Monday, February 11, 2008

10 REASONS I AM NOT JEALOUS THAT MY FRIENDS ARE IN FLORIDA AND HAWAII

1. Sand in underwear is bothersome.

2. Melting Popsicles are sticky. I hate sticky. I am always sticky, even when there is no sticky available, I manage to get sticky. My youngest darling daughter, Her Excellency--full name Her Excellency of Mousehole--calls me "Jam Hands." I do not think it is a term of endearment.


3. I hate hot. I hate cold, too. I am Goldilocks' sister. I want it "just right." If Hawaii is just right don't tell me because I am here, being a daughter of NanNook of the North and am happy, sitting in front of the fireplace.

4. After eating cake--see yesterday's post--I would not be caught dead in a swimming suit. Omar no longer makes swimming suits or I might reconsider.

5. My friend in Florida went to a giant flea market today. I can never pass up a bargain so I might have come home with a few giant fleas and I don't like being itchy.

6. My nephew, his very pregnant wife and his three kids live in Hawaii in student housing in a 500 freaking square foot apartment. If I were in Hawaii I would want to go there and see them and I would take up more square feet than they can spare.

7. I'm allergic to loud shirts.


8. I live in a desert, humidity makes me nervous. And sweaty. Very dripping sweaty.

9. I was on the jellyfish committee in Heaven and every time I go to an aquarium and see them I am amazed at their beauty and am so glad I was on the jellyfish committee. And then I remember they have no brain. And then it explains many things about myself.

10. If a volcano erupts where do you run? Onto the water? I live on a fault line and am not as frightened of an earthquake as I am of lava with no place to run.



And so, today, anticipating fifty degrees tomorrow, which will wreak havoc with all the "fridge things"--like sauerkraut, relish, oranges and grapefruit--stored in the garage, but will make my soul sing, and looking forward to another big snow storm on Wednesday, I am happy to be living in Utah and not Florida or Hawaii.

14 comments:

Rick said...

You're not convincing me. I think you're jealous.

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

C.C. said...

Thanks so much for visiting my blog. I hope you'll visit again...Toby is the best story generator! And I'm with you about hot, itchy, sticky, no where to run from the lava...can do without it! I look forward to reading more of your blog!

Pam's Place said...

This is not the day to be jealous, so I'm glad you're not. I just checked the weather for my return flight, and I used up all of my allotted "tender mercies" on my trip out here. Snow, rain, and wind on Wednesday for my return flight to SLC. (Maybe the Xanax will come in handy after all.) I'll trade you places right now if you will fly back for me. Ooooo, that's not very friend-like, is it?

No fleas today. Tomatoes and a $5 watch. Nothing exciting.

Cindy said...

You didn't convince me either,Lynne. But then again...I totally love your attitude!! 7 and 9 made me laugh the most!! Where do you ever come up with these things?? I need more imagination!!

peach said...

thanks for visiting my blog, The fish thank you too (they are hams) as for the deer if they do drink from the pond i have not seen them, there is a pic posted a couple posts back of the pond i am not sure how easily you can see but if you click the pic it will come in big, we made the sides really steep to keep wild things out. well the wild things that eat fishes. do come back to visit and i will add you to my list and do some major reading on yours :-)
Laura

stampingqueen said...

Auntie,
You don't have my convienced for a minute! The only volcano you have to worry about is on a completely different island and you get used to the sand in the underpants thing!

Love you,
Lisa

Ekim said...

I guess you won't be coming to the bikini contest.

You made me laugh.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

No humidity in Hawaii, sorry! All my military friends sing its praises - imagine, life with kids with no laundry but T-shirts and shorts. No socks - none of those darn socks!

Kacey said...

LOL, running a little thin on the believable conviction there. I'm with you on the sand in the underwear though *g

Motherwise said...

I believe you on every point. I feel the same way. I have to as my husband is in Florida now and it is 2 degrees outside. Yes, two. (Your fifty sounds like a bloody heat wave.)

Kellan said...

This was hysterical!!! I think you are so lucky to live in Utah and that is a simply beautiful photo of the mountains with the snow!! I loved this post - so funny! See you soon. Kellan

Kathy said...

I have to totally agree with you. I'm never jealous either.
You make me laugh!

stampingqueen said...

Whoever told SuburbanCorrespondent there's no humidity in Hawaii is a "Liar, liar, pants on fire" (as my kids would say). It's not as bad as Florida - I'll give you that - but humidity there is. We are surrounded by water....
Still - Hawaii's the place to be, I don't care what you say!

Anonymous said...

Ok Lynne....I read through your excuses....but we can't use those!!! My kids just got back from the big island..where they bought one acre last year..and the area they bought has no humidity...you don't need air or heat ALL YEAR LONG!!...They want us to move there one day with them...and after the third ice storm here in thirteen months.....well...I wouldn't mind sand in ALL my cracks....sandy cracky better than icy cracky!!!
Pam 'Oh Da Woods