THE LIST FOR MY ORGANIZED, WONDERFUL DAY...AND WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

Last night I decided to make a list for today so I would be organized and productive.

8:00 AM--wake up and do all the morning routine and then...

1. Clean the kitchen. Completely.

2. Finish funny, charming story for Personal History group

3. Buy one of the books Elizabeth wants at Borders

4. Browse Borders for 15 minutes only, don't buy anything else

5. Come home--to a clean kitchen. Yay! Make Russian Teacakes

6. Make fudge and Muddy Buddies

7. Pack teacakes, fudge and Muddy Buddies in tins and box everything for mailing to Aunt Dorothy

8. Go to Personal History group, read funny, charming story

9. Come home to a clean kitchen, Yay! Mop kitchen floor

10. Wrap ten presents

11. Fix a delicious dinner for Phil. The table will be cleaned off because I have cleaned the kitchen and I can put the holiday candles down the middle. Light the candles and pretend we are young and romantic.

12. Do dishes and since the kitchen is clean it will take five minutes

13. Deliver 32 bags of caramels with Phil. Sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," at each door. Make the last batch of caramels, wrap them in the morning and deliver the extra 10 gift bags tomorrow night.

14. Sit in the living room with Phil, listen to Christmas music. Drink hot chocolate. Eat two Russian Teacakes. Savor the romance.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:

1. At 8:30 Phil woke me up--I slept in. I had a worrying night and was awake a lot--he said my neighbor had called and she would pick me up in 25 minutes so we could go to the church and put labels on the Relief Society manuals for next year. I had forgotten we were going to the church to put labels on the manuals for next year.

2. Scrambled madly, called my neighbor and told her I'd drive myself because I was going to be late. Drove to church and put labels on the manuals.

3. Went to Borders but because I couldn't find the list of the books that Elizabeth said she wanted I bought a totally unknown book that she DIDN'T tell me about. The guy at the register said it was a great book and since he is an art student—going to a University in Portland in January—he's majoring in animation—he looked twelve-years-old so I figured he would be perfect for the job--I took his word for it.

4. Paid for three other items I wasn't planning on buying but because I had a 40% off coupon my bill was only twice as much as if I had paid full price for the book in the first place. So good of me to have a coupon and pay twice as much. Went to Color Me Mine to look at what I could make with the $20.00 in coupons I received FIVE STINKING YEARS AGO as a Christmas present. Prices have doubled in five years. My coupons are now worth about $10 at the 2002 prices. Grumbled and said I'd be back. Someday. (Not soon.)

5. Forgot to go to my personal history group. Also forgot to finish my story. This is the first time in over a year I have been unprepared. I went an hour late and listened to every one else's story--they were all funny and wonderful. I was not having a funny or wonderful day but I laughed because everyone else was having a funny and wonderful day and I loved their stories. Ate a delicious lunch that Sarah had prepared for us and felt guilty because I dashed out of the house without fixing anything for Phil.

6. Forgot to buy marshmallows while I was out so I can't make the fudge. Mutter and grumble.

7. Came home to a horrible kitchen and made the dough for Russian Teacakes in about twelve square inches of space because that’s all the space that was clean. Put the dough in the fridge to firm. Turned the oven to 400 degrees so it would be ready when the teacakes were firm.

8. Read blogs while waiting for the dough to firm and the oven to heat.

9. Stopped reading blogs when the smoke alarm went off. Removed the pan of flaming chicken grease—that was in the oven from last night after I broiled the chicken. Ran outside and threw the pan in the snow. Opened all the windows, brought the fan in out of the garage and turned it on full force to get rid of the smoke. Picked up two thousand papers off the floor that were on the un-cleaned counter in the un-cleaned kitchen when the fan hit them. Sprayed the kitchen with Oust and heard Phil call from the family room, "Something smells good, are you cooking dinner?"

10. Told him “NO!” and then I turned the oven off and told him now was as good a time as any to go and buy a new water heater because the old one is dying and it flooded the laundry room and bathroom on Saturday. There goes my Christmas present and his too. I have decided I want hot water for Christmas.

11. Stopped on the way home to buy marshmallows for the fudge. They were not on sale. Why didn’t I buy more than one package when they were 99 cents?

12. Bought TV dinners. Came home, heated them in the oven that smelled like broiled chicken. The oven probably shouldn’t be used to bake Russian Teacakes anytime in this century. Pushed 32 gift bags filled with caramels out of the way, pushed six empty tins waiting for Russian Teacakes and fudge and maybe Muddy Buddies out of the way. Pushed last weeks grocery ads and my positive affirmation cards out of the way, plus the box containing the Christmas candles and garland that is supposed to go down the middle of the table to encourage romance. Knocked the Christmas cards on the floor and kicked them under the table. Christmas cards unsent at this date are better off under the table.

13. Ate. I had Mexican and Phil had turkey. We pretended it was beautifully cooked and nutritious. I told him he should admire the clean kitchen, wonderfully decorated table and the fourteen candles, encouraging romance. He snorted. I wiped his cranberry sauce off the decorative tins, waiting to be filled. I threw the disposable dishes in the recycle bin. Phil went downstairs. I looked at the chaos in the kitchen and decided to make the caramels in the morning and put them in the garage so they will be firm enough to wrap in the afternoon. Will do the same with the fudge and the Russian teacakes. I have decided Muddy Buddies are overrated.

14. Asked Phil if he wanted to sit in the living room and have hot chocolate or deliver 32 gift bags of caramels and sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," or if he just wanted to watch the news in the family room. He didn’t answer. I think he was asleep in the recliner. I ate the fudge that someone else brought to us for Christmas and decided to read blogs. I'll make tomorrow's list after tomorrow is finished. That way I can cross off everything on the list and be happy about it.