THE CLOWN CAR STRIKES AGAIN

Tonight, Phil went to the movie with the Brown Dot--Quantum of Solace--and I went to Pam's house. In the snow. Driving the Clown Car. When I got in I noticed all the doors were unlocked. I was sure I had locked them the last time I drove. I shrugged my shoulders and thought maybe I was mistaken. I've got to be more responsible, I thought.

As I was driving down the street a teenager was walking/slipping down the road coming toward me. He was slipping on purpose, like foolish teenagers do, having a great time.

"Here comes a cute little red car but I'm on the edge of the road and will be fine."

As I got closer the Clown Car went into full door lock/unlock mode. I could almost hear the teens thoughts.

"Hee hee, she thinks I'm tough and dangerous. She's locking her doors as a precaution."

The Clown Car unlocks its door."

"Whoa," he thinks. "Maybe she thinks I need a ride."

Then the Clown Car locks it's doors. Then unlocks it's doors and then unlocks and locks the doors so fast I lost track.

"What's on earth is the matter with that woman?" His eyes are showing white all around his pupils.

And then as my car continues it's locking and unlocking tricks he panics and jumps over a five foot pile of snow and takes to the sidewalk. He looks over his shoulder at me as I pass and I can almost hear him saying, "That woman has serious problems."

I drive on, the car locking and unlocking. When I pull into my friend's driveway I get out and lock the door. Nothing. It's locked all four doors, all by itself, for four blocks and now nothing. A new facial twitch is beginning. I hope Pam doesn't notice.

We had a good visit and then I left to come home. The door locking frenzy seemed to be over. When I got home and locked the door only that one door locks. I decided to leave the other's unlocked. With luck someone will hot wire the Clown Car and drive off into adventures of the weird kind. Good luck to them, that's all I have to say. Bless their hearts.