Tuesday, February 12, 2008

THE HUNDRED DOLLAR FEMININE PRODUCT

Our drains have been running slow. Sometimes the drain in the laundry room bubbleleth and water poureth forth onto the floor, not unlike what happened when Moses lowered his staff and the Egyptions had to swim. Then the laundry-room-water-on-the-floor e-v-e-r so slowly drains. Not today. It bubbleth and stayeth.
I rounded up all the worn out beach towels and ratty old towels that I don't even remember ever using in real life and sopped up the water and then Mr. Fixit, who couldn't fix this, started calling for help. All those nifty "router" guys wanted $300. THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Now I ask you, does that sound like a reasonable number to you? Me neither.
He called the rental places. They want eighty dollars to rent one of those snakey things. Rootmaster came for an even hundred and did a fantastic job and he went home with a bag of homemade caramels as a thank you. (We don't know how to tip but we do know how to make caramels.)

So if you live here in Happy Valley--Provo/Orem, Utah area, give them a call because they were very accommodating and quick and brought a humongous snakey thing that roared through our drains and brought up a--men, turn your head away while I mention this little item to the girls--a Tampax. A very unrecognizable Tampax but one never the less. He said that the little hundred-dollar-items catch on a seam in a pipe or a root, in the drain that goes from the house to the sewer, and then bits of food--we don't use a garbage disposal so that doesn't apply here--no, we're not purists but the last time we had drain problems the drain-guy said don't put food down our garbage disposal unless it's just mashed potatoes--and anyway our garbage disposal was grinding it's last and so we didn't replace it, but I am getting off the subject with one of those run on sentences I use so often. Anyway, the drain guy said food or tissues catche on it--and probably other things that he was too polite to mention--and everything swells and then your laundry room is puddling with wash water from the Nile. See this little jewel? It is forty-years old. I love the old thing. Notice the fine Clorox product? I should get dollars in the mail for my fine product placement, don't you think?

I am so sorry I didn't take a picture of that nifty snakey thing that went eighty feet into our drains and all the way off our property, probably. But, here is the mess that was made--not by Rootmaster--a former plumber, who couldn't get the master drain clean-out-thing off, really beat up our wall about eighteen years ago and we have just lived with it ever since. We don't move real fast around there in Happy Valley.

The horribly filthy mystery towels are, at this very moment, in the forty-year-old washer with about half a gallon of that bleach that I so carefully placed so I would get big bucks from the Clorox people. Too bad it won't be a hundred dollars.

14 comments:

{b r a n d i} said...

Wow, who would have ever thought a tampon could cause so much trouble?

Ekim said...

In a past life, we had to have the drain snake about every eighteen months. The former She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed had a habit of sending the wrong things down. And we had a lovely little tree with more roots than is acceptable boring its way into the pipe.
I don't miss that smell.

Mental P Mama said...

Too funny...we had the same machine when I was growing up. They don't make 'em to last like that any more. Okay, I just sounded like my grandfather.

kacey said...

we had to get the pipes snaked a few years ago. tree roots growing into the pipes. then a problem at my parent's house this winter--when they conveniently went out of town and left it for us to deal with--same thing. And those roto guys are expensive!!

Cindy said...

We haven't much of a problem with plumbing since the three girls moved away and got married. If you don't want to have to call a plumber every three months...have boys!!

Colette Amelia said...

Oh my, can you apply for disaster relief for when this happens it does so much so seem like a disaster. The smell of Hellfire and Brimstone I think.

Kathy said...

I can't believe I'm laughing about tampon induced plumbing disasters. Been there done that too....

C.C. said...

Oh, I remember those "no tampons down the toilet" lectures from my dad when we were growing up. After reading this story, I guess he had something there...

tearese said...

my parents had that happen once when I was still living at home. I wasn't embarrassed until I realized someone might think the item was mine. It most definitely wasn't.

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

I had my drains snaked a few weeks ago, at the lovely cost of $350, and that was with a coupon from the phone book (remember those old things??) Then a day or two later, it backed up again, and the poor guy had to come out again on Sunday morning, and snake it again! Hasn't backed up again, thank goodness! I hate it when that happens!

Lee W. said...

love you posts, as usual!

Jenny said...

Great site! I love everyone's names, too.

$100 is a great deal, but I imagine I'd charge oodles if I had to do it. I know my Girly Gal,7, (read Prissy and too good to even take off a dog collar) would probably ask for a car in exchange, plus caramels. We've instituted the chore of emptying the litter box as a chore to help keep this from happening, should she go into the rotorooter business. :)

Jenny in VA

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

I love your Maytag. I had one just like it that I bought secondhand when it was over twenty years old. It ran for another twenty and then the repairman said that it wouldn't be worth fixing. I believed him and have lived to regret it. My new Maytag is not the wonderful machine that my old one was. And, to further annoy me, the appliance store refurbished the old washer and sold it again! I should have bought it all over again myself.

Lynette said...

At my husband's office are at least 14 women---so you can imagine the "occasional" (monthly) clogged toilet they have there! But even worse...one of his "former" assistants dumped a vat of parrafin wax (they do hand treatments at his office) down the drain.....WHAT was she thinking?!! That one cost him over $500. He never had the heart to tell the assistant how much the clogged pipes cost...