IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

A week ago a husband and wife were on a cruise with my friend of mine. The night before leaving the ship everyone's luggage had to be put in the hall and would be picked up during the night for transport to the airport. The wife went to bed, the husband decided he'd like to partake of the buffet one more time. The wife is very large, the husband is pencil thin. Wouldn't you know it? He probably out eats her by twice.

When he got back he noticed his wife had left some clothes out of the suitcase so he tiptoed around, gathering things up and stuffed them into her suitcase in the hall. When they woke up (she sleeps in her underwear), and she went to get the clothes she had laid out the night before, they were gone! (Remember she is large, he is thin? She wouldn't fit into his clothes.) The suitcases, naturally, were also gone.

They had a discussion. I think crying was involved. I don't know which one cried--maybe both.

Her husband frantically knocked on every door in their hallway, asking if anyone had clothes that would fit his wife. Finally, a very large man at the very end of the hall said, "Well, I have some boxers you could have."

picture these, size 52

The husband had somehow missed gathering the women's blouse--a little shell top--so she dressed in this, and the boxers--no jacket, not one other item of clothing, other than her underwear and shoes. Can you imagine flying for ten hours in a skimpy top and a fat man's boxers?

As they disembarked everyone who had a camera took a picture of her. She was humiliated but held her head high. When they got to the airport it seemed every single tourist also had a camera and they all took a picture of her. She is probably on YouTube, as we speak. It was getting harder and harder to hold her head high. She just wanted to go home.

When they ran into Mr. Boxer in the airport she humbly thanked him for the loan of the boxers and asked for his address so she could launder and return them.

"Oh, don't bother," he said. "They're just an old pair, and anyway I had already worn them for three days ."

And that is why she is in court today, explaining why she caused a public disturbance in an international airport. "Shaken-husband-syndrome" is now in the medical dictionary. I don't know what she did to Mr. Boxer but I'll bet it made the news.