Wednesday, March 12, 2008


It was my birthday, maybe I was eight, maybe I was ten. This isn't the actual picture, my bike was worse. It had more heavy metal on it. The chain guard was made to look like part of a rocket ship, so help me it did. It was supposed to look cool.

Mom and Daddy could hardly contain their excitement, They brought it in the house and put a big bow on it. It took two men to get it up the front steps--just kidding about that part, but not kidding a whole lot. That bike was a beast.

This one weighs 76 pounds and mine did too--at least. It cost a fortune, otherwise why would Mom and Daddy be so proud?

My cousin, Holly had a new bike too. Uncle Bliss and Aunt LaVern were thrifty. He taught Seminary for the entire South Sevier High School. He was also the Stake President for seventeen years--Stake President to at least six little towns. Yes, seventeen years so every person in the Stake who had a son or a daughter get married invited them to the wedding reception. That meant hundreds of gifts to buy. They had to be thrifty.

Holly got a cheap blue bike that weighed five pounds. It did have fenders but that's all the extras it had. I think they were made of aluminum foil, painted blue.

In those days bigger was better and poor Holly had the inferior bike--for about five minutes. Whenever we went anywhere she sailed, I pumped. She lifted her feet up on the handlebars and coasted. I stood up and pumped hard. I hated that bike but Mom and Daddy were so proud, what could I say? I pumped and sweat and lagged behind.

After I grew up that old bike--probably because Mom and Daddy had paid so much for it--never got thrown away. It was in Daddy's shop and every time my nieces and nephews came down they had to ride that bike. They gave it the name: The Clunker.

I probably have inferiority complexes by the dozens from that horrible bike. I'm so happy to finally be able to give a name to the cause. I'm a product of The Clunker. I feel much better now.


Anonymous said...

They don't make 'em like they used to, do they? Actually I like the old seats and handlebars much better than today's bikes. But 76 pounds?! Now that's alot of bike!

(I'm having trouble posting comments here under my blog name)

tearese said...

I had a pink bike with a big ol padded bannana seat. I thought it was awesome, 'till kids at school told me it was the ugliest bike they'd ever seen. Mean kids. I think the bike in your picture looks pretty nifty.

Ekim said...

I had a bike that weighed about as much as a motorcycle. Rode it on gravel roads. It was enough to shake your teeth out.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I had the hi-rise handle bars with the flower power banana seat. Bright blue. I was in heaven.

Cindy said...

The thought of a bike made out of aluminum foil made me laugh!!!

Colette Amelia said...

I didn't have a bike. Then I got one and when my brother got big he got it and once again I had no bike until I was 13. And once again I had to guard it from those brothers.

Boys rode bikes girls were supposed to stay in the house.