IT WAS TUESDAY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

It was Tuesday's birthday party. Lots of family were there.Starting with her great Grandpa and his brand new bride. The great-grandpa's Momma, Tuesday's grandma.Tuesday's grandpa.

Tuesday's other grandpa.

And her other grandma.Aunt Michelle, who brought seven cousins to the party. Yes, all seven are hers. Her hubby was home with no voice. Not from yelling at the kids, though. Some kind of voice stealing bug.Tuesday's Daddy.Tuesday's Mommy who is serving cake to lots of hungry little people."I'll just scare Grandma with a poke in the eye."
The oldest cousin there..Two more.
This cousin tried to get water in his cup because...

when he got it out of the kiddie pool...
...he got soaked. The big kids, just like big kids everywhere, held the pool hostage.But it doesn't keep some from trying to get them wet.Let me off this stool.But now I'm not sure I'm big enough to get in there and throw water on anybody.
This cousin blew a raspberry during the prayer. I took this picture later, you thought I was taking pictures during the blessing on the food, didn't 'cha?It's okay if you blew a raspberry. I did the same thing when I was your age.
Cousin Towel-head.

Sister Mysterious.

This cousin never takes a bad picture.
This cousin obviously got wet when he didn't want to.
We call this pose the "Turkey Lip," because it's big enough for a turkey to roost on.
Time out from the water fight for a little hula hoop.

The birthday girl, all wrapped up.
Three cousins joking around. Only thinking about joining the fun.
More wrapping. "I can't smile. I'm cold."
"Goodbye everyone! Whose turn is it for the next party?"

SIX WORDS FOR THE OLYMPICS

Opening ceremony, fifteen thousand lives, performing.

BEIJING CHINA--THE OLYMPICS--THE CHINESE PEOPLE

Beijing, China. We have heard more about the pollution than anything else. The opening exercises are focusing on the history...at least so far, we are only an hour in.

It is an amazing display with unbelievable choreography. The technology is amazing and yet, some things that I thought were computer-run were human-run. Beautiful humans. The amazing drummers were told to smile more. Why, I wonder? Does China want to change their image with a smile. Do they think I will buy Chinese dinnerware because of a happy citizen's face. It's nice to see them smile but it's a "no" to the dinnerware. To change their image they must be strict in what they import. Internal policies too, need to be addressed. No longer will they be cloaked. This opens their country for worldwide scrutiny.

15,000 performers, each one whose life will be changed because they were chosen to be in this Olympic opening ceremony. For some it will be the highlight of their lives.

These Chinese people, these billion plus people, are all being changed for the better or the worse, just like you and I, every day of their lives. When we think of the Olympics we think of the athletes but it's not the athletes I am thinking of tonight. I am thinking of the woman, living in a hill town, squatting so seemingly effortlessly, over a charcoal fire, making her family's meal in one pot. The Olympics is not an important event in her life tonight. Seeing her family fed is. I see in the young man who leaves his family farm to go to the city and work in a factory so he can send money home. I see the young girl who lives in an orphanage because she was not born male, waiting for anxious parents from another country to get the papers in order so she can have a family.

Each number is a person, has a face, has fears and hopes and dreams. Each person has myriad experiences that are unique to them only. Each has a story. How I wish we could hear them, these stories of people not so different from us.

Let the games begin!

SIX WORD FOR SURPRISING ITEMS IN DEFROSTED FREEZER

Freezer jam. Twenty-seven packages? Enough!

WE HAD TIME WHEN COMPELLED

Two weeks ago I mentioned to Phil that we needed to defrost the freezer. Not today, he said. And not tomorrow either. In fact, we haven't found a day that is convenient. Until today! The freezer demanded to be defrosted all by itself. The door had been left cracked open.

Many things went into the garbage and many other things got cooked. How are we going to eat five pounds of chicken is beyond me. Actually, tomorrow I have to take a casserole to the Food Coalition so I will make it extra chickeny.

