HOLY SMOKES!

Tonight a friend stopped by and a couple of times she said, "Holy Smokes." I hadn't heard that exclamation for a long time. Do you think that's what someone said when a church/chapel/temple/sanctuary/monastery/etc. burned down? Or is it a big cigar that a religious figure smoked behind the wood shed? And the funny thing, when she left the air smelled just like smoke. It smelled like the forest was on fire.

Another friend says, "Oh my stars." She's the only one I know who says that. Does she stand in the front yard looking up? Actually there aren't hardly any stars if you live in the city unless you are experiencing a blackout and then the sky would be filled. Would they be her stars or would she share?

'When Phil and I used argue one would say, "For crying out loud," and then the other one would say, "For Pete's sake." (We were such brilliant arguers. Witty with the quick come-back.) Who is Pete and why was someone crying out loud? This has evolved over the years to "For crying out the window." I can just picture a sad woman in an old fashioned house dress, leaning against the window frame and crying. Out loud. We don't argue any more. We're too tired. We might lean the against window but that's about it.

My Aunt Lill, who was the most gentle woman I have ever known, used to say, "It's enough to frost your bottom." Can you imagine, my dear little auntie saying such a thing? And what does it mean? She also said, "It's enough to hark a dog." The dictionary says hark means: "...a hunter's shout to hounds, as to encourage them in following the scent." That almost works.

And who ever "Put a sock in it?" And where was the sock supposed to be put? In the mouth, maybe.

If anyone recognizes this one I will know they grew up in Sevier county. "Too late! George is dead!" George was with the family's herd of sheep on the mountain. (People took their sheep to the mountain for free grazing and they would stay all summer.) George's brother was supposed to bring him provisions. A day went by, two days, George was almost out of food. Three days went by, a week. I don't know how long it was but George was out of food for a long time and by the time his brother finally showed up George was so mad he yelled, "Too late! George is dead!"

I shouldn't end with this but when I was growing up we used to say, "Kiss Rosy." We said this like someone might say, "Bug off!" I always wondered who Rosy was. No one seemed to know and then one day it hit me--this was only a couple of years ago. Rosy was code for that piece of anatomy that was frosted. I am so embarrassed. I must have said, "Kiss Rosy" hundreds of times. I hear by apologize to everyone I have ever known.

"Bug off," instead.

Oh, now you know I am just kidding.

Kind of.