OVERHEARD IN VARIOUS PLACES AT VARIOUS TIMES

I've been keeping a note or two of things I've overheard here and there.


In our family room:

Minkey, our annoying, Burmese cat was complaining, meowing, with his smoker’s voice. Phil said, “Minkey, you need your own little house with it’s own little fireplace.” He paused a long time and then said, “In Burma.”


At the cemetery:

Woman: “Oh I forgot to bring flowers.”

Man: “Well,” he said, pointing to a headstone, “there’s some over there.”


At a restaurant:

Young man: “What can they do, fire me?


At a gathering:

Young woman: "You’re early.”

Man: “Yup, I got the worms.”


At a gathering:

"She's been in love with him since she was fifteen."


At my Personal History group:

"I like to play video games on the computer but I know it's a waste of time so I started listening to the the scriptures while I play. Is that wrong, somehow?"


In our Sunday School class:

"We've decided we have to grow up and quit spending money whenever we want to." Then he paused and looked crestfallen. "I sure hate it."


Also at our Personal History group:

"I started out in geology but then I realized that rocks don't have any personality."

Between a husband and wife.

Woman: "What was a noise?"

Man: "It was a duck in my pants and I shot it. There might be more because they come in flocks. You never see a lone duck."

(I had a hard time not snorting when I overheard this.)

At a restaurant:

"I couldn’t get to sleep last night; I just couldn’t get comfortable. Then I found a piece of popcorn in my belly button."

Overheard about a man and woman who had ten kids. He was a grumpy fellow, I guess.

"Well, he must have been happy ten times, anyway."