Friday, June 13, 2008

THE BLIND DATE

I just received an email, one of those "check these items you've done and send it on." One of the items to check was: have you ever gone on a blind date?

Yes. I. Did.

My cousin, my dearest, cousin, who loved me--or so I thought--set me up with her new husband's best friend. When I went to the door, there was the ugliest man I have EVER seen, in real life or in a circus.

I started to curse Holly immediately--silently, of course, outwardly, I was charming. That's my middle name, you know, Charming. I cursed her all the way through dinner, while being charming. I cursed her through the movie and on the ride home, while being charming. When he asked if he could call me I silently cursed Holly and then, my charming self said out loud, "Yes." Then I cursed Holly three times. Curse, curse, curse.

Poor Holly, her life was doomed because of my cursing. I had cursing power. I should tell her that parts of her miserable life are my fault. Or maybe I won't tell her and just buy her a gift. Lots of gifts.

After the date with Mr. Circus Ugly Man, when I got inside I told my roommates, "Kill me now! He's going to call."

Now most men don't call. They say they will but they don't. He did call. He called me lots and took me lots of places and we did lots of fun things and before long I quit cursing Holly. And I fell in love with his ugly mug. But, surprise, surprise, he did not fall in love with me.

Now, folks, in those days not only was I charming but I was rather cute, too. And I was a dare devil and would do most things. Not THOSE things, get your mind out of the gutter. I would do fun things, I would go anywhere and try anything and yet, Mr. Ugly Mug did not love me. I was never so surprised in my life.

So, "Have you ever been totally surprised in your life?" should have been on the list and I would have checked it with a capitol "X."

I do not know where Mr. Ugly Mug is now. I wonder if he got married and bred. His kids are probably working for Ringling Brothers.

Oh, now, chill out. I'm just kidding. Charming people kid, like this sometimes. Hee hee hee.

5 comments:

Billy-Bob Bergemeister said...

I am sorry that I broke your heart. You were just too cute for me.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

I sort of still love you. I'm sorry your children are in the circus.

tearese said...

that wasn't what I was expecting to happen..good story!

tearese said...

wait...are you kidding about the whole story or just the circus part? I mean...obviously the comment is yours... but what about the rest?

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

He was the blind date that only a blind woman could love. I fell in love. He did not. I was bitter--maybe still am a bit although I am happily married but what woman wants to be rejected? So, I made the crack about the circus. Revenge, in a petty way.

Billy Bob is a real jokster. A fun friend. Go here enjoy his funny sense of humor.

http://kulwar.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-06-15T16%3A00%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=1