SATURDAY'S LIST--THAT I'M NOT GOING TO DO--or--SLACKER SATURDAY

I think I will occasionally have a list feature. For this I need your help, all five of you who read my blog, bless your sweet little hearts.

It will be only five items.

It will be from the depth of your soul. And mine.

Sometimes it will be from the un-depths of your soul. And mine.

Sometimes it will be funny and irreverent--not too irreverent, mind you. You can be funny and irreverent--only not too irreverent, can't you? I knew it.

Okay, let's go.

Today's list: WHAT SHOULD YOU DO TODAY THAT YOU REALLY HAVE NO INTENTION OF DOING?

Here's mine:

1. Clean up the pile of clothes at the bottom of my bed. Gilmore Girl has itchy fingers, wanting to get to that pile. She's a cleaner-upper. She should start a business. She could call it "If You Won't Clean It Out I Will," or perhaps something more clever. She's more clever than I. I keep telling her to write a children's book but does she listen? No. I'd hire her to clean up my pile, even though she doesn't listen to her mother, if she didn't have this rule: "You can't be here while I clean." What kind of a rule is that? How would she know what was precious? So, that piece of clothing hasn't fit in 35 years? It was the shirt I wore with Phil to the carnival. It holds memories. If I can stand to let go of the memories I will let her have full rein. She would be in Heaven. I should do it just for her pleasure. And she should write a childen's book, for mine.

2. Clean the cobweb strings that I can see from my computer chair but that I can't reach. Okay, Maybe I will try to reach them as they really are driving me crazy. And where is the spider who made those pesky cobweb strings. I'm on the lookout.

3. Plan menus. I am trying to incorporate more vegan meals into our diet as my stroke vein is loud and I'm worried. When I eat what I call "clean" for a few days the noise in my head--the stroke vein--calms down. If I eat clean long enough the noise goes away completely. My theory is that with no animal products in my blood my body cleans the plaque out of my veins and arteries. So, I will think about planning menus. This is my favorite site for vegan recipes. She--Bryanna Grogan--is a masterful cook. Years ago, when we first went vegan I couldn't find any recipes so I started a newsletter that I published every three months. I knew how to do it once, and did it well, I might add. I just need to do it again. Maybe with Bryanna's help I can do it.

4. Clean out the fridge. If I leave it long enough Phil gets disgusted and starts throwing things away. He says, "Do you want this?" and of course I never do, it's turned bad but I can't throw it away until I see evidence of it's badness. Mold. Sliminess. Smell. Thank goodness for Phil. If he weren't ever vigilant the fridge might have to be classified as a toxic waste dump. We would be condemmed and would never see the light of day again.

5. Exercise. I know that would help the old stroke vein as much as a clean diet but I'm just not going to do it today. Maybe I will walk over to the horse barn to take more pictures but that's as vigorous as it's going to get.

So, what's on your "To Do" list that you aren't going to do? It will make me feel better if I know that five of you, out there in Internet land are planning a Slacker Saturday too.