Thursday, March 27, 2008

WE LIVE IN A SHELTERED SPOT ON MOTHER EARTH--AT LEAST FOR NOW

Today Gilmore Girl and Tuesday came from Outer Mongolia to shop, go to lunch, and play. Gilmore Girl cut my hair before we left so when we went shopping I wouldn't have to wear a bag over my head. As it turned out I should have worn a bag anyway.

Years and years ago, when we bought our house, when dirt was new and dinosaurs still roamed the earth, we had no idea we were moving into a sheltered spot. We live close to the mountains, probably exactly on the Wasatch fault. So, one day we will not be sheltered but teetering on the edge, peering into the abyss. But, because we live close to the mountain the fierce winds that come out of the mouth of the canyon don't come our way. It's been a blessing in our lives, it truly has. I grew up in a windy town, slept in a room that had eves that invited wind to howl around them and I really dislike the wind.

After the hair cut and style we went to Target, roughly five miles away. Before leaving the house the sky was sunny, the air was cold and the weather was as still as a ten year old playing hide and seek in the best spot ever. When we got to Target the sky was sunny, the air was cold and the weather was as if the ten-year old's hiding place was on top of a red-ant hill--a red-ant hill of nine million ticked-off ants. My hair went straight in the air and my breath was snatched from my lungs and hurled to Nevada. By the time we actually got into Target I looked like I had been to a dance with the Tasmanian Devil. It was not a pretty sight.

Because I am such a marvelous artist and because I am so accomplished in the "Paint" program--and this is my first time ever, too--I am so proud--I am going to show you exact replicas of how I looked as we pulled into the Target parking lot and after opening the car door and actually stepping outside.

Here is my before picture:

And here is my after picture:


As you can see, even my ears took a beating. Even my shoulders were sucked toward the sky.


That's how it is where we live. We rarely have any wind but a few miles away the wind is as if the God of the Vacuums has his best machine turned on, either on the "suck" setting or the "spew" one. It matereth not. The effect is the same, horrifying hair--except for the "spew" setting when you get horrifying hair that is full of bits of things that you'd rather not know about.

And so, as we close today's blog, I will leave you with a picture of what might be coming next, because I know you are maybe hungry for more real life pictures and because I don't want you to feel bad in case you live in a hurricane zone, a tornado zone, a tsunami zone or any other zone that scares the living daylights out of me.

Here is the zone I may be living in sometimes soon.

13 comments:

C.C. said...

I love your pictures! You are the Picasso of "Paint"! Very funny story and terrific illustrations!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

TOO funny... I seriously can not use paint to save my life. your drawings are just too cute.
hugs
laura

PS first COOL word verification I have ever gotten! CAKED!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

less than a second... it also has the feature where it will take several (3 i think) in a seconds time... I think my old camera is having a couple issues I had not realised until I played with the new one today... my old one will take forever to load onto the puter... new one took a couple minutes for 35 pictures, old one has a horrid lag like you are talking about... not positive if it is the camera or the battery as it has the rechargable type this camera (new one) has double A's It also depends what kind of setting you have the camera on. what type (brand of camera do you have?)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

i decided to answer on your blog .. have to laugh at myself when I re read it... Anyone one reading will be so confused as to what i am talking about and where it comes from LOL.

Colette Amelia said...

Bravo! Wonderful! and by the way you look marvellous even after the vacuume has had its way with you.

Michael Rawluk said...

I didn't realize just how gorgeous you are. Are you a model?
You should tie a rope around yourself and anchor the other end in the solid part of the earth while you are sleeping. If the house disappears you will be gently dangling in the morning when you awaken.

Cindy said...

Lynne, you make me laugh. I totally love the pictures. The vulture hanging over your house is perfect!! At least the vulture will be able to find you. I, however live in California and will be washed into the depths of the sea as California falls into the ocean!!

S.Ghosh said...

hilarious plus the pics .....

kacey said...

LOL, well the drawings are interesting...

Love this line!! "he weather was as still as a ten year old playing hide and seek in the best spot ever"

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

Awesome that you got the color into the last pic! You are a brilliant artist! I've never tried the drawing thing.. I even had my parents beg the principal to get me out of art in Jr High, because I could.not.draw. So there.. Good for you! (and if it makes you feel better, I did have music classes, so I wasn't completely "art" deprived.)

Kathy said...

You take a bad hair day and make it hilarious. Brilliant! By the way, I adore your new hair cut, cute.

Lee W. said...

we live on top of a hill, it never stops blowing here. It's great in the summer, sucks in the winter. I hear ya'...

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Your pictures are cute, but that last one didn't look fun! I hope this doesn't occur in our lifetimes!!