Now the question: How come we had the time to defrost the freezer today and not yesterday or the day before? What else in life is like this, time when compelled but not time before?

It scares me. What am I neglecting that I will have to take care of when the demand is made?

SIX WORDS FOR CUT WORDS

She won't clean chicken coop poop.

FRIENDS WHO ARE WILLING TO BE CRITICAL

Tuesday I went to my Personal History group. I didn't take copies because I was still working on the piece. Hardly anyone ever writes on the copies anyway except for Sarah. I told them I really wanted feedback and Sarah, bless her heart, gave me some. And her ideas were good.

So I took her suggestions, fixed the manuscript and took it to DeAnn to critique. DeAnn then read it and gave me more good suggestions. They will make the manuscript better.

I could use another dozen critical friends.


Here are some of the sentences we cut:

“Well, if I ever have two dates in one night I’m not getting caught because I’m not cleaning out the chicken coop,” Holly says.

"I should get an award for encouraging sub-standard humans."

“Don’t touch your faces with your dirty hands,” I say. “Germs will crawl up your nose and eat out your brain.”

“Your stomach is inside, all covered up by skin.”


Now you can see why critical friends are good to have around.

SIX WORDS FOR BUSY DAY

Birthday rabbit, family, dogs, more family.

WHAT A DAY!

Tuesday has turned three years old.
She said she wanted a a bear for her birthday. But she chose a rabbit. "I don't like this one any more," she said after it was stuffed and had clothes. "I want a different one." Tuesday's mother, Gilmore Girl said--perhaps through gritted teeth--"This is the one you chose and this is the one you're going home with."We must scour all the shelves for possible expensive stuff for the rabbit, whose name is Sally.
Curly Sue helped her look high. Thank you, sister, for helping me find all the best stuff.
Now I'm so tired I can hardly walk.

But Mom made me carry my own Bear-box, so I drug it through Gymboree, where Curly Sue said, "Do these fit?"

And then she said, "Lookit this," and almost came out of her shoes with her looking.Tuesday had to drag Sally in her box through the parking lot and then...

...it was so big she couldn't even see. But that doesn't stop her. The goal? The same as all little girls everywhere, get this rabbit undressed.

She finally got Sally out of the box but had to rest for a minute and then...some serious undressing. What a fine shopping day for Sally the rabbit.Curly Sue thinks its funny that Tuesday undresses the rabbit. But she did the same things. All little girls do, no matter if its a rabbit or a doll. The clothes must come off.

As soon as Grandma got home her youngest boy, Lord Bumhampton came with his lovely wife, Nurse Giggleswitch.
They, of course, never t ravel alone.
They bring Arnoldand Gordon. Phil likes to have lengthy conversations with Gordon.

Just as they were getting ready to leave more family showed up.
This is Guitar Hero, Joe Cool and Phil.

Hollywood, striking a pose.

Her sister, Mary Poppins, also striking a pose.

Their Mom, Yoga Princess.

The girls are showing off their school clothes.
Mary Poppins was giving Joe Cool rabbit ears but she didn't quite make it fast enough,
Guitar Hero, doing some serious lounging.

It was a good day. Lots of activities and lots of family, which, after all is the most important thing of all. Family.

SIX WORDS FOR RESCUED

Rescued at J-Dawg by forgiving husband.

STRANDED AT J-DAWG

My J-Dawg partner in crime, Pam, and I sneaked away today to grab a quick lunch. The problem began when, Dawgs in hand, we were locked out of my car. The keys were in plain sight. What we needed was an octopus-lending business to deliver an octopus to us as the windows were down an inch but there was no way either of us could slither through.

Should I call Phil, who didn't know we were J-Dawging without him? We tried other people first--friends who would only be mildly annoyed we didn't pile them in the car and take them with us. Sadly, no one was home so the faithful--and Dawgless--husband came and rescued us.

