Friday, April 2, 2010

SONIC THE DOG SLEEPS ON THE BED

This is not a photo of Sonic. Sonic makes this dog look like a pygmy. Sonic is huge. He does everything in a huge way. You ought to see him devour a rawhide bone as big as your arm. Twenty minutes, tops.

We have some friends who have a HUGE golden Labrador. He is a beautiful dog, and does everything with gusto. His name is Sonic and he loves to sleep on the bed with his master and mistress. He waits until they are asleep and then he sneaks, stealthily onto the bed, so stealthily that Mr. Successful doesn't even wake up. He sleeps in between them. He probably weighs as much as the mistress, who I am going to call Blondie. He might even weigh as much as his master, Mr. Successful. Blondie likes Sonic to sleep on the bed because he is like a furry heater and she puts her back up against him and is warm all winter. (Sonic sleeps on top of the covers.)

Mr. Successful is not so fond of Sonic sleeping on the bed. In the first place he'd like to be the one his wife snuggles up against. The second reason is that Sonic has the breath of a dragon. When he lays on his back his breath actually turns the ceiling fan. I'm not making this up, Mr. Successful told Phil. Can you imagine? A dog having breath so strong it will turn the ceiling fan?

The other night Mr. Successful was having a dream of the perfect storm--a storm that smelled like dog breath. He woke up and there was Sonic, with his hot-dog-breath, four inches from Mr. Successful's face. Mr. Suiccessful's eyebrows were wafting to and fro with Sonic's every breath.

So, if you ever have an annoying pet remember it can't be this bad--going to bed with a beautiful woman and waking up to an furry snout, breathing hot breath in your face. Kind of kills any romance you might have, doesn't it? Poor Mr. Successful. Happy, warm Blondie.

12 comments:

The Damsel In DisDress said...

Hahaha!!! I have a giant lab myself, and he is nevah, evah allowed on my bed. Ew! That's just me.

Julie Harward said...

LOL...you just discribed about 90% of the homes in the world...how about yours? Have a nice Easter weekend..and come say hi :D

Anonymous said...

YOU are hysterical!!! Happy Easter my Mormon friend.
Lucy

Lorraine said...

lol that's too good Lynne lol warmth tops bad breath, absolutely delightful

would you believe word verification is debed lol

Michael Rawluk said...

I think I should swish some mouth wash in case I compete with Sonic.

Astromom said...

This was very cute and funny. I like how you can turn something as matter of fact as a dog coming into bed into a beautiful writing.

Karen Deborah said...

I love this. You need a book of all these real life short stories. Really they are the best! Um you know you can get dog dental's done and brush their teeth. He sounds like such a luvins!

Annette said...

I have to admit, I've only slept with a dog once in my life. In that instance during the night he chewed a pen up, which made ink stains all over the carpet. I never babysat that dog again.

Bonnie said...

Your posts are charming and clever as always.
I have had a lot going on and I haven't been able to post on my blog, but today is the 2nd anniverary of Randy's death, and so I finally wrote a post. I intend to start again. So please read my blog if you can.

I don't even know your email because Comcast messed up my email again, so this is the only way I can contact you. Please email me back, so I can contact you.

I want to start reading you blog daily again because you cheer me up I love you, Lynne.

tearese said...

ewwwww. I'm glad he's on top of the covers.

Mental P Mama said...

LOL...Mr. Successful is living my life;)

Julie Pishny said...

Too funny...my little dogs are not allowed in my bed because Angus is in and out of the covers all night long - flapping his big ears, sticking his wet nose in my ear when he wants back under the covers...and Molly stays under the covers and pants really loud...so annoying. So... they are kenneled at night so they will stay out of the trash...horrible little dogs, really. But, we do love out bubber-hounds....in spite of all this...hugs - Julie