Sunday, July 13, 2008

THE 110% ANNOYING, NOISY SUNDAY CAT


Minkey is driving me crazy. I'm a pretty tolerant person and can put up with rudeness--to a point and then I either tune the rude person out or walk away--but this cat, this ever talking cat, this rude cat, who talks, but never listens is DRIVING ME CRAZY! I cannot tune him out. I can not walk away--I live here.

I told him today, "Minkey, you don't need to express your every thought!"

His response, "Meaaaow."

He does not have a sweet voice. His voice went through a meat grinder, was drug across a Nevada cactus field, got dumped in a vat of rusty nails, was basted with vinegar and then was installed into his voice box. To say it is irritating is like calling the Grand Canyon and interesting place with a river at the bottom. There is no adjective to describe his voice.

If I hang my left hand down and scratch his back, fondle his ears, pat his head he shuts up but the minute I remove my hand to type, he complains. He needs to belong to a little old lady, who watches TV a lot and wants a cat on her lap.


He won't be able to live here much longer because I won't be here. I'll be in a rubber room, all dressed up in a straight jacket and Phil will be in the room next to mine.


Send help. Send A little old lady with an empty lap. Come and get Minkey. You'll have to get the key from the neighbors and let yourself in. I won't be here. Just take the cat and go. Call the mental home and tell them it's okay to let me out. In the meantime, I'll be there, all wrapped up, twitching.

5 comments:

Boris said...

Lap on way attached to email.

whirligigdaisy said...

And all this time I thought Minkey was your favorite!

Cindy said...

Do I sense a little bit of irritation, Lynne???

Colette Amelia said...

I hear you and I would be right next to you all wrapped up and twitching too. The worst thing about taking the bus was all the noise that could not be turned off or tuned out. Exhausting is to say the least about all that unnecessary noise...

And this coming from us blabbermouths!

Astromom said...

TOOoo, TOOoo bad I'm allergic to cats. I must admit my kids are noise enough, one daughter when she cries its like someone scraping their nails on a board, it drives me crazy. Sometimes I have to have her go to her room till she is done crying so I can reason with her without me going off the deep end.