Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Monroe McKay is a circuit court judge. He is #3 on my "I love that man," list. Right after Phil and my daddy. (Calm down children, you know I love you and your spouses--you are in a whole different category, which we shall discuss some day.)

Years ago, Monroe~I should probably call him Judge McKay but I'm not going to~gave the Mother's Day talk that saved every mother in the ward from the "guilt's." We put aside the "I am a lousy mother," self talk and actually felt we were adequate and maybe even more than adequate. We were fine. We were good or even great.

He has a way about him that makes you believe every word he says and since he is one of those totally honest human beings, you know you are safe believing every word.

Monroe knows how much I loved his original Mother's Day talk because I have been nagging him to have it written and published. Every mother in ALL THE WORLD should have a copy. I have nagged him about 756 times, or every time I see him at church. ~I try to vary my mode of nagging so he isn't bored. I'm considerate, that way.

This year he again gave a talk on Mother's Day in Sacrament meeting. It was, of course, wonderful. His grandson recorded it and Monroe made sure I will receive a copy. (Chris Clark also gave a talk. He was also wonderful. He too made us feel adequate, fine, good and even great and I believe him also because he is another of those totally honest people. He's darn funny, to boot. Check out his blog.) It was a great Mother's Day for me and I have heard from lots of other mothers, young and old who felt the same way.

Anyway, on Sunday Monroe told me that he is going to make an addendum to his talk and give it to me. He told me some of the things he is going to add. They are comforting. Now, I am not in any way eloquent. Monroe is. I wrote what he said down as fast as my little fingers could write but my interpretation of what he said is inadequate so translate it, as you read, into wonderful words.

From Monroe: When you don't get the outcome you want (concerning your children and the hopes you had for them) you can rejoice in what you do get.

Love is the key to your children knowing they are safe to return home, even if they know you do not approve of their behavior. They know you love them and will welcome them home. ~Love it the key.~

Monroe graduated from college eight years behind his class mates and also graduated from law school eight years behind his class mates. If your child is a slow starter just wait. They will figure out what is best for them.

He talked to us until Sacrament Meeting started and I hung on every word--I can't put it all here, nor could I write it fast enough.

Monroe is married the the most patient, loving, giving woman on planet earth. She has enriched my life in ways too numerous to mention. If I could be 50% like she is I would really be a wonderful human being. Between the two of them they are a force to be reckoned with. In a good way. I have never seen her sad. She is simply a happy person, no matter what.

These things Monroe said sound simple, especially the first one but go back and read it and then rejoice.

And rejoice over yourself too. You are more than adequate. You are fine--really fine.

PS I love the word, "fine." The British know how to use that word. We, as Americans, are so used to the exaggeration that many good words are no longer used. Things are not "fine" any more, they are "awesome." Niagara Falls is awesome but a mountain stream, that chuckles and burbles through the forest and falls down, through a few boulders, here and there, making small waterfalls is fine. I would rather sit by the small mountain steam ten thousand times than sit by Niagara Falls even once.

Be glad to be fine. It's not only adequate but, well, fine.


Pam's Place said...

Is Bro. McKay going to share his Mothers' Day talk with you in writing? I would love to have a copy. I wish someone had taped Bro. Clark's as well, because it made me laugh, and cry and the Spirit was so strong in that meeting.

Thanks for sharing Bro. McKay's insights here. I'm sure that love is the key and I'm glad for the reminder.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

soooo Will we get to read this sermon? I for one would love to... Enjoyed the post its another keeper :D and that is FINE!

Colette Amelia said...

OK now I don't want to sound like a man hater but why do women think that if something is not fine with the kids it is their fault?

Don't kids have fathers that might contribute to the goodness or the badness?

And not only this there is friends, society, schools, teachers, coaches tv...all that bubble into those growing minds and contribute to their outcome.

It is time that mothers realized that they are not super human and that they do not carry the burden of the world on their shoulders...we have had enough of the burdens just carrying them in our wombs and birthing them...and we should be patting ourselves on the back for all the energy and time and food and driving and everything else we do for our families...

And let me say we do so much that we end up ignoring our physical and mental needs...so we end up out of shape and maybe not as healthy as we should be.

And guilt of not doing enough of a good job will not help our mind, body or soul.

So fellow mothers out there we are marvellous.

and that is all I got to say about that.

kathy riordan said...

I just finished posting on my own blog about the Monroe McKay I knew when I found yours. I enjoyed reading it, and was happy to know that he is still influencing lives for the better. He was certainly a profound influence in my own life. Thanks for your post. If you ever get a copy of that Mother's Day talk, I'd love to see it.

In My Life