Tuesday, September 4, 2007


Spiders are a fallen insect. The ultimate fallen insect. They have more legs than anything else and then they spread them out so they look like they are taking over the world. And what's with the speed? Ever see a slow crawling spider. Okay, a tarantula. A tarantula qualifies as a whole different species. A nasty, bad one.

I brought friends into the house tonight to get some cucumbers and as they left there was a nasty BIG spider by the door. I freaked and so did one of my friends and the other friend, who weighs about 105 pounds and looks like an angel, took of her flip-flop shoe and said, “Oh for Heaven’s sake,” and promptly departed him for a better place.

Every spider should have such a person assigned to them. Like the spider that just crawled up the wall, behind the computer desk where I couldn’t reach him, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t. He had been riding in a washing machine for four days and he was dizzy as he couldn’t decide which way to go. Up, down, up, down, to the left, up, to the right, etc. He went back out of sight and now my feet are on my chair and I can’t put them down and go to bed because he might be lurking.

I hate spiders. Before they were fallen I’ll bet they knitted baby blankets. I’m going to choose to believe that. Some sweet insect who knitted for infants wouldn’t hurt me. Would he? I’m going now. I'm going fast.

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