpful.

PS I have lead you to believe that I am wonderfully productive about this mythical book thing. Sorry to mislead you. I do try to write every day but life does interfere. I would rather stay married than publish. I would rather have friends than publish. I would rather eat salad than publish and maybe that's the problem. Something would have to go. I'm afraid to think that it might be sleep.

7 WEIRD OR RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME.

My friend Pam tagged me with this:

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Okay, Pam, first of all I don't know seven people with blogs to tag. So, I'm afraid that part will have to go unanswered. I keep telling my friends to start a blog (you are the only one who has minded) but they just look at me like I'm an adolescent, trapped in a grown-up's body and say, "What's a blog?" Then they say, "What's the purpose of a blog?" And then they say, "I don't get it." All the time they are giving me that look. I do visit a lot of blogs, almost daily, of people I've stumbled on but they are popular and probably wouldn't even read my comments. So, I'll do the weird or random facts.

By the way, what does it mean to tag 7 random people? Who are these random people? Am I a random person? What makes a person random? maybe that's a weird fact.

7 weird facts about me:

1. I slept on the front porch as a kid. It was dripping with Virginia Creeper (the vine, not a weird--or random--person from Virginia). The porch looked like an grotto. I slept in a real double, brass bed with a down comforter. I had a night stand with a lamp, a box of comics--later a stack of books, and a portable radio. Mom said I could sleep there until the first frost. I prayed for a late frost. I would have slept there all winter if she had let me. As you can probably tell I lived in a very safe, small town. Mom left the front door open (screen door closed) and her bedroom was ten feet away so don't think she was negligent. She was the best. I sleep in a bedroom now--I wish I could sleep outside--but the window is wide open, summer and winter.

2. I think I am thin. When I pass a mirror I am always startled--and disgusted.

3. I think I am young. When I see my face I am always startled--and disgusted. So I smile. Then I look better but I do not, under any circumstance look at my profile. I have considered wearing a chin strap to bed to firm up the profile but it sounds too much like a jock strap.

4. I used to be a good cook. I had dinner on the table at 6:00 pm sharp and it was tasty. Now I don't love to cook but still love to gather recipes, as if I'm going to go right to the kitchen and pull out pans and measuring spoons. I watch the food network--except for Emeril--I copy recipes off the Internet and put them in files. It's my hobby. Reading people's blog is my other hobby. I read people's food blogs, especially the vegetarian food blogs. I found a recipe on A Veggie Venture called SPICY THAI NOODLE SALAD that I did make and it was very good. I had to make a whole extra recipe of sauce though. So, out of perhaps 100 recipes that I have saved I have made one. One percent. Not a very good track record, is it?

5. I love to sleep but never get to bed early enough to do enough of it. Maybe that's not weird. Maybe it's just poor planning.

6. I love to give gifts. I used to take a little gift (a loaf of sweet bread, etc.) to the people I visit teach each month (visiting teaching is an LDS thing) and then one day two of them said it made them feel guilty so I quit. I have never understood that. Why would they feel guilty. I wanted them to feel loved. I also used to buy Wednesday gifts for my girls--the ones I gave birth to and the ones who married my boys. Not every Wednesday, not even one Wednesday a month. But if I found something and I couldn't wait until Christmas or their birthday's to give it to them I gave it early. Then my fortunes took a nosedive and I couldn't buy Wednesday gifts anymore. When my fortunes reverse I am going to buy Wednesday gifts again. I can hardly wait.

7. I know sugar is a poison. I know it in the depths of my being. So, why am I always making caramels, I wonder? I just finished making 500 caramels for one order--that's over sixteen pounds of the stuff, and twelve Thanksgiving bags with name tags for my sister for her Thanksgiving table. I am slowly contributing to people's ill health. Someone should shake me. But not before I get my chin strap on because I don't want that wonky chin flopping around because I think I'm really young and fit and I don't want anything flapping all over the place, giving hints that I'm not.

There, maybe those aren't weird. Maybe they're just random.

And this post is too long. I really must learn to condense.