Saturday, November 28, 2009

WHAT AM I DOING IN THE HOSPITAL?

What was I doing in the hospital this morning? I don't know for sure and it turns out neither do the doctors.

I had started an email this morning when my left arm went "wonky." No other way to explain it. In about a minute I had pain--bad pain--in my left armpit. (I gotta stop using cheap deodorant.) Then I had pain in the right armpit. (I am an equal-opportunity-armpit-pain kind of girl.) Then the pain hit my back.

I am not the kind of person who goes to the doctor or hospital but the pain was bad. If "ten" is a "the pain is so bad I'm going to pass out or die" it was a seven. This was not pain for sissies. I told Phil about it and he said we better go to the hospital.

I couldn't go with hair like that! I plugged in the curling iron and did my hair. Phil paced the floor and said things about my priorities that I will not repeat here. (Bless his heart.) It's a good thing I did my hair because about the time we would be halfway to the hospital I threw up. Throwing up in the toilet is much nicer than doing it in the car. (That's the only good thing I can think of to say about throwing up.)

I threw up my fish oil pill, which floated merrily around while I tried to drown it with contributions of my stomach, which was only water. If I had to throw up I'm glad I had something interesting to watch. You can't imagine how amusing a fish oil pill can be during a tempest in a toilet.

So, they ran tests--how much this will cost me I can only imagine. I had "leads" stuck on every available inch of my skin and I was hooked up to wires. The cuff for blood pressure cut my arm in half every time I got semi-relaxed. (They don't allow relaxation in hospitals. It's a rule.)

They wheeled me by the cafeteria at lunch time on my way to get an x-ray. Roast beef, the technician said as I inhaled, salivating on my gown. I will never taste roast beef again because I am changing my diet.

They said I DIDN'T have a blockage that made part of my heart die but that's about all they could say. After four hours they sent me home. I am supposed to have a stress test next week--which I have decided I aint havin'. Because I'm changing my life and I won't need it. Besides that, people die after stress tests. I've heard stories.

And when I was ready to leave do you know what was written on the prescription pad. "Take and aspirin a day." Does that sound familiar? "Take two aspirins and call me in the morning." I aint callin'. Most expensive dang aspirin I'll ever take.

So, I'm still here, a little nervous that this may repeat but having positive feelings that it won't.

Here's a tip for those of you who are local. Timpanogos hospital is not busy, it's somewhat relaxing. You can almost doze off, until the blood pressure cuff pumps it's self up, that is. I recommend it. But change your life with me, and you will never have to go and the blood pressure cuff will have to retire to Hawaii.

22 comments:

Bentley said...

you're not allowed to get sick or to need to go to the hospital for any reason what-so-ever. So let's just stop that business all together. no more. never again. you have to be around to see my kids graduate from college, and I don't have any kids yet.

Lorraine said...

I swear Lynne, things happens at times that scares the crap out of people. I found through my Hell experience, and I swear I thought I was dying...I couldn't breathe, everyday i was in hell, and I found out then and finally understood, that it only happens to make you more aware of your spirituality. I swear. We give ourselves the proverbial kick in the butt, whoever says that spritituality is gentle, didn't have stubborn people in mind. Good to get healthier always, but you just need to open your spirit. What saved my life litterally (ok and some medications, hum, well I'm not a prophet!!!)was a book 'Emmanuel's Book' compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton, it says that it's a Manual for living comfortably in the cosmos... I might have been crawling with fear and pain but when I started reading it, the relief was divine..if it's the last thing you EVER buy, buy this

Laura ~Peach~ said...

ok this is NOT the post i wanted to read... but i am glad you are ok and home... and... just my nursey person thought here... but if you are able to curle your hair... I agree with each word phil said by the way... and do some massive heaving /puking all before going that might mean you are ok... but darn it all do me a favor and when ever in pain lake that... Dont worry about your hair... we (nurses and dr types) really wont judge you on your hair... unless it is on fire or something then all bets are off.....You have a beautiful background at your hospital... gee that is so ... well just beautiful... HUGS

Laura ~Peach~ said...

lake ... sheesh my comments just would not be correct with out typos... and i even re read before hitting submit...
LIKE ...

Astromom said...

Wow Lynne your scaring me. I'm sure it scared you quite worse, though I could see you curling your hair even if you though you might have been having a heart attack. Though it wouldn't hurt to take an asprin everyday, even if you are changing things in your life. You take care of yourself, there are too many people who love you to let you go for a long time.

Betsy said...

Oh dear! As I was reading I did say...arm pain and nausea...that's a heart attack! You poor thing! Hope you feel better soon. And just take a baby aspirin daily ...you don't need a prescription.

At least you didn't loose your sense of humor! :)

Colette Amelia said...

You know stress is a killer and now you done and got me stressed!!! I will now take an asprin and my fish oil pill and comb my hair...want to be ready and it could probably use a comb since I haven't combed it for a day or two.

