"How are you," I said.
I can read between the lines. She was not fine.
"What's the matter, you don't have your..." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "...bottom stuffed with fabric and taped shut again, do you?" (Don't believe me? Read here.)
"Oh, no," she said, "but I do have a rash on my bottom and it won't go away and I've tried...." and then she proceeded to tell me all the things she has tried to get rid of her bum-rash. (Mrs. Bird will tell you anything, really, she will. Ask anyone who knows her.)
And then she proceeded to tell me more than I wanted to know about several others subjects and my eyes glazed over and...well, I was in for a long listen.
Did I mention that I adore Mrs, Bird? I don't want to give you the wrong impression, because I do.
And, if you have a rash and want to know several ways not to cure it, and if you want to be entertained by a number of other subjects for a good long time....she'll be at church next week and you can catch her in the hall.