Thursday, May 20, 2010

SO, I'M NOW BLIND IN ONE EYE

I woke up this morning and couldn't see anything with my left eye, not even light. Phil booked an appointment with the retina doctor and the diagnosis is "Central Retinal Artery Occlusion." I feel each word should be capitalized as--to me--this is a big deal. The vision loss is total and permanent.


I texted the kids, their spouses and a few friends on the way to my appointment, asking for their prayers. Each and every one responded, most within minutes. Some followed up the texting with phone calls. Many phone calls. I feel very loved. One of my boys cried on the phone--now I know he really loves me and hasn't just been pretending all these years. One made me promise to eat a better diet and to exercise every single day. One drove 45 minutes to be at my side--the big baby. She said she came as much to reassure Elizabeth as me but I needed her and she came. The fact that she came in to also reassure her sister, is to me, a big deal. I love sibling loyalty. One friend came and sat on the lawn swings with me--she knew she couldn't help but she came to be with me and I love her for it. All of them told me they loved me. Many made jokes, which I loved.


Some of those jokes:
  • "Wow, Mom. You won't have to spend extra money going to 3-D movies."
  • "Humm, this opens up new gift ideas for your birthday." (I'm thinking eye patches and a parrot to sit on my shoulder...Aarg, Matey.)
  • "Can I call you One Eyed Wily?" (You can if you buy me that nifty shirt, below.)
  • "Can I buy you a Cyclops costume." (No one actually said that, that's the part of this post that is "invented" but it's funny, right? Kind of funny? Okay, so nobody has as warped a sense of humor as I have.)
  • "Mom, your turkey gobbler"...you know what a "turkey gobbler" is, right? It's that annoying piece of skin hanging from your chin. Well, not your chin. Your chin is tight and firm but I have an annoying turkey gobbler. Anyway, "Mom, your turkey gobbler will get smaller because you'll have to look way back to your left now--oh, wait, maybe your turkey gobbler will get bigger!"

After everyone went home and I had a minute to think about it, I went upstairs and had a good cry. On the phone tonight to a friend, I cried again. And now I'm finished and this is why.

  • The occlusion could have happened in my brain--then I would have had a stroke. That might lead to drooling and I'm against drooling--unless it's by babies and then it's okay.
  • The occlusion could have happened in my "good" eye, instead of my "bad" eye. (The bad eye had a retinal detachment years ago and had vision loss and also had a cataract. [I'm not old enough for this stuff, really, I'm not.] So, the vision in my good eye could have been lost.)
  • They could have given me that clot busting drug and I could have had a "brain bleed" and that would have caused major problems to my charming personality.
  • I could be dead. Then my kids could call me on the phone and say, "Are ye dead, mon?" I, of course, wouldn't answer because, after all, I'd be dead.

There were many tender mercies today. Trials are all how you look at them and I'm looking at this one as a major blessing. Now tomorrow, I might have a bit of a pity-party, but tonight, I'm focusing on the positive.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart my favorite Mormon girl. Sending love from Florida. Wish I could sit on your swing with you.
Lucy

Anonymous said...

Lynn, I'm so sorry to hear about your eye. Isn't it a blessing though that the Lord never gives you any trial that He doesn't equip you to handle. You are blessed in many, many ways.

Shan said...

What's up with the anonymous people? Witness protection program prolly.

Plus, also, I love your stinkin' guts and your bum eye. That is scary stuff. Here's my eye joke:

Now you can literally turn a blind eye. With the amount of naughtiness I can stir up, that is a good thing for me and you.

Mental P Mama said...

Wow. What a roller coaster ride you had. Stay positive and keep leaning on your wonderful family and friends. Wow.

Annette said...

What!!! I'm just reading this at school and am having that sinking feeling that comes with bad news. I would say you are being amazing (as you usually are), but also very deserving of a pity party. All I can say is that you are loved, prayed for, and that you can love (which you do best) as well with one eye as two.

Michael Rawluk said...

Oh, no. If the volcano is on your left side you won't see it. You also only have to clean half of the house.

It is good that you can 'see' the the humour in life.

Remember some people with two good eyes refuse to see. "Having eyes, see ye not?"

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

Owchies Lynne! SOrry to hear about your eye.. Glad you see the positives! Good attitude!

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

So sorry about your eye. Your attitude is really inspiring. Thanks for writing it all out.

and I know how you feel about hearing scary bad news, whether it's volcanos or what-have-you. Yuck!

Kim said...

It is a dreadful loss for you, but you are right.
You have to look at the bright side and forge ahead.
I've created a file called "inspiration" and I fill it with bookmarks about folks who've faced incredible trials yet maintained positive, even happy, with their lives.
All I have to do is read one story and I realize how lucky I am.
Take care.
(and hi, I just clicked on your blog from Michael's!)

Lee @ The Way I See It said...

Oh Lynne- I am really sad for you- that stinks. I am glad for your supportivefamily, and you have my support too.

hillary said...

Good thing you aren't dead, since I'm not speaking at your funeral. And I will NOT change my mind once you are actually dead.

PS don't forget, I don't get MAD, I GET EVEN.

whirligigdaisy said...

Oh, Lynne. I'm so sorry.

Bentley said...

I call that I get your right side for sittin' next to and for standin' next to while you're cooking in the kitchen. Yogurt will have to settle for your left side, cause I get your right.

cheeky curves said...

Such sad news, but nice to hear of the support you have arround you. God bless and keep you

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry! That is horrible, but I'm relieved that you are going to be alright.

What a great post--a real, horrible situation and a real, sincere, positive reaction to it. You are a strong, funny, faithful woman!

Colette Amelia said...

OH Poo...

Michael is right doesn't matter how many eyes you have you still see more than most.

I am shocked and dismayed though...but I am also glad to hear of all the love that surrounds you!

hillary said...

Heed is silly, You don't need to SEE me to know I'm you love me best and that I'm the favorite.

tearese said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry! When I read the title, I thought it was going to be a joke. It really is a blessing that it wasn't the good eye. I hope you will be okay. Oh, can you still drive?!

Karen Deborah said...

oh wow. I just did a whole post bitchin about bugs, and getting bit. You lost an eye! no if that doesn't put life into perspective well then shoot just who is blind after all? PFFFFFFFTTTTT is my way of doing a clean cuss. And um this is a very impressive lemonade post. this is about the sweetest batch of lemonade I ever tasted.

Dare I ask what caused this? choke splutter cough --is your other eye safe from harm for the time being? Leave it to nurses to ask those awful questions.

And seriously Lynne, I'll be praying for you on my vacation.

Shawn said...

Oh no! I have been gone for way too long----and now I come back to this! You are the sweetest, most amazing woman---and can turn anything into a positive----I hope that it all turns out for you---I will keep you in my prayers....

T and S said...

Sorry about that eye Lynne. Nice to see the lighter notes as well...Thomas

Miles Wolstenholme said...

Very sorry to hear about your eye. Take care.

Mental P Mama said...

I'm back. Thinking of you...

Ami said...

Aunt Lynne,
I'm sorry to hear about your trial. You have always been such an inspiration to me and I love to read your uplifting blogs. You have a lot of faith :) I hope we will see you this Summer.
Love, Ami