I wish I could do something other than just be "Loco" to try and destress you so you will not have pain and suffering in your pits or in your heart.

take care dear friend who I have never met.

Shan said...

I don't love your post one little bit. DON'T GET DEAD!!!!!! that'll be all.

Annette said...

Oh my goodness, and I stayed home from church with a measely cold! I'm so sorry. That is a scary experience, even though you can write about it in such a way to make me laugh.

You take care of yourself, Woman! You are loved by so many people, and we don't want you out of commission.

Michael Rawluk said...

How can I laugh at that. You are wicked for making me laugh. I will have to get even somehow. Take care of yourself or I will have to come down there and be your caregiver. (We used to call it "Playing Doctor.")

hillary said...

Who is this "Bentley" person? What a strange name. I much perfer "Heed"

But I totally agree with his comment, only I would have added: "I am not speaking at your funeral, if you die"

That'llbeall and the end.

Muum said...

eek! so, is your heart ok? Both of my parents have had 'blockages' in their hearts and that is nothing to mess with. take care of yourself!

shar said...

I hope that you're doing great and feeling much better tonight and that you are A-Okay for good :) I'm off to bed and to say my nighttime prayers, of which you will be a part. Hugs!

Lee W - The Way I See It said...

Wow, what a scare. Good thing you are not my mom, or I'd kick your butt for waiting to go to the hospital. You're lucky there were no EKG changes, 'cause time is muscle! Did I mention I'm a cardiac nurse? 8 years in open heart ICU, 2 years in the cardiac cath area?? Hmmmmmmm?? Stress tests are not 100%, but if you have a family history, you should get one. The gold standard is a cardiac catheterization, which they probably can't order without a stress test. Women are also atypical with chest pain, often it's somewhere else. Changing yor lifestyle is great, but once the blockages are there, they are there. Not all blockages show up on EKG either. Next time get thyself to the ER stat. Time is heart muscle. Or I'll come out there and take you myself. Really, I will!

Jessica said...

Lynne,
What the heck? I get so busy, I take a break from reading blogs and this is what I return to? You are in big trouble, mister. However, I am glad you are alive and well. I am sorry they couldn't tell you anything. That stinks. And cayenne works better than aspirin, FYI, with no side effects. Well, except making your head explode if you take it in some form other than pills. Let me know if I can help.

Mental P Mama said...

Yikes! I am so glad you are okay. What a scare. And you did your hair first? I wish they knew what it was. Because being told to take an aspitrin would not be enough for this ol' neurotic gal. But, really, what a relief!

whirligigdaisy said...

Oh Lynne. Are you OK? I'm sending prayers and good thought your way.

Tierney said...

My crazy, beloved friend. Number ONE, next time, if there is a next time, LEAVE YOUR HAIR BE!!! Number TWO, please take the stress test. Number THREE, Timpanogos is really a great hospital, huh? I used to go there when I would get obstructions. It was the best--immediate service, no hassles. I am on my way to bed, but please, really follow up with the doctors. I think I am being bossy and controlling. Oh, well. xoxoxo

Pam's Place said...

You DID YOUR HAIR FIRST!!???

Stress test, YES. Don't wait. Do it. If you go to UVRMC, Bob will do it. I'll go with you and hold your hand.

This just won't do -- we're gonna have a little talk tomorrow....

Trent said...

I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. YOU. … TWIRP!

WHAT THE BLÖÖDY 'ELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, DOING YOUR FLAMIN' HEAIR? (I liked the spelling, so I left it.)

You have a family history. You WILL get the stress test; you SHOULD take a baby aspirin (or one of those 35mg? ones) to thin your blood just a bit; you SHOULD take some cayenne to help open yer arteries; you SHOULD eat oateymeal to he'p scrub them arteries out. All that stuff daily. Well, 'cept the stress test one.

{sigh}

I love you, and so do all of your grandkids, including the ones Heeed hasn't had yet. Alz'beth might have some notion there, too, y'know. SO NO POPPING OFF TO VISIT YER MUM! Not yet!

"I swear, if you die I'll never speak to you again as long as you live."

That is all. >:|

And thank you for the birthday medley.

tearese said...

How scary! I hope it doesn't happen again! I used to get sharp pains in my arm when I first got married, and I finally decided I was getting blood clots from birth control. I don't know if it was true or not, but when I changed it the pains stopped!
Every time I go to the doctor they can't find anything either. And I get mad that they'll think I'm a hypochondriac even though I NEVEr go to the DR unless I think somethings really wrong.
Which it never is.

Damama T said...

LIsten to Trent. And don't make me come over there to enforce it! And you'd be beautiful bald so SCREW THE HAIR next time! GAH! Wait - THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME because you ARE going to listen to the doctors and do what they say as well as changing your lifestyle to reduce stress. GAH! LOL! OK, Prayers going up. As much for your enlightenment and un-stuborn-ation as for your healing. ;o)