Today Phil picked the first tomatoes. Yes, I know, it's the last day of August. Other gardeners have been picking tomatoes since July, the first part of July, yet. What’s wrong with our garden? Here’s a clue—“I didn't dig large holes and fill them with fertilizer this year.” said an anonymous husband. “It’s too much work. I just dug small holes and put in a little fertilizer for the tomatoes. They’ll be fine.”
Next year we will be renting a backhoe and shoveling the fertilizer from an entire herd of dairy cows into them.
In past years our roma tomatoes have looked like bowling pins. This year they look like roundish-cone-headed marbles. The other tomatoes look like cherries. I don’t have the heart to cut them and see if they are any good. Something this rare should just be looked at, as if it were a jewel.
I usually spend several weeks in the fall drying bushels of roma tomatoes. I make them into Savory Italian Tomatoes to give to family and friends. This year I will be drying the tomatoes whole, putting them in tasteful settings and wearing them as jewelry. I will call them Rumpled Rubies. I’ll be taking orders but they will be expensive. There are truly rare and everyone knows rare gems are not cheap.
Now if you want cucumbers, let me know. They obviously don’t need fertilizer. In fact, if I didn’t know better I’d think they had a plan to take over the world or at least the cul-de-sac. Come on over. I’ll help you pick. Bring a box. Bring two. After we’re done we’ll sit on the lawn swings and you can admire my new jewelry. They may not sparkle but, if you haven’t had lunch yet, they’re edible.