Sunday, December 26, 2010

IS THAT A SNOW PLOW, OR ARE WE AT WAR?

Christmas Day is over, the presents are unwrapped and all is quiet on the home front.

Just a few minutes ago Elizabeth and I heard a noise. A prolonged noise. Twice. It's either a snow plow, or we are at war. The fact that there is hardly a skiff of new snow has me wondering if the missiles have been deployed and we are headed into Armageddon.

And then I had the thought: If we are at war, and the missiles have been launched, and the radiation is sifting down, then I better eat all the Christmas candy now, instead of parcelling it out a bit at a time until the new year. Because, as soon as the clock strikes midnight on December 31st (or is it considered January 1st when the clock strikes midnight?) candy must not be consumed, in fact, if I have any in my mouth at that moment, I must spit it out.

Because there might not be a new year, it would be a shame to let all the fudge and little white cookies go to waste. The mutants in the future, sifting through our generation's rubble will come upon the fudge and little white cookies and say, "The people who lived here (and died before New Year's) worshipped fudge and little white cookies and kept them in sacred decorated tins." They will know they are sacred because one of them is a Mary Englebright tin and it says, "Peace." Of course the fudge filled one has a picture of Santa and a reindeer. I don't want them to think I worshipped fudge and little white cookies and Santa, so I guess I better eat the contents, so the mutants-of-the future will not make snarky comments about my religion.

5 comments:

The Peterson Family said...

Mmmmm, wish I was there to help save face for mankind:)

Laura~peach~ said...

please send any offending little white cookies to peach... she will take care of them for you:)
PLEASE let me do my part in saving your life :) Giggles!

Colette Amelia said...

and send that tray of baking to us! No baking done here and we have been working hard at getting rid of the liquorish allsorts and the fairtrade chocolate bars...so far we haven't touched the ones we bought just in case some kind fool gives us a tray of baking...wouldn't want to have nothing to give in kind...but so far no visits and no gifts so it all might just be going to the thighs!!!

Michael Rawluk said...

If you eat the fudge first the future people will know that you worship Santa because you obviously ignored the other.

hillary said...

Please don't eat my little white cookies. Also, don't send them to that peachy lady.