Sunday, April 6, 2008

A SADNESS IN OUR FAMILY TODAY

Our darling daughter-in-law, Nurse Giggleswich, married to our son, Lord Bumhampton lost her father today. He had leukemia and was waiting to see if the chemo was successful so he could have a bone marrow transplant. A bacteria, or perhaps it was a virus, invaded his compromised immune system and antibiotics couldn't save him. He was only sixty-three. As you can imagine, she is devastated. We all are.

Her father wanted to live. He has grandchildren that needed to have more of his generous love. He has three other children, our daughter-in-law is his youngest child and she has no children, yet.

She was his baby--the baby is the favorite in many ways and our son says that she was her dad's favorite. He's sure of it. I can write that here because her siblings don't know about my blog and so will never read it. I don't know why kids want to be the favorite. They are all the favorite anyway for so many reasons and just because.

When she does have children they won't get to sit on her dad's lap and listen to him read the picture book he wrote, illustrated and self published. They won't get to have the treats he might sneak to them when Momma's back is turned, they won't get to giggle together about it. They are going to miss out on his laugh and his jokes and his hugs. They won't get to hear all the hilarious things he said, right out of the blue. They won't get to listen to his history, stories his kids didn't even know until today. One was about how he earned a purple heart in Vietnam and then threw it in San Francisco Bay when he got home because he was unhappy with the government .

There is more tragedy in our sweet girl's life. She lost her mom to cancer ten years ago. She was only eighteen at the time. A teenager who perhaps had to grow up faster than she might have.

Our girl is putting herself through school, has her LPN and will get her RN in a year, maybe a bit longer. She will graduate from the university this fall in Family, Human and Consumer Development. She has been supporting herself long before she and our son got married. She has worked her way through all her schooling.

She works full time in a care center, taking care of people who outlived her parents by twenty, thirty, or more, years. She has a generous and loving heart, giving care to those who cannot care for themselves. For instance, last year she took boiled eggs and Easter egg dye into work because one little old woman didn't get to color eggs when the rest of the little ladies did, a few days before. That's the kind of person our girl is, going beyond what is expected, working harder than she has to, being better just because she thinks it's the right thing to do.

So, we are sad tonight. Sad for our daughter-in-law and son, sorry for her siblings and the grandkids. We are sorry that the children our daughter-in-law will have will only have one Grandma and Grandpa to love them. We will try to do an extra special job to make up for all they will miss from their other grandparents. We won't be able to do it good enough, but I hope we can help.

I will encourage her to remember and tell her children everything she knows about her parents so her children will feel close to them. I wish I knew more about our girl's parents so I could help with the memory keeping. I am going to ask her things and remember so I can tell the future grandkids about the rest of their heritage, all about her parents because they were wonderful people and because their heritage is a good one.

12 comments:

S.Ghosh said...

i am sorry to learn this ...but then i will pray to God ...
and may be love is the only solace ....

Christine said...

i'm so, so, sorry for this sad loss.

Aprilyn said...

I'm sorry to hear about this. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 18 but that was 15 years ago. My children never got to meet her. My husband doesn't know her either. The baby of our family, my youngest sister, was only 9 when Mom died. She doesn't have the memories I have. She can barely remember Mom at all. Mom has been dead longer than she was alive for my sister's life. Now my baby sister is getting married. So, for her wedding gift, I've decided to make a book of memories. I've emailed tons of people who knew my mother and I have about 14 responses. I plan to put them in a book with pictures. It will be a hard bound book and I'm pretty confident she will cherish it forever.

tearese said...

I'm sorry that happened, whta a sad time. My grandpa died of Cancer a few years before I got married too, and its sad my kids will never meet him. He died just under a year after his mother, my great-grandma died. I guess she needed him to help guide her in heaven!

Colette Amelia said...

Your daughter-in-law is very lucky to be part of your family with you for her mother and who raised such a great son and who has such wonderful grandkids who will all help her get through this terrible time.

Kathy said...

My sympathies to your girl. You are a very sweet lady and grandma.
It is good she has you as her family.

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

*hugs* to the sweet girl! I'm sure you and Phil will make up for the hugs the grandchildren won't get from him.

You will help her remember - good for you! Give her plenty of hugs. That's what I need sometimes, a mom hug.. so I'll get one from one of the sisters I know...They are happy to oblige. I know I could get one from you too.

Elli said...

So sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents 2 years ago, a month apart. Some days I still have a hard time with it.
She is lucky to have a MIL like you to help her deal with this! Here's a hug for you!

Cindy said...

Your daughter sounds like a strong woman. I wish her and her family peace at this time of sorrow.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Thank you for all your messages of sympathy and love. I will convey them on. I appreciate each and every one of you who took the time to write or email me. May God bless each of you.

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Oh Lynne, I am so srry to hear this sad news... Your family will be in my prayers. {Hugs}

Alisa said...

This made me cry- I am so sorry-
I am sure any death is hard, but to have your only living parent left pass away would be especially painful.
I am thinking of her...(and the rest of you too)