Thursday, March 20, 2008

ARE TOUGH TIME JUST HERE OR ARE THEY WHERE YOU ARE TOO?

Tough times.

My friend's hubby lost his job. She's frightened. Should she get a job or trust that he will? She doesn't want to move. Again. He says they won't have to but how does he know?

Another friend fell and is on crutches, no one at home to help her. Her husband, the love of her life, that she found late in life, died, and the loneliness is worse now than before she found him.

Two people have leukemia. Not good for either one. One's kids are grown but those kids have already lost their mom to cancer and this would be devastating. The other one is young, married with a two year old--a whole life to want to live, a child she wants to rear, to teach, to watch grow, to laugh with and love--a husband she wants to grow old with.

Another in the hospital...again. She has had so many surgeries she can't remember how many. Close to 30, maybe more. She, too is alone. Her husband was not a very happy person but she adored him until the day he died.

Money worries. For so many it is money, the lack of money, it's never having too much, is it?

Another friend lost her husband and has four kids to rear. The oldest is fifteen, youngest six. How will she do this alone? The loneliness--in the midst of the noise, the scheduling headache with the four kids in sports and music and homework and of them missing their dad--is almost unbearable.

One woman's husband divorced her, he lives high, with a new house, new wife, new life. He knows how to manipulate the system, She lives in poverty with constant stress, going back to school and hopes she can earn enough to live humbly, at best.

Another has a child doing dangerous or illegal things; many are dealing with this.

One's wife has Alzheimer's, he is her caregiver and has health problems of his own. Will she out live him? He wants to care for her until the end, but will he go first?

Another invested her retirement with a scoundrel and lost it all. He probably isn't a real scoundrel, he probably thought he could do well for her but he didn't, and now she has nothing. Now she is older, in poverty. She needs to work but is older, and tired, and discouraged.

Ill health abounds.

This is just the ones I can think of without straining my poor little brain too much. I know that many--that I think are blessed--are nursing worries and fears and hurts that I don't know about.

Fears.

Faith.

Hope.

But also reality.

Most of these people have faith, but some still have some fear. We know that fear and faith cannot exist at the same time. So, if you have faith, can you see, out of the corner of your eye, a wisp of fear? And, if you see a wisp of fear has the faith departed like a freight train?

The pain of divorce, death, an uncertain future...what to do?

Let go? Tell Father to let the Savior carry your hurts? Yes, sounds easy but it isn't, is it? But what other option do we have? We can work hard. We can eat better so the disease doesn't have a running start--I'm REALLY speaking to myself here. We can prepare for the future. We can love those who will let us, help those who we can, and when we need help, we can be gracious and let others help us.

The best relief I know of is prayer. And faith. And stomp on the fear until it smolders. And then...my personal favorite, have friends like I have who say, "All is well." And believe it. I have a friend like that, more than one--several actually, but one in particular who says, "All is well," and when she says it, I calm down and feel better.

Years ago, I was pregnant, at age 42. I worried. I knew the statistics. A dear friend who I will call Pammie, because that is her name--sort of--said, "There is NOTHING wrong with that baby!" She was the voice of authority and I believed her and quit worrying and the pregnancy was easier. Way easier. There was nothing wrong with the baby--that baby is Her Excellency of Mousehole and she is beautiful and smart and funny and I adore her. But what if there had been something wrong? I would have had several months of no fear, no worries, and then I could have faced the problems when they came, instead of anticipating them all along.

What am I saying? Have faith. Be strong. Don't worry. Is it possible to have faith and not worry and then, when, and if we have to face hard times we will be rested and ready? In the meantime let the Savior handle it. He says he can and wants to. So let's believe him. Let's believe him and be his helpers when others need our strength.

I hope all of your are handling what you have in your life right now. If not, I hope you will have faith and I hope that you have a friend who can give you the love you need and the words to give you courage to get through this time with dignity and grace or even with slobbering tears if you need to do that. I've done my share of that, too--it was not a pretty sight but my friends stood by my ugliness with encouragement. They listened. Sometimes they gave advice but mostly they listened and said things like "There, there." It's nice when you have friends, who will just listen and say, "There, there."

Will you believe me if I say I am sending my love to you, even if I don't know you? I am, I hope it will help in some small way or maybe even in a large one, like it does when my friends say they love me, when Phil says he loves me and when they all say, "Don't worry, all is well."

I love you. Be comforted. Let the Savior carry your burden, just for today, just for tonight, just this week. You can pick it up later if you want, but let Him carry it today.

8 comments:

stampingqueen said...

Auntie, you have such a beautiful testimony of faith. I'm going to make sure Cameron reads this post, he needs to hear everything you said right now - and you just said it oh so well.
We love you, too. And miss you.

Lisa

Cindy said...

Lynne, I woke up way to early this morning with overwhelmed feelings racing in my brain. Your message gave me such comfort. Very fitting for Good Friday! I will let the Savior carry my burdens. Thanks for reminding me.!!

Pam's Place said...

Lynne, thank you for a wonderful, encouraging, uplifting message. I need to print it out and read it often. You are so wonderful at helping others to carry their burdens, an angel sent from above for so many people. What would I do without your friendship and love?

Colette Amelia said...

Does your religion have saints? I don't even know if saints really are real and even do things but I proclaim you Saint Lynne...and what is all the more special about you is that you are a living saint that will work her magic in all her dazzling marvellous ways!

And you make me laugh! I had a tear or two for this one though.

hillbilly2 said...

So easy, yet so hard. That roller coaster we call life. It is when we are at our worst that he will reveal himself. I am sending up the same for you also. We all need him in good as well as bad times.

whirligigdaisy said...

Oh Lynne. This was so tender. I must remember that my problem (devastating as it is to me) is not as big as the problems others bear. This was a great reminder. I gave him my burden on Good Friday. I feel better today. Love you.

Astromom said...

You are so compassionate and so aware of what is happening with everyone. I really appreciate you sending this and reminding me of how many others there are out there in so much need. I feel overwhelmed not knowing how I can help or what I should do, I hope the Spirit can guide me, but at least I can pray for them, pray for God's mercy and maybe I'll be inspired in some way to help.

Teresa said...

This was a very timely post for me. We're going through a tough time right now with my husband's health. I know He is in God's hands, yet at times I let a bit of fear creep in. It doesn't stay long, but it tries to get its hold on me. Thanks for these words of wisdom and insight!