This is Mrs. Bird and her husband, Guy Smiley, sitting on the lawn swings, telling us funny stories.
Mrs Bird and Guy Smiley are night owls. Perhaps Mrs. Bird is more of an owl than Guy Smiley because the other night, at 1:30 am, she had to wake him up so they could go to bed. (They watch TV late, catching up on the news and Dr. Oz and other things Mrs Bird records.) So, she woke him up and they got ready for bed. It was Guy Smile's turn to say the family prayer because it was an odd day. (I pray on the odd days too. It's not because I'm odd or anything, it's because my birthday is on an odd day.) Anyway, Guy Smiley prays for everyone (just like me--it must be an odd-day-phenomenon) so his prayers are long. Right in the middle of it he says, "Bless Mrs. Bird that she will come to accept Daphne."
Mrs Bird wanted to poke him right then and there and say, "Who's Daphne?" but since he was praying she waited. The second he said "Amen" she did poke him.
"Who's Daphne?" she said.
"Daphne who?" he said,
"That's what I'd like to know," she said.
"I don't know any Daphne's," he said.
"Yes you do. You prayed that I would accept her." she said. And now she was getting a little peeved. After all Daphne was in his prayer and she was supposed to accept her. Was this some kind of mind game he was playing?
Guy Smiley started to laugh. He's had conversations like this before with Mrs Bird.
"Stop laughing and tell me who Daphne is." Mrs Bird was now glaring at him.
"I don't know, honest I don't." he said throwing his hands in the air while trying to quit laughing. The more he tried the harder it was. There was a good snort building up and it was going to come out any minute.
"Guy Smiley!" she said, "You tell me this instant who Daphne is!"
"Okay," he said, "What exactly did I say?"
"You said, 'Bless Mrs. Bird to accept Daphne."
This sent Guy Smiley into a fit of laughter. "I said, 'Bless Mrs. Bird to accept her bad knee."
This sent Mrs. Bird into a fit of laughter and she couldn't stop. Guy Smiley decided to sleep downstairs because her giggling showed no sign of stopping.
She laughed and laughed and finally at 2:30 she took a sleeping pill and could hardly wake up the next morning.
The moral of this story is: Don't pray for your partner's body parts if they sound like a woman's name. You will have to sleep downstairs and your wife will be so groggy in the morning that you will have to fix breakfast.