I brought him a carton of ice cream from the Health Food store. I presented it to him with hat in hand. Well, if I wore a hat I would have held it in my hand.

I don't know about Phil but I'd rather have had a Dawg.

PS Sadly, a J-Dawg eaten when you have done a stupid thing does not have the immense enjoyment that a J-Dawg on an un-stupid day.

Pam, we will have to do a Dawg rerun.

QUOTE FOR TODAY: LOVE

"Love is finding that the things you like best about yourself are not in you at all, but in the person who completes you" — Orson Scott Card (Sarah: Women of Genesis)

SIX WORDS FOR WHY PLANNING AHEAD FOR SUCCESS WON'T WORK

Success: doing dumb stuff, neglecting good.

PLANNING AHEAD SO YOU CAN DO A BIG PROJECT

I clicked on a website tonight, an email link from some person who is organized. She must also be an optimist to send organizing info. to the likes of me.

Here are some of her ideas for if I have a big project coming up that will take more of my time and add stress to my schedule.

Plan ahead: Okay, my big project is to finish--or even seriously start--my book.Let's see how I'm going to do that. Her ideas in blue, because she's so optimistic and blue seems like an optimistic book. My arguments in red because red seems like a hot color. Not to be confused with hot romance.

1. Get your body ready. Try to sleep a little extra and get caught up beforehand. Eat healthy and don’t skip your vitamins or exercise routine.

The reason this won't work: It will take my body a year to get in shape. My book is supposed to be finished by then, if it's not, then I will have forgotten all about it.

2. Plan meals that don’t take a lot of preparation. Stock up on non perishables and supplies.

Non-perishable foods are the ones that aren't good for you. The foods that are good for you are the ones that spoil. And meals that don't take a lot of preparation are what? A piece of broiled chicken and some buttered noodles. Easy? Yes. Good for you? No. Weren't we trying to get our poor body in shape and eat healthy? So, eating healthy and fixing easy meals are not compatible with nonperishable foods. Unless you are going to eat salad every day and salad takes lots of preparation time. And perishes.

3. Don’t add anything unnecessary to your schedule. Wait until the crunch is over to get your teeth cleaned or get bids for painting your house.

Everything is unnecessary when you are trying to write, including sleeping, which conflicts with suggestion #1.

4. Plan your wardrobe. Make sure everything you plan to wear is clean/mended/pressed.

See argument to #3. Clean, mended and pressed clothes are unnecessary if you are writing. You write. You may write in jammies but for sure you aren't writing in anything with a freshly ironed crease. The only crease you will have is from sleeping on your face when you finally stumbled to bed.

5. Communicate. Schedule time with your family to discuss upcoming family events and how details and transportation will be handled in your absence.

Here's how details will be handled in your absence--translated--I'm on the computer, don't bother me. "Phil, dear, could you please get your own meals? And wash your own clothes? And if its not too much bother could you please vacuum the floor and do the dishes because--after all--I'm writing. Oh, one more thing. You're making some of your fabulous homemade V-8 juice. Would you please make some for me too? And bring it down here to me? Thanks so much."

6. Be wise about volunteer activities. For example, let’s say you’re asked to serve on the church finance committee which meets twice a month on Monday nights. This would mean spending more time away from your family.

Well, sorry, but church responsibilities come even before writing in my jammies. I want to end my life on good standing with my Father and I don't think he cares whether or not I write that YA novel but I do think he cares that I helped his other children, which means serving in the church.

So, thanks for the helpful suggestions and the optimistic email. Sorry to fail your suggestion list.

Now, if there is a list on how to handle a husband who has gone around the bend because his wife is demanding, lives in jammies, has a keyboard glued to her fingers, and has facial creases, well, I'd like to see that list. It might be helpful.

