Friday, August 13, 2010

TRIALS

We hate them--trials--and yet they are necessary. We can't appreciate the good without the bad. I wanted to say "without the evil" but evil is such a...well, evil word.

I remember the night I was going to pray for every single family in our neighborhood. It was daunting. I got to exactly six houses when I realized that if I prayed for everyone I would be on my knees--or leaning on the bed, because of my bad knees--all night--perhaps even for days. Everyone had problems that seemed heartbreaking to me.

But there was one family that I couldn't find the trial for. I have often said to Phil, "They don't have a trial," and he would tell me "you just didn't know about it." Sadly, he was right. This week I found out and I was devastated. I love that family. Well, actually I love all of my neighbors and am devastated about their trials but this one kind of involved me too. It kind of involved everyone in our neighborhood. We are all hurting. Hurting and praying for this family but hurting for ourselves too.

And then, just tonight, I realized that every one of my neighbor's/friend's trials involve me because I know them. Because I love them. Because I recognize who they really are.

Now I ask a question...can my sharing the hurt, the humiliation, the fear--insert any number of hurtful words here--make a difference? Can my worrying, prayers, and well wishes, make a difference or not?

I remember in the beginning of one of my trials I wanted to run home to Momma, although she had died the year before. I wanted to mentally run home and thought of physically running home too, to Daddy. He wouldn't have known what to do with me but I was seriously thinking about it. And then I confessed this to one of my friends. Perhaps I was feeling her out, thinking she would give me words of confirmation. Instead she drew herself up to her full height, and in a "mind me!" sort of voice said, "Oh no you won't. You will stay right here where your support system is."

How can you deny that force? I stayed. And, indeed, my friends rallied around and made my life easier. And since we have been through that time together nothing will ever, EVER break that bond of friendship.

I don't know if my friends with the new, raw trial, will run home to "Momma"-wherever that might be--or if they will stay here where their support group is. I hope they will stay so we can heal together. I pray for it. I hope they are brave and have the common sense like I did--well, I didn't have the common sense but my friend did. Do you think if I said, "Oh no you won't!" that will sway their decision?

In the mean time, I will pray for them and for my hurting and everyone else's. Together we can heal, and in the healing we will be stronger. We will be one.

9 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

What doesn't kill us does, indeed, make us stronger. Holding your friends in my thoughts and prayers....

Colette Amelia said...

you got a great big heart Lynne Snyder...could you take a little break on worrying about everyone and just relax for a moment or two? I think you are muscling in on the big guy's job...but I know this is hard for wonderful caring ones like you.

But if you keep worrying about everyone you will get sick and then we will all have to worry about you!

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

Awesome thinking Lynne. I need to remember that their trials are in a way mine, too.

TeamGornold said...

hello lil' miss!
we love you dearly. you are stronger than you think and than you will every know!
*kiss and hug*

Cindy said...

Such a touching post. We do need to be the Saviors hands here on earth and help each other to heal!

I remember thinking a family in my ward had such a wonderful life, big beautiful home, great kids, mom always happy and smiling. Wow, I was shocked to find out they had major challenges. We just never know what is going on in someone else family.

Annette said...

Amen. This brought tears to my eyes. You expressed my feelings far better than I could. We truly do need each other.

Betsy said...

Awww...this was sweet! I need to pray for my neighbors more often!

Tierney said...

I know your prayers for me help, Lynne. Just look at the little bun-bun you helped bring here with all your good thoughts and prayers, and I know all of our babies, here and not here yet are getting helped here by you. I believe this. Miss you already.

tearese said...

I hope your neighbors make it through their trial too. I hope that we can find a close knit group here in our new neighborhood too...maybe I should start praying for all of them and that will kick start things?
Hope you're doing well.