Tuesday I went to my Personal History group. I didn't take copies because I was still working on the piece. Hardly anyone ever writes on the copies anyway except for Sarah. I told them I really wanted feedback and Sarah, bless her heart, gave me some. And her ideas were good.
So I took her suggestions, fixed the manuscript and took it to DeAnn to critique. DeAnn then read it and gave me more good suggestions. They will make the manuscript better.
I could use another dozen critical friends.
Here are some of the sentences we cut:
“Well, if I ever have two dates in one night I’m not getting caught because I’m not cleaning out the chicken coop,” Holly says.
"I should get an award for encouraging sub-standard humans."
“Don’t touch your faces with your dirty hands,” I say. “Germs will crawl up your nose and eat out your brain.”
“Your stomach is inside, all covered up by skin.”
Now you can see why critical friends are good to have around.
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3 comments:
Oh Lynne. Those lines are so funny. Maybe we shouldn't have cut them.
Nope, they have to go. Just like the word diarrhea had to go in the "Little talk" chapter. You helped make the piece stronger. Thank you, my friend.
I kind of like some of those cuts.
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