PS I have lead you to believe that I am wonderfully productive about this mythical book thing. Sorry to mislead you. I do try to write every day but life does interfere. I would rather stay married than publish. I would rather have friends than publish. I would rather eat salad than publish and maybe that's the problem. Something would have to go. I'm afraid to think that it might be sleep.

SIX WORDS FOR HOT ROMANCE AND BAD NEWS

No romance for someone who's nuts.

MORE HOT ROMANCE TO REPORT AND BAD NEWS, WELCOMED

Another Instance of Hot Romance at Our House.

Yesterday, Phil was at the computer. I came up behind him, put my arm around his chest, laid my head on his shoulder and gave him a hug.

"Uh oh," he said, "What have you done? Have you broken something?"

"I'm just loving you," I said.

"Have you touched something mechanical?" he said. (Mechanical things dislike me. They stop working, break or short circuit. Every car of ours that has even had a breakdown was when I was driving. Alone.)

"The nerve," I said. "Can't you just accept a simple show of affection."

"Well, it's so rare, I was worried."

And so it goes. Hot romance.

Bad News--Welcomed

This morning, when I came down the stairs, Phil met me at the bottom of the steps with a tragic look on his face.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

In that instant I thought of each child. Each grandchild. Maybe something terrible had happened to one of them. Then I thought, Well, he's leaving me. He doesn't get enough romance and he's had it. Then I thought, he's ruined something of mine. The computer would be my best guess. He knows I adore it. I might even say it's a romantic relationship, not a hot one, but still.

I finally spoke in a croaky whisper. "What's wrong?"

"Pika hawked up a fur ball in your shoe."

I have never been so happy to have unpleasant news in my life. I may even have hugged him. "Thank you, Phil," I said. "Oh, thank you."

He now thinks I'm certifiably nuts and doesn't want hot romance with the likes of me.

SIX WORDS FOR MANNERS

Three-year -old gives manners lessons.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISS MANNERS

Last Friday I met Gilmore Girl and her two chicklets, Curly Sue and Tuesday at Heaps. I'm a Heaps customer extraordinaire, I should own stock. I should get a yearly bonus. I should at least be on the menu decision committee.

We were there because Tuesday is turning three--this very day she's turning three.

Happy Birthday, Tuesday.

Heaps sends a certificate to children on their birthday, giving them a free pizza and an ice cream sundae along with their must-always-have-one suckers. (See yesterday's post.)

They ate the suckers after dinner. I don't want you to think Gilmore Girl is an irresponsible parent.

Curly Sue, being her charming self with a brand new haircut.
Tuesday, being her charming self, never waiting until ALL the flashes go off before looking away.

While we ate Gilmore Girl and I were talking about Achievement Days--she is one of the Achievement Days leaders in her ward. Achievement Days is for girls, age eight through eleven. They meet twice a month and have lessons and activities.

"My Achievement Days girls need a lesson on manners, I think," Gilmore Girl said.

Curly Sue is in Gilmore Girl's Achievement Days group. She looked very innocent. Her little sister, on the other hand....

Drank her root beer with her finger in her mouth....

Then she messed with her mother's lemon and ice water.... And didn't hold still for the photo, either--or perhaps it was the person behind the camera.

At one point of the evening she blew a raspberry....

And then said, "It was an accident," but it sounded more like "Ith wath an athident." And then she pulled a face at her sister.

She ate her sundae in a very unorthodox way....

A sticky unorthodox way.

She held her head, in consternation at all the rude behavior. Gilmore Girl held her head too, and said, "She isn't old enough to go to Achievement Days but she definitely needs it."

Tuesday actually had more un-mannerized behavior but I have blocked it out of my mind. I called Gilmore Girl to see if she remembered and she has blocked the rude behaviour out of her mind, too.

Who me? Innocent me? Who's having a birthday this very day? How could you ever think of me as rude?

And so it goes. Children, charming their parents and grandparents so we forget about the questionable behavior.

Or perhaps we don't. Perhaps we forgive.