Sunday, July 28, 2013


It's been a while. Over a year. I'm wiser this year than last but couldn't tell you exactly how.

I've seen friends of mine encounter big losses. One the loss of a daughter, a perfect daughter. Her son-in-law courted and remarried before even seven months was up. Who does that? No one should do that. That's insane.

My neighbor, who lost her husband, her young husband--age 36 or thereabouts, has stayed single, not even a date for seven years. She wears his wedding ring on a chain around her neck. Is her loss any less, after the years? I don't think so.

Another friend of mine, lost a grandchild. Right up to his birth, all was well and then he died before being born. His parents were of course devastated, but so was she. A grand-baby she will never hold, never teach patti-cake to. Never read to, or give smothery kisses to. A loss in her life.

I lost three babies, miscarriages, but to me they were babies, babies I wanted and grieved over. But I was married in the Temple and was promised all children born to me would be mine, if I lived worthy. I believe that is any baby referred to, no matter how long I carried them.

Now comes something I worry about. The worthy part. I find the gospel going over me and under me and around me, like I was in some kind of non-gospel-soaking-in bubble. I want the gospel of Christ to go through me. I want to absorb it. I want to live it and be happy in it and be grateful for it every day of my life. I'm working on it.

And may our losses be less, and when they are not less, may we understand the Plan of Salvation and know that we will be united with our loved ones, those we lost are not lost, not really, we just can't see them. They are there, waiting for us.


Bonnie said...

Lynne, you have so eloquently expressed how I feel. I have missed your insightful logs. It have been over 5 years and the pain of being without Randy is still there--a void that no one can fill but him. I miss him more with each passing day not less. I cannot say that I have ever felt his presence around me, like some widows say they do. Even when I have seen him in my dreams, I grab his hand or embrace him, tell him I love him, but he never speaks or responds. I wonder, "is it because I am just not worthy?" I have so many feelings but no place to share them and my daughter is always too busy to listen. I dislike Facebook because it is mostly filled with one-liners and I have been criticized me when I write anything lengthy or emotional on it. God bless you, Lynne, for being you.

The Peterson Family said...

I think all of us are that non-absorbing bubble most of our lives. And every now and then a little piece of Gospel truth sneaks in and sits with us. Eventually we are filled. It takes a long time. Maybe even longer than this lifetime for some. Probably even most of us. As long as you stay in the bubble and take in the pieces that sneak in I think you're doing fantastic. And I know you are, because I know you:)


Colette Amelia said...

Lynne You are wonderful....and so charming!