Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Last night I fixed Elizabeth a sandwich--late--probably ten o'clock. (That's because I'm such a nice Mom.) Phil was sitting at the table eating graham crackers and rice milk. I stuffed a piece of salami in my mouth, I figured it was worth whatever points it had. (Obviously I still haven't figured points out yet.)

"What are you eating?" Phil asked.


"Did you eat it all?"

You should know something about skinny Phil. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He eats with everybody. If someone is eating he will find out what they are eating, and sit down to have some, too. So, naturally he ate the rest of the salami. Graham crackers and rice milk and salami. A great combination.

He went to bed.

I went to bed a couple of hours later. In the middle of the night I woke up because there was a weasel fight outside our bedroom window. We sleep with the window open and so we hear lots of things in the middle of the night, but I've never heard a weasel fight before. In fact I've never even seen a weasel. But I knew, for sure, that I was hearing a knock-down, winner-take-all, weasel fight.

Then I listened closer and the weasel fight had a rhythm. Squeal, wheeze, pause, pause. Squeal, wheeze, pause, pause. It was Phil. I jumped gently on the bed, he turned over and silence reigned.

Elizabeth always goes to bed several hours after I do--she has insomnia. I heard her open the bathroom door. Screech. And then she closed the bathroom door. Screech. And then she opened the bathroom door. Screech. And closed it. And then I remembered that the bathroom door doesn't screech. It was Phil. I jumped, gently, on the bed twice, he turned over and there was silence.

Twice more I was awakened to bizarre noises but because I'm somewhat of quick learner I realized it was just Phil. I jumped on the bed a few times. Silence.

So, if you too want to be awakened to interesting nighttime activities just let your husband eat a bunch of odd food before bed. You will be amused and even get some jumping-on-the-bed exercise. It's a twofer.


Julie Harward said...

That was so funny! Yes, it goes on here too but what I hear is more like a water buffalo! I do the poke works too...maybe I'd better start jumping on the bed, I could use more exercise too! LOL Come say hi :D

whirligigdaisy said...

Ah, the curse of being a light sleeper, eh? How ARE you?

Annette said...

There are some advantages to being deaf. I don't hear a thing once I take my hearing aids out!

Where were you today? We missed you. Do you want me to call and remind you next week? Maybe you were taking a nap because of your sleepless night.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

sounds like elephants and hippos fighting when mike starts... i elbow him and poke him in the ribs to make him move... sometimes its worse after other times it is better... do you get points for the jumping on the bed exercises?

Lee @ The Way I See It said...

My husband is TERRIBLE snorer. Like clockwork, every two hours he turns to his back and the house begins to shake. I bump, shake, push him until he rolls over. Then the stop watch starts again. I'm tired. I want my own room!

Julie said...

Weasel fights! That was really funny, Lynne. You always make me giggle when I read your blog - thank you for that, it's a great way to start the day.

There are nights when I sounds around me become part of my when my husband's alarm goes off after he has set it to sports radio the night before and I am peacefully sleeping having lovely dreams - then strange men are ranting about Alot of good dreams have been interrupted that way...

xo Julie

Julie said...

I just got caught up on your blog, I have fallen behind with the holiday rush - I had surgery the 10th of December and then add the holiday crazies and I got behind...

So you've got the blues.... Here's a sure fire remedy - I'll do it if you will -

Eat a piece of fruit before every meal and as a snack. This should help us with portion control with meals - I'm a big eater. Eat a little something every two hours whether you want it or not - just something about the size of a deck of cards.

Then we will move for 45 minutes - walk, clean house, do laundry - anything - just move. And breathe deep...

We will not eat anything with hydrogenated or high fructose ingredients.

We will pray every time we feel weak for those less fortunate than ourselves.

This is easy for me because being in and out of hospitals all year in 2009 got me up close and personal with alot of poor souls having a hard time of it.

This is just for one day - let's start tomorrow if you are up for it.

You will be in my thoughts today and I will be wishing happy - healthy thoughts your way. You send some mine and together we will feel better for it. xo Julie

tearese said...

haha. My husband doesn't snore regularly, but he does breathe too loud on occasion. Usually when I'm done feeding the baby and about to lay him down, he'll start breathing or snoring really loud, just all of a sudden. I pinch his nose. He stops.

hillary said...

And, if you exercize, you get to eat more points. Win-win

Lorraine said...

Too funny, love this lol