Saturday, May 23, 2009

IT'S NOT FAIR

I worked for an hour this morning, digging up the Naked Ladies. I got less than half of them done. I also sweat like a sprinkler system in "spurt" mode. This afternoon Phil dug the rest up. In five minutes. He was dry as the Mojave.

He is more efficient at everything. Except one thing: my body is more efficient with food. It runs on roughly 285 calories and stores the rest. His body runs on every stinkin' calorie he eats (4,500) and then threatens to digest his stomach if he doesn't put huge quantities of food in it, immediately. So he does. Another 1,500 calories.

All the while, I look on, sucking on a rock. Sweaty. With bulges.


12 comments:

Shawn said...

Don't you hate the fact that men can lose so quickly and eat practically everything?

And I "glow" alot also....

Cindy said...

It is so not fair!!

Shan said...

You are correct, it isn't fair. Maybe you'll feel better to know that boys do have something going against them...they are boys. While they CAN be wonderful, they are mostly clueless and don't get to enjoy cute shoes, a girl's night out complete with giggling and cheese cake, or even a good cry as often as they probably need it. Plus, also, when you are a boy you have to go to the bathroom by yourself 'cause no one will go with you to keep you company. That's rough, I tell you.

Plus, also, thank you for your comment on my last blog. I knew I loved you best. (Don't tell the others) :o)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

it is so not fair but ever so true

Anonymous said...

I miss the naked ladies I had in Ca. Another funny blog, another one of the best. you are a hoot!!!
Lucy

SuperCoolMom said...

Too funny! We don't have that kind of Naked Ladies here in AZ. I assume they are flowers, but I don't think it would be wise to google it. LOL!

Supercool Hotmama

P.S. I can't do auto mechanic stuff, gymnastics, or magic tricks. (All things I wish I knew how to do.)

Karen Deborah said...

HILARIOUS! Perfectly written, you got me laughing out loud. My body is an efficient storage system too!

Colette Amelia said...

You said it baby. And get this I work hard and get sweaty and then I get bigger! Swelling! and I am sure smelling too.

I am excited that you were digging up those ladies!!!!!

hillary said...

Why on EARTH would you dig up the Naked Ladies? Thats about as bad a Grandpa tearing down the Virginia creeper! I hope you are as happy as he was. The nerve.

Annette said...

You have pin pointed one true unfairness of life. I think there will be some form of compensation in the eternities. I don't know what, but it had better be a good one!

tierneyzan said...

I can so relate to sweating like a sprinkler. It is also hard to watch your husband eat so much more and store so much less. No fair, no fair! I hope in heaven you get to eat all the yummy stuff you want and we are both like slender gazelles.

Astromom said...

My husband seems more efficient at everything too, it is frustrating.