Monday, May 25, 2009

MY TWO DADS

Both of my dads were veterans. My birth dad served in the islands. My stepfather—who I never ever considered a “step” anything, he was Daddy to me—served in France. Both men were in jeopardy. Both saw things that made them frightened and weary and sad. Both came home tired but ready to do what it took to make a life for themselves. Mostly that took hard work, which they knew how to do.

My birth dad married Mom and took over the raising of my two sisters, whose dad had died several years earlier. I was born a couple of years later and two years after that he was killed in a small plane crash.

Mom married Daddy a year and three months later. He took over the raising of three girls, but mostly he provided for and loved us—and put up with us—, mom did the raising.

There are only wilting flowers on graves to mark both of my dad's passing. That and the memories two of us girls have—our other sister is gone, too.

I am sad tonight, sad for my losses. But I am happy, too, because I know a bit about my first dad and I know a lot about my second one. Both had integrity. Tonight it will be enough.

I want to have integrity like my two dads—to honor them. This is the best way I know how.

8 comments:

Michael Rawluk said...

You are a sweet daughter.

Bonnie said...

What a wonderful tribute to both of your dads. Both of them should be very proud to say you are their daughter. . . .
I was thinking the same thing while I was decorating graves today. By the time the flowers sat in the hot car and then the hot sun while i fussed with them, they were wilting on my beloved Randy's grave and also wilting on the graves of his grandparents, too.
I was feeling ashamed that I didn't have flowers that held up better. I hope they all knew that I did my best. . . .and that wilting or not, they were put there with a great deal of love.

hillary said...

Now I'm sad. I miss that Grandpa Rass, and Grandma, and that Aunt Pat for that matter.

I get sad just thinking about when I don't have you to talk to whenever I want. Please don't ever die. I'm not speaking at your funeral. That is my final answer.

Jessica said...

Thank you for sharing about your dads. And thank you for reminding those of us whose dads are just a phone call away to be more grateful.

Shan said...

You are very blessed to have two wonderful dads. You are very wonderful to know how blessed you are. I'm sorry you miss them so.

Annette said...

What a touching tribute. Sometimes remembering can be bittersweet. Bitter because we miss them, sweet because we have such wonderful memories of them. I'm so glad to know more about you and the people that have shaped your life.

tearese said...

How tragic for your mother, three husbands! And yet, how fortunate to find all three men who were good fathers.

Astromom said...

Sometimes the pain is worse as the years go by, an ache. A blessing to know we will see them again, but it sure is hard in the meantime.