FLUFFY, WARM, ALPACA SLIPPPERS FOR MY COLD TOES

I am sitting at the computer, almost completely frozen. My toes no longer have feeling. I have a sweater on. The fireplace is on too. Phil turned it on for me, he's considerate like that. He's probably hot. When I am cold he is just right. When I am warm he is miserable.

Phil says he will make me some hot chocolate. Beastly man, he knows I love hot chocolate. Hot chocolate MADE WITH SUGAR. I won't be having any of that. Maybe I will have some hot water. Yum, all in favor of hot water raise your hands. I see no hands.
This is what I really need. Fluffy slippers. Alpaca ones. But how will I ever figure out my size?

Sizes:
Extra small (35-36)
Small (37-38)
Medium (39-40)
Large (41-42)
Extra large (43-44)

And what does the following mean?

Please note - due to the nature of the fur (the Alpacas are not bred for their fur and die of natural causes) each pair of slippers will differ slightly and will not look identical to the photo shown.

Does that mean what I think it means, that these slippers are made from animals that died of old age or of some dreaded Alpaca disease or perhaps by falling off a Peruvian cliff. Slippers made from dead alpacas?

At this price: Price £40.00

I don't know how to convert dollars into pounds so I don't think I will be buying any warm slippers made from dead, perhaps diseased or clumsy, falling-off-cliffs Alpacas. It was a good thought, for a minute there.

But, if you are interested go here and order your own dead slippers. Just don't tell me.