Sunday, April 26, 2009


I am so behind on blogs and even behind on birthday's. I owe Bookworm a blog about her day out with Grandma and instead of worrying that I'm not going to get all the photos in I should just shoot for five and get it done.

And I missed The Baby's birthday all together. I'm so far behind with him that I haven't even given him a nick mane. It's a possibility that I'm a grandma-failure.

I thought I could at least have a nice birthday dinner for my girl today. I started off last night by putting a tablecloth on the table and a cute print tablecloth of Aunt Dorothy's on top, it looked so fresh--like something out of a magazine.

This morning, when I came into the kitchen I KNEW that Pika had been on the table because she had HAWKED UP A FUR BALL ALL OVER BOTH TABLECLOTHS! I'm telling you, I'm beginning to believe Phil when he says cats need their own planet.

I didn't make Gilmore Girl's cake last night and there is a reason to try and keep the Sabbath Day holy and not NOT MAKE CAKES ON SUNDAY. When I put the pans in the oven I thought there wasn't much batter in them. Odd. The reason is some brain-child forgot to put the eggs in. Four ingredients and I leave one out? The cakes were partially baked when I snatched the pans out of the oven and dumped the batter back in the mixing bowl with the eggs. They tasted a bit odd, dense-ish. Weird. Happy Birthday to you, dear daughter. Here, have a lousy cake.
I made frosting from scratch...with not enough milk, because I DIDN'T HAVE ANY LEFT after Her Excellency of Mousehole and the Boarder--who were visiting--drank it for breakfast. I only bought a quart--we don't drink milk--and asked them to leave me a cup and a half. Her Excellency only eyeballed it--and her eyeballs do not know what a cup and a half look like.

Then I was fixing Pioneer Woman's Spicy Shrimp and it was not, "yummy and fun, fun, fun," like she says. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHRIMP COSTS, PIONEER WOMAN? She doesn't know. She has a plethora of cows and she just grabs one as she drives by in one of her farm vehicles and makes the poor cow trot all the way to town. He's delighted to go, he thinks he's going to have an adventure but she gives the poor cow to the grocer and then she fills up several grocery carts with whatever she wants and then goes home and takes forty-'leven photos of her kitchen adventures.

"Dear Pioneer Woman,

Shrimp is expensive. Just thought you'd want to know.


Anonymous shrimp-failure-cooking-person in Utah

PS Your photos are beautiful but maybe three of them showing us the pepper is two too many."

Gilmore Girl has a recipe for shrimp that IS yummy and maybe even three fun's and I will put it in my recipe book as soon as I tear PW's recipe in tiny bits.

So, no tablecloths, an odd cake, stiff frosting and the shrimp with marginal "yummy's" and not so much "fun's."
But the company was fine. The hat that Curly Sue made for her mom was darling. (Note the creative spelling. She gets her "creative spelling" gene from me. I am nothing if not a creative speller. It's my one accomplishment.)

And she liked her gift. If you can't read it it says, "It's not where you go or what you do, it's who is beside you that counts." I tried to find a photo of the Savior with the two of them but I was fresh out.
Here's the photo is color, I don't know how to make it black and white. So, even though I had a few minor disasters, it was a good day with my girl, celebrating the day of her birth, which was one of the best days of my life. Even though she was TWO WEEKS LATE, and I gave birth in THE LABOR ROOM with NO ANESTHESIA, and Phil kept saying, "How interesting," and I vowed that if I lived, which I thought I wasn't going to do--I was going to KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS and, that sweet baby was OVER ELEVEN POUNDS! Did I mention no anesthesia?

Yes, a great day, once all the pain and fear were over and I held that beautiful baby in my arms. She has been a joy ever since.

Well, ALMOST ever since. Teenagers, being what they are, but we're not going to think about that today, are we. (Twitch, twitch.) But then again, maybe we will, for just a minute, as The Mighty Hunter found that Gilmore Girl had scratched her name into the Clerk--when she was a teenager.

The Clerk is my favorite piece of furniture and, until tonight, I thought it had escaped the markings of children with a sharp instruments. Practically everyone in the family has scratched their name in the piano. Do you KNOW how much it costs to refinish a piano? Don't even ask.

"So," she said, after the name was revealed for one and all, "I guess that means I get the Clerk after you die. After all, my name is on it."

Over my dead body. Oh, wait. It will be over my dead body.

Happy Birthday! I love you anyway. And always will. And so does Dad.

PS Here's a photo of how I decorate the clerk--that you aren't getting--over my dead body--for spring.


Bonnie said...

I loved the gift and the saying on the gift that you gave your daughter. She will treasure it forever. The cake also looked delicious.

Yesterday was a day of missteps for me too.
What you said is only too true--there are some things that should not be left for the Sabbath. I left washing my hair for Sunday morning, which is a bad idea because my church starts at 9:00 a.m. and everything has to go perfectly for me to get there on time.

While I was blow drying my hair, half the house went in darkness because hair dryer blew a fuse. Then I couldn't figure out which circuit breaker went with what. Saturday night, I was also too tired to make the 2 German Chocolate pies for people who had birthdays Thursday and Sunday that I was going to visit teach right after church. I think I might have made it to church on time except I couldn't find the second package of German Chocolate after I was already in the middle of making 2 pies (still with partially wet hair) . . . so I had no other choice but to go to Reams on a Sunday with half-wet uncurled, disheaveled hair.

The pies and the hair turned out okay, but I was very late, and there is still one circuit breaker showing red that won't go black when I flip it, and i have no idea what it goes to, so I am just leaving it off. I think all the important appliances are running--like the fridge, freezer, furnace, etc. I hope I don't find a big pool of water in the basement or some other unexpected surprise.

Jessica said...

Hey! She looks familiar to me. Don't I know her? :)

I hope her birthday was lovely and you are a precious mama to go to all that work. (I meant the tablecloth, cake and shrimp, but you are Super Wonder Woman Hero Lady for giving birth to that Amazon baby with no drugs. Because that was no party, I think.)

zelzee said...

Love the t-shirt! What a great idea.

You are my hero.....I would have served the cake w/o eggs, and not said a word. (Like anyone would have dared to complain).

hillary said...

This is by far, my favorite post you've ever done.

It was a perfect evening, expecially the part about me making better shrimp than Pioneer Woman.

The food was DE-lish, the company was de-lovely, the prizes were perfect, and you - are not lame.

I love you bigger than the sky.

PS how long are you going to hold the whole "11 pound baby with no drugs" thing over me? I mean, I was just little.

Cris n Nick said...

Again, you're killin' me.
And about the shrimp: AGREED!
You are such a cute woman, if you are a failure gramma, I hope I fail the way you do.

Octomom said...

Squeezing 11 pounds out with NO ANESTHESIA would make the prospect of another pregnacy a little scary.

Shan said...

I talked to Hillyerie on her very birthday. Actually, I technically texted Hillyerie on her very birthday, and she didn't mention one crummy thing that you thought was so terrible. That's probably why you went to all that trouble for her. She knows how to be grateful and gracious.

I'm very sorry about your 11 pound, no anethesia birthing, but I'm awfully glad you had her.

Shawn said...

Are you kidding me? Eleven lbs.?
And you lived to tell the tale?

I would be cursing that kid a blue streak...

But you are a wonderful and forgiving
mother that gives amazing birthday parties, even if the cake almost had no eggs. You ARE my hero!

Annette said...

I'm glad I'm not the only person who forgets major ingredients and doesn't realize it until it is baking! You were obviously able to redeem it, as it looks delicious.
What a wonderful birthday!