Friday, December 19, 2008

EMBARRASSING MOMENT NUMBER ONE--THE SLITHERING SLIP

I've decided, in an effort to help you all realize how superior you are, I will start putting my embarrassing moments here in black and white. I'm nice, like that. You should all tell me how nice I am in the "comments section" so I will be able to bask in your appreciation and FORGET SOMETHING TOTALLY EMBARRASSING HAPPENED TO ME.

At church Sunday, after all the meetings were over, I was locking the Relief Society closet when my slip slithered to my ankles. There were still women in the Relief Society room, in fact they were sitting not three feet away from me and my slithering-ness. I didn't know what to do, but finally just stepped out of the slip, reached down and picked it up. There were eyebrow's raising, I can tell you. I laughed, in a nervous sort of way, and another woman said, "I used to pin my pantyhose to my bra so they wouldn't fall down under my pregnant tummy."

Then I didn't know if I should be relieved that she was so accepting of my slithering or if I should be offended that she maybe thought I looked like someone who was pregnant and should have pinned her slip to her bra. But, let's face it, the bra is closer to Mother Earth than I want it to be and a slithering slip would just make things worse; there will be no pinning.

I decided I would place no judgment on her comment as the slithering slip was judgment enough. I stuffed my slip in my church bag, told them all goodbye, walked to the door, turned the lights off and left. Then the joke was on them.

8 comments:

Bonnie said...

This is funny! I think you showed class.

The same thing happened to a co-teacher of mine. She had lost quite a bit of weight and her slip fell off right in front of her 1st period class full of 8th graders. When it happened, she just kicked it in the corner saying, "Well, I guess I don't need that any more," and then she went on teaching the class as if nothing ever had happened. She never did tell me what the class did or said. All I know is that the kids all loved her, just like all of the readers of your blog love you, Lynne.

My mother used to laugh and tell us about when she lost her panties on the sidewalk right in front of the Church Office Building. In those days underwear didn't have elastic waistbands--they had buttons and I guess one or two buttons popped off in a very public place. I think she was on a date at the time. She never did tell us what any of the spectators did or said.

Jen Evans said...

Oh wardrobe malfuntions. I had underwear stuck in my pants all day once. You had grace simply stepping out of your slip - I pulled my malfuntion out like a magic trick, saying, "Tada!!"

Michael Rawluk said...

You should have put it around your neck like a scarf.

Karen Deborah said...

If only you could have had this on video tape it would've won you the 10,000 prize on funniest videos. That beats leaving a public bathroom with the back of your skirt in your underwear.

Cindy said...

Thank you, Lynne for sharing this!! You are nice!! Nothing like this has ever happened to me (at least that I'm brave enough or creative enough to write about)!! And I do feel superior!! (wink, wink, not really)
Love ya!!

hillary said...

I agree with Michael. You could start a fashion trend with your silky black scarf.
I am far to busy to blog. Must wrap presents. lyb yfc

Colette Amelia said...

Well that showed them all how to react when something happens to them! What a great teacher you are!

I bet when it does happen to them...maybe not a slip malfunction but something else...they will remember you and your classy handling of the whole ball of wax and be at peace.

VaQueenBee said...

Two summers ago we were visiting friends in SC. We were walking up the front steps of their church when I felt something odd. I looked down and there was my slip around my ankles! I didn't know what to do either, so I just giggled and reached down, pulled it off and stuck it in my purse! Maybe that's why I've gained weight ... so I wouldn't lose my slip again! ;o)